(NSV) MY SKINNY PANTS FIT!!!

You know the ones - the jeans that have been hidden away for years, the ones you’ll wear again “someday” when they fit again. Well I put those bitches on today and didn’t struggle to zip them up. I’m literally crying tears of joy and disbelief. If I can do this anyone can.

(For those wondering, my routine has been exercising 6 days a week and counting calories. I cut out alcohol and meal prep everything so I only have to count my calories one day a week. Lots of eggs, chicken, salmon, and green veggies. I get one cheat day a week and eat whatever I want on Sundays. It’s been slow and steady weight loss, about 1 - 1.5 lbs a week. Lots of little changes have added up to big results.)

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I let others contribute to my failure...and hate myself for it.

Currently anyway. I am hoping to get back on track this week after straight binging for weeks. I posted recently about people making rude comments about my weightloss. Telling me I am too skinny, even that I look sick. Oh, and lets not forget the classic "you looked better before".

I am 5 2", started out at 160 back in March, started IF and just eating better, and limiting carbs and sugar. I was not super strict but strict enough to lose 30 pounds, so I was doing good. Or so I thought until I got almost nothing but negative feedback on my weightloss. I was down to 127.

So after one comment I got, that day I went to the store and bought all kinds of food. Stopped IF. Ive been eating all hours of the day, early morning and late night. I weighed myself yesterday and somehow the scale has only moved up 3 pounds, yet I feel like I gained more. My clothes seem tighter, face fatter, maybe bloating? Even if I have not gained too much I have wrecked my diet and eating more is causing cravings. Yesterday I ate 4 meals, when I used to only eat two a day during IF. I had two HUGE bowls of my kids' Frosted Flakes, and I had not eaten cereal but once I believe since I started my weight loss. Its my weakness, all that cold whole milk and sugary crunchiness.

I just don't know if I can get back on track. During this binging I keep sporadically thinking that I am doing something right, I looked better before to others, right? But I talked to my mom who assured me that others are wrong. Possibly due to not wanting others to succeed. Even people here told me they were wrong, so I am trying to trust those opinions.

I just wanted to share my struggle, get some support. I can not believe that after finally sticking to a healthy diet and losing 30 pounds that here I am yet again with the same eating habits. Since March! And I am just now failing.

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Do not lose focus!! Be honest with yourself.

It's been 18 months and over 100 pounds lost. Still not at my goal which is 190.

Over the summer my weight loss slowed down quite a bit. I felt I was still doing the same things before the summer.

But being honest...I was dating more. Which means eating out more. I was still tracking but I was also starting to eat allot of high sodium high sugar foods that I avoided early on. I also was not drinking enough water.

Another mistake I made was as my weight got lower I never lowered my calories enough to keep myself in a deficit.

So I recently looked at mfp settings and never realized I had my activity set to light activity. Once I changed it to sedentary it lowered my calories.

So im back to focusing on that lower calorie range I'm at now. Making sure I drink my water. I also increased my intermittent fasting to 20:4 from a loose 16:8 that honestly I was not strict about. Since the changes my weight has finally moved to 225 as of this morning putting me at around 110 lost.

So if you find yourself not losing as much as you used to early on. Make some changes and also really be honest with yourself... are you still doing everything you did early on. My answer would be.. no... no I wasn't.

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It's so surreal to carry the amount of weight you lost in groceries

For context: I am around 90.4kg and I used to be around 103kg, I'm 5 ft 2.5 (I carry most of my weight in my legs) and I just got back from the supermarket. When I first picked up my rucksack and the single sturdy carrier bag I packed with me (I didn't want to spend an extra 5p for another one) I knew it was heavy. I knew I had to walk up a slope to get back home. Thankfully I only live 15 minutes away but in that short space of time, the lower back and knee pain I felt was all too familiar. Drenched in rain and sweat while in the lift (I live on 7th floor), I wondered how much I truly carried up that mini hill right outside of the supermarket.

Putting my groceries down on my bathroom scale and it read... 13.5kg... To say I was shocked was an understatement. While I was walking, it felt as though I had been in this situation before: out of breath, struggling to breathe, my back and knees begging for mercy... And now I knew why. I used to be that heavy.

I know I still have a long way to go but it's nice to look back sometimes and see how far you've come. I just wanted to share this with someone. If you're like me and the weight loss has been slow, don't give up! It's better to move slow than to not move at all. It took me a year to lose 13kg and even though I could've lost a bit more, I'm glad I did it. Have you ever had an experience like this before?

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Hit my October goal with 4 days to spare!

A little background-

I’ve been overweight most most adolescent and adult life. Diagnosed with PCOS when I was 17 paired with not great eating habits and relationships with food made it pretty easy to gain weight. In college, I lost 80 pounds, but picked up lots of unhealthy habits from other college girls (no blame, looking back I wish I could hug all of us and scream “YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE! BE ACTIVE, EAT HEALTHY AND REACH YOUR GOALS! YOU DON’T HAVE TO HATE YOURSELF INTO THE BODY YOU WANT! Also guys don’t even know what cellulite is, so don’t worry about it!)

Flash forward, I injured myself and could no longer run, fell back into OTHER unhealthy habits, and gained 120 pounds. Now, some of that is luckily muscle. Through all of it, I found enjoyment in weight lifting, but healthy eating escaped me. Body-wise, I’m a little smaller than when I ORIGINALLY started losing weight, but still in a body that’s not quite comfortable for me.

Blah blah blah, after lots of life changes and goals reached outside of health and fitness (doubled my salary in 6 years and picked up and moved cross country from Michigan to Florida after 3 years of wanting to), it was time to figure out how to be healthy, manage my PCOS, and reach some aesthetic goals too.

I made a goal to lose 8 pounds in October, fit more activity into my day, and to tackle the “ugh I used to be so thin and in shape, this workout should be easy and I should be skinny again already” thoughts that have gotten me down for years. I’ve been responding to those thoughts with love, cutting myself some slack, and focusing on how to treat my PCOS naturally and letting the body changes follow.

This morning, I weighed in and I’ve lost 8.4 pounds! I’ve eaten donuts, Mexican food, went out for drinks, and had several treats in Disney World with friends. I took walking breaks with a coworker on lunch, “ran” on a mini trampoline so it didn’t aggravate old injuries, and started taking inositol. I avoid most grains as they don’t agree with my body, increased the fat I was eating, and get most my carbs from fruits and veggies. Carbs aren’t bad for weight loss, but my PCOS comes with insulin resistance, so for me, they’re an issue.

I’ve also recently switched to a “world’s worst vegetarian” diet, where I limit my meat intake to a few times a month (personal reasons, not health related). This month, I found a good balance of how to eat this way while still getting ~100g of protein a day and keeping carbs around 100-120 net carbs, which feels good in my body.

I feel better in every way. More energy, less brain fog (a common PCOS symptom that gets no attention or treatment from docs🙄), less inflammation, less pain. The changes came so fast, even with the flexibility of grabbing Mexican food with my work wife to celebrate payday, French fries and ice cream with friends at Disney, a few cocktails and extra snacks when I was still hungry at night.

I’m so excited, I had to shout about it to someone! One thing I do miss from my college weight loss days is a support network. Before it became an unhealthy obsession, it was so motivating to talk about successes and struggles with like-minded people.

Thanks for letting me celebrate! Can’t wait for what November holds!

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What was the FINAL obstacle you overcame that started your weight loss?

With me there were a myriad of factors, and their contributions to keeping me fat changed rank frequently over time :

) Not knowing how to cook, whether in the pan, in the pot, on the stove, in the oven, in the grill -and not having much on YouTube tutorials wayyy back in the day (2004/5) ;

) Thinking as a Bodybuilder I had to get protein from chicken breast, failing to make it palatable and binging on crap;

) Thinking as a Bodybuilder I could cut ( that's lose fat while training heavy, I can't, I just can't, see below);

) Thinking as a Bodybuilder I had to keep training hard because I probably had crappy muscle memory (the reverse thankfully is true!!) which in MY case sends my appetite through the roof;

) Not knowing how to bulk cleanly;

) Not knowing basic Nutrition - ie not only ignorant of the role of Proteins/Carbs/Fats, but thinking all fats are bad, all carbs make you fat, etc;

) Not knowing how to store food for lunchtime at the office, and instead reaching out after a stressful morning for comfort food (ie 1500 cals in one frickken meal!)
) Insufficiently disciplined and too distracted to count calories ;

) Resorting to getting blotto every Friday/Saturday night to feel some happiness, however temporary, as despite have big thick muscles which I thought the ladies loved, I never had a date / female gaze etc due to being obese - and you can guess how THAT made me even LESS dateable!! ;

…..you get the idea.

What got MY high weight and bad attitudes to plateau, and start going the other side? I got this kick-ass contract in May that put a GOOD amount of money in the bank. Rode that a few months, although I put on a little weight due to the town it was in being famous for amazing curries, came back and cleaned EVERYTHING up. Plus I decided to leave my crappy corner of IT which has been sliding for 20 years, to much nicer pastures within. So I'd say ditching the job stress did it for me, BUT without knowing NOW how to cook smart, train smart, refrigerate/containerize smart etc how to weaponise the various diet hacks ie a HUGE bowl of steamed veggies lightly coated with Olive/Cod Liver Oil that passed off as dinner long enough for me to get to bed (and wake up starving LOL!!), without all those factors being in place I wouldn't be pulling it off now.

Damn that was a ramble!! Ok over to you, what single factor came last for you?

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Am I losing at a good pace?

Okay, so I should probably pre-face this with I know that there isn't a "one size fits all" for weight loss and you really just need to do whatever works for you. The only things I can do to improve right now would be eating better food and exercising more because I couldn't possibly go lower on calories.

I started losing weight on January 15th at 295 lbs. As of this Wednesday (October 23rd) I weigh 229 lbs. That puts me at 66 lbs lost over 281 days or 40.14 weeks. That makes me average weight loss roughly ~1.64 lbs per week.

Im just wondering if this is a good pace? I guess I get paranoid reading different success stories and thinking I'm doing something wrong. I've seen people losing 100+ lbs in a year or less, one person even lost 200 lbs in a year. I've also seen the opposite where people have lost 100 lbs but over 3 years.

Ultimately I do want to get to the end goal sooner rather than later, but I want to do it properly, make it stick. I also want to do it as safely as possible. Is my current pace okay? Is it too fast? Is it too slow?

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