Thursday, February 27, 2020

Finally taking the steps!

I created an account just so I can have somewhere that I feel like I'm held accountable. I gained a lot of weight when I started college and I never quite lost it all. I have depression and pretty bad body image issues but I finally feel like taking care of my body and being healthy in my weight loss techniques! It's a small victory because I finally love myself enough to realize that I am effectively bullying myself.

So far I've lost 15 pounds from my starting weight of 170lb. I want to get within the healthy range for my height (5'4). I plan to join the gym soon so I can really focus during my workouts.

Here's to an exciting new journey!

And if anyone reads this, I hope you reach your goals and that you're happy- you deserve it.

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It's not a race, it's a marathon.

I was expressing my frustrations to my dad last night, wherein I had seemingly gained two pounds out of nowhere over the course of two days when I was staying within my calorie goals. And within some other health and weight loss advice (my dad has made the trek from obese to fit himself) he mentioned, "and remember, it's not a race, it's a marathon".

It's so easy to get frustrated and give up when we don't see results as fast as we want to. We want to be at our goal weights within months after starting, and for some it's possible! But for others like me, who have to shed the weight of an entire human being to get to my ultimate goal weight, it'll take time. And time. And time. And a little more time. Even if I did it perfectly, and shed two pounds every single week, it will still take me nearly two years. But that's okay!

We should try to balance our focuses, between the scale and our well-beings. If you focus too much on the scale, you might get discouraged. What matters most is that you're trying, even if you gain a little bit. You keep on trying. Because remember:

It's not a race. It's a marathon.

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It feels like no one has noticed

Today I hit a confirmed total loss of 40lbs (266>225.6) after 11 months of hard work. I’m sure I’ve lost more, but I didn’t weight myself until 2 months into the journey. But to be honest, I don’t feel like I’ve lost weight. All my cloths fit the same, or at least feel like they fit the same. Which I know is probably because my entire wardrobe is athlesure. And NO ONE has made any comment about my weight loss, not even the ones who know, and it’s starting to get discouraging. But at the same time I know I’m not doing this for them, I’m doing it for myself, and I feel more confident, my romantic relationship has gotten better, and I know my mental health has improved. But it would be really nice if for once I got a unsolicited complement about my hard work. - just wanted to express my feelings -

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I am losing weight but am I doing it right?

Male/17/6’3 I started some time in December I started at 275 lbs I have lost 23 lbs I’m at 252 now my goal is 220 then see where to go from there. I’m happy with results but just wondering am I doing it right? I eat the same thing everyday like clock work almond cereal with almond milk for breakfast throughout the day at school I eat a string cheese, 1 apple, 1 banana, and a ham sandwich just bread and ham. For dinner I eat 1 chicken breast mash potatoes and broccoli. It sums up around 1300 calories probably a little more. For my exercise I go to the gym mon - fri for 45 mins. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are cardio and push ups and other body weight stuff and Tuesday and Thursday are body weight and weight lifting workout. The main thing I’m wondering about is my diet part of the weight loss journey is it ok to eat the same thing everyday and is it enough calories for someone my size? (No problems so far at this calorie intake I feel like a new person already)

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Protect Your Energy

As I have lost weight, I have learned that you have to protect your energy from negative influences, both internally and externally. This past year, I lost 48lbs so I have just 27-30lbs left and it’s been a growing experience.

From an internal perspective, you need to be kind to yourself as you lose weight. It likely took you a couple of years to put on the weight, so it will take at least a couple of months to get it off. Remember that the average weight loss is 0.5-2lbs a week. In my case, I lost the 35lbs I put on over 3.5yrs in college and then some. I haven’t been this small since my sophomore or junior year of high school! Being hard on yourself as you lose weight will be counterproductive. It’s hard but you need to be patient because consistency will get the weight off and there is no need to hate yourself along the way.

I only learned about the external perspective recently. I had seen many posts on here about being told you’re getting “too skinny” as you get close to your goal. Luckily I haven’t experienced this irl but I’m in a few weight loss groups on Facebook for motivation. I mainly lurk with the occasional progress pic but I’d gotten positive feedback on those so I was excited to share an entire year of progress... but it didn’t go as well as I thought it would. There were many comments questioning how I could possibly have 30 more pounds to lose. Some were polite I suppose, just wondering if it was possible for me to lose that much weight and still be healthy. But there were a lot of body shaming comments saying I’d be “skin and bones” if I lost any more weight.

All the people who commented negatively on me wanting to lose more weight were just going off of a picture and a number. My caption for the post just said that I lost 48lbs in a year and that I wanted to lose 30 more. It did not mention anything about my height, weight, BMI or personal goals. They didn’t know that I had just hit 127lbs and that I am 5ft, so I am barely in the “normal” BMI range for my height (97-127lbs). They also didn’t know that 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with insulin resistance at 140lbs. So one of my weight loss goals has been to get down to 120lbs to be far enough away from 140lbs and in the normal BMI range.

They also weren’t aware of my final goal to have a flat stomach and a toned body. Initially, I wanted to lose any amount of weight since I hadn’t been able to lose weight in the past. As I saw that I could actually lose weight, I finally had the confidence to work towards having the body I had always dreamed of. So my goal is to get down to the bottom end of my normal BMI range so I have as little fat as possible before I start lifting weights and recomposition to sculpt my body. Won't be worried if I gain muscle weight.

So just remember to protect your energy as you go through this journey. It is as much an emotional journey as it is a physical one. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with positivity. I left the group with the most nasty comments and have since stuck to a more positive FB group as well as this sub. I have also leaned on my friends during this journey as well. Find what works for you and find people/commmunities who support your goals.

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One of my friends encouraged me to share my progress

progress picture

So a little bit of backstory about my weight loss/fitness journey. I used to be a fairly active kid in middle school and high school, but when I got to post secondary I went through quite a bit of personal stuff and things kind of snowballed for me from a stress standpoint. I also had a persistent health issue that caused me to undergo a few surgeries ( so much fun lol). Between going to class, studying, working part time, and family/friends, I kinda stopped taking care of myself for awhile and I gained a considerable amount of weight as a result. I didn’t really notice it at the time, but I think that’s maybe the case for most people? I mean, nobody ever plans on becoming overweight so it’s hard to see what’s happening to you in the moment, but looking back I can see that I was making some pretty poor decisions when it came to my overall health.

Fast forward to this past summer, where I was done school and working full time. I met someone who became a really important friend and person in my life, and she showed me a lot love and trust at a time when I really needed it. Ever since that day, July 7 2019, I’ve made a conscious effort to get back in shape. I realized that if this person was willing to show me love when I didn’t really feel like I deserved it, then I needed to show myself some self love and just begin taking care of myself more mentally and physically.

Starting off was a bit easier than I thought it would be, and the key for me was just changing my overall mindset (corny as that might sound). In one of my favourite tv shows Community, there’s a scene where one of the characters Jeff Winger. gets told his cholesterol is a little high despite being in amazing shape, and Winger cries out in shock “but I treat my body like a temple!”. I don’t know why but even though it’s partly a joke to highlight Jeff’s vanity, I started to see my body as an investment and wanted to treat it “like a temple”. I didn’t immediately turn to calorie counting, but I did focus on lowering my carb intake and eating more whole foods, especially lean protein and vegetables. I pretty much cut out rice and bread because the more research and reading I did they just seemed like empty calories to me, and I really wanted to eat calorie dense food that kept me full longer. I also started weighing myself religiously, sometimes multiple times a day, and that is something that I would not recommend. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with weighing yourself (I actually think it’s a good idea!), but I definitely got too focused on the numbers on the scale for a time when there was no need to be weighing myself that often. While the scale is an objective way of looking at things, it can still be fairly flawed and you’re more than just some numbers on a scale. After a bit, I started relying more on progress photos and seeing how my clothes were feeling more than the scale itself, although I still do weight myself about once a week, always at the same day at the same time. I also ended up getting Spotify so that I could enjoy my workouts (you’d be amazed how much you enjoy exercising when you’re jamming out to Jesse McCartney and The Fray lol). At the start I spent about 30 minutes on the elliptical 5-6 days a week and lifted some 15 lb dumbbells that I had. I also did alot of bodyweight exercises (plank, pushups, and squats being the main ones). Over time, I felt myself getting stronger and lighter on my feet. At a family dinner party on August 24, everyone was telling me how different I looked and congratulating me on my progress (I have a really supportive family that means the absolute world to me).

I put off joining an actual gym until September, partly because I thought I was doing fine as is but mostly because I was still a little self conscious. I eventually realized that if I was going to show myself some self love, it didn’t really matter what some stranger thought of me when I was running or squatting or doing lat pulldowns or any other hilarious looking thing you can do in the gym. The cool thing about the gym is that everyone in there was once a beginner too, so you shouldn’t feel like you’re being judged (and if you are, oh well 🤷‍♀️ :)). Anyways, the first couple weeks I spent just getting comfortable at the gym, learning how to use some of the equipment, talking to the staff and trainers, joining some drop in classes (tried yoga for the first time and fell in love) etc. Since then, I’ve ramped things up and have been focusing more on weightlifting, both with compound exercises (deadlifts, squats, bench press, etc.) and isolation work. I enjoy how much it kicks my butt lol, it’s been a blast. The biggest goal now for me is to continue treating my body well by eating right, getting stronger and building muscle, and trying to burn off some of my more stubborn fat.

I ran into one of my old highschool friends at the gym last night, and he said he didn’t recognize me at first. He suggested letting everyone know what how much progress I’ve made, and while I don’t think I’ll ever really be ready for something like that with people I know, I did just want to post this somewhat anonymously to share my progress and let anyone who is struggling right now that as long as you believe in yourself and stay patient you’ll see a difference in time. This first picture is from October only because I switched phones and lost all my previous progress photos lol. Thank you very much for reading this, I wish you all the best with your weight loss and fitness goals. Have faith in yourself, don’t get discouraged, stay positive, celebrate your victories, and please never stop loving yourself.

Nowadays, the friend who helped kickstart this change in me isn’t really a part of my life anymore, but I’ll be forever grateful for the fact that she came into my life, believed in me, and helped me find myself again. Thanks dingus, hate ya :).

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People always telling me I haven’t gained weight (when I have) and that there’s no need for me to work out because I don’t “look fat” - a rant.

I’m 29 years old, 153cm tall and weigh about 56kg. Until about 2 years ago, I was always a pretty active person who never even thought about weight loss or calorie counting. Average weight back then was 49kg. Then through a combination of depression & sitting around a lot, my weight slowly crept up.

I didn’t notice for quite a while, because I never really weighed myself. But then my jeans stopped fitting and I jumped up 1-2 clothes sizes. The thing is: people INSIST that they haven’t noticed any weight gain at all and that I’m making it up. This is not just one person but multiple friends and family. I have put on weight in very specific areas, mainly tummy and hips. I’ve always had a bit of a pot belly (thanks, genetics!), but now it’s just become flabby and muffin tops whatever trousers I wear.

10 days ago I started my health/fitness journey. I saved up and treated myself to a personal trainer (8 sessions) and absolutely LOVE it. I’ve made some major lifestyle changes and I’m actually focusing on weight lifting and muscle gain and a bit of fat loss, rather than weight loss. While I am counting calories on MyFitnessPal, I’m mainly focusing on macros and I’m averaging around 1400-1800cal a day. I go to the gym 5x a week.

Today, my PT sent me the results of my body fat percentage and I’m at 35% body fat. It might sound weird, but that number has actually VALIDATED me. No one acknowledged my weight gain and people have been saying that I don’t need to go to the gym because I don’t “look fat”. But I’ve been feeling the extra fat and weight I’ve been carrying around. I remember calculating my body fat percentage years ago and I’m sure it was in the low twenties, so there HAS been a significant gain. I have it on paper now.

I guess my questions are:

Has anyone else experienced this denial from friends and relatives? Do you think it comes from a place of wanting to be kind, or is it a weird sense of jealousy because I’m actually putting in the work to lose fat and gain lean muscle? It’s just so baffling to me and it made me question my own reflection for years, even thinking I had some form of body dysmorphia.

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