Thursday, February 27, 2020

People always telling me I haven’t gained weight (when I have) and that there’s no need for me to work out because I don’t “look fat” - a rant.

I’m 29 years old, 153cm tall and weigh about 56kg. Until about 2 years ago, I was always a pretty active person who never even thought about weight loss or calorie counting. Average weight back then was 49kg. Then through a combination of depression & sitting around a lot, my weight slowly crept up.

I didn’t notice for quite a while, because I never really weighed myself. But then my jeans stopped fitting and I jumped up 1-2 clothes sizes. The thing is: people INSIST that they haven’t noticed any weight gain at all and that I’m making it up. This is not just one person but multiple friends and family. I have put on weight in very specific areas, mainly tummy and hips. I’ve always had a bit of a pot belly (thanks, genetics!), but now it’s just become flabby and muffin tops whatever trousers I wear.

10 days ago I started my health/fitness journey. I saved up and treated myself to a personal trainer (8 sessions) and absolutely LOVE it. I’ve made some major lifestyle changes and I’m actually focusing on weight lifting and muscle gain and a bit of fat loss, rather than weight loss. While I am counting calories on MyFitnessPal, I’m mainly focusing on macros and I’m averaging around 1400-1800cal a day. I go to the gym 5x a week.

Today, my PT sent me the results of my body fat percentage and I’m at 35% body fat. It might sound weird, but that number has actually VALIDATED me. No one acknowledged my weight gain and people have been saying that I don’t need to go to the gym because I don’t “look fat”. But I’ve been feeling the extra fat and weight I’ve been carrying around. I remember calculating my body fat percentage years ago and I’m sure it was in the low twenties, so there HAS been a significant gain. I have it on paper now.

I guess my questions are:

Has anyone else experienced this denial from friends and relatives? Do you think it comes from a place of wanting to be kind, or is it a weird sense of jealousy because I’m actually putting in the work to lose fat and gain lean muscle? It’s just so baffling to me and it made me question my own reflection for years, even thinking I had some form of body dysmorphia.

submitted by /u/franichan
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