Why does it feel like nothing? At my starting weight, losing 50 pounds, which would have completely transformed another person, I feel like makes me look barely different. Like, my face is definitely thinner, and my clothes are fitting better, but I also can’t help but feel like I haven’t actually done anything that impressive. I hate how long I still have to go before I hit my goal weight, especially because at my current calorie goal (1700 a day to hopefully stay at losing 2 pounds a week), I’ve been having so much trouble meeting the goal.
I hate myself for putting me in this situation. All that food really wasn’t worth it. But also, sometimes, I miss getting to eat whatever I want without thinking about it.
I hate how much leftover skin I’m probably going to have when I’m done. I’m doing this mostly for my health, and I love how I can already tell that I’m moving better, but I’ve always wanted to feel attractive. I hate that when all of this is done, I’m probably going to be even uglier than before.
I just, I don’t know. People in my life are congratulating me but I don’t really feel proud. Instead just focused on where I need to end up. I feel like weight loss is the only thing I have going on right now/the only place where I’m succeeding and when I don’t lose at a good enough pace I start feeling nervous/bad about myself because I want it so bad. When I don’t get enough steps, too, as that’s really my only form of exercise right now.
Which brings me to my last point. I’m kind of doing this all alone. I’m not great at finding out my TDEE, and I have a general sense of how many calories my body needs to run every day because of the InBody scan, but I don’t know exactly how to figure out what exact calorie amount I need to be eating to stay in a 1,000 calorie deficit. I spend all of my time either sick because I haven’t eaten or sick because I fill up way too quickly and my body’s still hungry.
Overall it’s been a lot of up and down, where I notice the scale go down or something gets easier or something fits again, and I’m over the moon. But then overall it just being a very scary/negative experience. When I read other people’s posts, I see the leftover skin fears, but not really anything else that I’ve touched on.
Y’guys know what I’m talking about?
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