Before/After https://imgur.com/F7tJXjI
Hello r/loseit!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been such a long time lurker of this sub! When I first tried losing weight a few years ago, I was a little more active with commenting & posting, but for some reason this time around I kept myself from getting active here. I'm not sure why! I guess at first I just wasn't sure yet if this would be the attempt that sticks. After a while I started to realize and know beyond any doubt this IS the attempt. I'll fall off the bull and have even just recently, but falling down is life. Just like getting back up is. To fail isn't to experience failure, to fail is to stop trying.
ANYWAY, I'm so freaking EXCITED you have no idea to be posting this. In fact, I think I was maybe over excited in a weird, weird way. I realized I lost 100LB on March 15th, but I just couldn't really wrap my head around it. It was like real, but it just hadn't hit me yet, I was in shock. It wasn't until I hit up the Las Vegas Strip the other night to take photos of how empty it is that I got in front of a building with one of those like mirror glass panels and took a selfie of my body again that I was like, "Wow, this is real."
Well, I'm three paragraphs in and I haven't given you the juicy details I'm sure you want! In May of 2019, I weighed 343 pounds and fatter than Choji. I hated myself, my life and I was afraid to interact with people. I elected for isolation for a long time. For a very long time. This has been a crazy, wacky, wild journey but I'm not afraid of people anymore. I love people! For the most part, we're all pretty freaking great. At 239 pounds now, I no longer feel like when I interact with someone that I am less than them. I feel equal to the people I interact with now. Don't get me started on dating, the weight loss has literally changed my life in every possible way in that arena. No, that isn't right. I know it has helped tremendously, but loving myself and being kind to myself has helped me more. I just wouldn't have gotten to this point of loving myself without the weight loss.
The most common question I get is "Ceezy, how'd you do it!?"
I don't think how I did it matters as much as why. By that I only mean, I can tell you how I limit myself to 1500 calories a day and focus on hitting as close to 130g of protein within that 1500 cal window. We can talk about how I wake up at 4AM to hit the gym to lift weights and jog. I can give you my all time #1 go to recipe for Taco Turkey Protein Blast as I call it. But none of that matters if you don't have a solid WHY! I can't give that to someone, I wish I could, but that has to come from in YOU. For me, I ate less and did more things because I fucking HATED myself and the brutal honest truth is that I (and I'm so thankful for this part) didn't have the constitution necessary to just make an all red Bob Ross painting on my bedroom wall with my head. I thought about it a lot, but I had to come to the conclusion myself that if I hate my life so much that I wanna die but I'm too scared to die, then I have to do and be better. I hit Rock Bottom, and not the fun kind with Dwayne Johnson. So in May 2019, I decided something has to change. This is no life. So I started slow, one step at a time - literally, by walking. 1 mile a day at first, then 2, 3 and I got to where I was walking 4-5 miles every day. By July I was like 320ish? Maybe less! Fat just MELTS when you've got a lot of it. I felt like I could hit the gym at that point, so I did. I'd get tired on the treadmill or elliptical or hit my last rep in a set and start to get tired. I'd think "I'm so worn right now, I just wanna stop." but then I'd remember in Jr High when I asked a girl out in gym on a dare in front of everyone and she said, "Ew, no, you're too fat."
I'd think of all the times a stranger would feel comfortable calling me "Big man/Big guy/Big Boss or any variation with 'Big' at the front.
I'd remind myself that nothing I'm feeling in that moment - the exhaustion, any soreness... NONE OF THAT could compare to the pain I endured being so miserably lonely living in my dad's basement.
Then I discovered the Joe Rogan podcast and what he was saying just made sense. Exercise and eating healthy isn't a punishment. It isn't a chore. I'm doing me and future me - he's a swell dude btw - a favor! I wake up before Jesus and at the time the crackheads in Vegas start zombie shuffling the streets to work out because I LOVE myself and I know I'm doing myself a kindness. I know in 3 months or 6 months or a year I'll be so happy that I did it. I've NEVER once in my life regretted going to the gym, but I have regretted EVERY SINGLE TIME I slacked and didn't go.
If you're just starting on your journey or considering, I genuinely hope you hop on and experience the positive changes for yourself. I can sit crisscross applesauce in my office chair, I can buckle myself with one hand, I'm not afraid or sketched out by questionable structural integrity of cheap chairs, I HAVE A FREAKIN BEARD NOW. Thought I couldn't grow one my WHOLE life and was stuck with a shitty, patchy, thin beard. It was just a real estate issue! Less face, more beard. Problem solved. I used to think I have a small dick. Nah man! I was just so fat and gluttonous my body was trying to eat my own sausage. Call me shallow, but getting my beard to fully connect and finally being rid of this pelvis pouch of fat are some of my biggest motivators to keep it going now lol. Can pretty much guarantee you'll experience the same thing! I genuinely hope you can read this and feel inspired to lose weight, I really, really do. I know the pain of a life without confidence and love for yourself. Weight loss won't cure all of it, but it will definitely set you up to be in a position to where you can develop both for yourself.
So, you must define your WHY and from there find whatever work out regiment and diet works for you. I promise you the HOW you do it will matter far less than the WHY. Your WHY is going to be the anchor of it all. Your WHY will inform and influence how you proceed with the HOW and be what keeps you experimenting with the different HOWS until you find your own version that works. I could write for hours about this but I'm definitely at a TL;DR point lmao. I'll stop here.
YOU GOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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