hi, i’m new to reddit and using my friends account bc she is the only one who knows about this. if this the right page for this i’m sorry. this is not my account for obvious reasons. I 20f have been dating my bf 25m for 2 years now and over the time he’s put on 100ish pounds and went from an average guy to obese. I (just want to make it clear im not shaming anybody for what they look like, i dont judge anyone for their size i used to have an ED and i now how hard it can be to diet/ make lifestyle changes so no judgment here.) But my bf does not have an ED, I’m a student athlete and my bf was fairly active when i met him, nothing crazy just gym 5x a week and we’d go for hikes together. But after about a year of dating my BF stopped having interest in going to the gym and has slowly put on at least 100 pounds in a very rapid amount of time.
We have never lived together so i can’t speak to his eating habits, when we go out to eat or have a meal together he usually finishes a very large helping but im not gonna make a judgement there. But i’ve expressed concern about his health (i’ve never dealt with weight gain and i’ve always been thin so tbh i don’t how much weight is normal to put on but 100 in a year sounds excessive to me) and asked if he’s been to a doctor but he brushed it off and said he can lose it whenever. I didn’t care at first, i love my bf because of him not because of his looks but once he got to 220ish i stopped being attracted to him. I know it sounds terrible, but i would look at him and feel literally nothing, I still had sex with him when he wanted to but to be blunt it’s physically painful to have him on top of me now, so i started turning him down for a few months and i can tell it’s getting to him- he’s kinda relentless about asking now (he never makes me feel bad about saying no, but he asks for sex or head at least 3x a day) I’ve suggested going to the gym- he’s not interested, i’ve brought up hiking again- he doesn’t want to do it. At this point he’s pushing 300 and it’s starting to effect his mobility, please believe me when i say i’m not trying to be cruel in saying this but he told me he literally can’t wipe his own ass anymore. He installed bidet in apartment and I had to get one in mine- i feel horrible admitting that but once that happened i honestly got disgusted by him, i still love his personality so much but he’s just so big it’s just plain unhygienic. I feel terrible, I’ve brought up working out, tried to cook healthy for him even asked if he’d been to a doctor and if he’s mentally well, he’s fine- he sees his friends has hobbies laughs all the time he just genuinely doesn’t seem to mind his gain.
I really don’t know what to do, i love him but i’m not sure if i can stay with someone I have 0 attraction to, as vain and selfish as that makes me. I’m posting here because I don’t have the insight about weight gain and obesity to know how to approach this topic sensitively. If i were in his shoes i’d be feeling pretty shitty so the last thing I want to do is make him feel worse. I’m not coming here out of judgement for the overweight but any tips on how to approach asking him to consider losing weight would be super helpful. Thank you for any advice in advance and if anything in the post is mean or fat-phobic please let me know so i can learn and grow- it 100% not my intention.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/x0EUpTj
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