Wednesday, January 9, 2019

I (33 F) lost 15 pounds on weight watchers during the holidays!

Hey y’all! First time long time!

In November, my work offered an opportunity to commit to weight watchers for 12 weeks and they would pay for it. I used to be super skinny but over the years, I gained weight because I never really learned how to eat well throughout my life. And I reeeeally don’t like vegetables and have a slight fear about them (any tips?)

I’m happy to report that through my tracking and not drinking/eating fried foods, has netted me a list of 15 pounds since 11/28 and hit the “onederland”.

I’m just really proud of this achievement because I always doubted and blamed myself. I have incredibly low self esteem and I finally just said fuck it, let’s do this. It’s been really successful for me. It might not be for all, but it’s working for this poor eating fast food alcoholic junkie!

I know everyone says, “if I can do it, you can do it too!” That never really clicked with me. I’m not like anyone, I can only be me. And for me, weight watchers has totally been working. The meetings are what helps me be accountable and sort of compete with my coworkers.

Has anyone done weight watchers that are super picky eaters like me? Anyone else that wants to help me keep accountable? MFP didn’t work for me because I don’t think in those terms. WW makes it easier for me to understand and visualize.

Really hoping for more weight loss wins!!!

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On Weight Loss and Mental Health

TLDR; Fixing my brain helped me fix my body

I've been struggling with weight loss my entire life and have grown accustomed to the excuse that I can't lose weight because I'm "big boned" and "genetics". We all know that's horseshit, no one is supposed to be 6' tall and 290lbs naturally.

Recently, after starting a new job with great health benefits, I took the step of seeing a psychiatrist. I knew that I struggled with my mental health, but I didn't realize until several sessions in how deeply and profoundly my poor mental health was affecting all facets of my life.

I was diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, as well as moderate to severe depression. After a few months of trying lifestyle changes (ie talking with close friends more, eating well, and exercising), I still found myself in a dark place mentally. I was hesitant about starting medication, but eventually accepted that a lot of my mental struggles were due to a chemical imbalance in my brain, not because of "lack of willpower".

I can say with 100% certainty that, after starting an SSRI antidepressant regimine, my life has significantly improved in an amazing way. I no longer binge junk food to feel better and lie in bed all day, I'm actually capable of stopping mid meal because I'm full. Also, I WANT to exercise now, I'm craving it.

When your brain is capable of creating the chemicals it needs to run smoothly, you don't need to fill the void with junk food and self pity. I eat to fuel, and I exercise to feel good because I care about myself.

I'm not sure how many of you can relate, but my weight loss journey didn't truly begin until I took care of my mental health. To fix my outside, I needed to fix my inside.

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Even after losing 70+ lbs I still feel “fat” sometimes, then I look at my before pics! [NSFW]

Before and After

I’ve been maintaining my weight loss for the past couple months. I was 220 lbs and now I’m 147- 150 lbs. I decided I want to lose around 15 more lbs and work on gaining muscle as well this year.

I remember by the end of summer feeling so thin and really noticing my weight loss. I was definitely feeling more confident. I think maybe now I am kind of over the “newness” of my new body or something.

I’ve been feeling kind of how I felt when I was over weight. And sometimes I even feel like I look like my larger self. I know that sounds weird but I spent so many years in my fat body that I think it’s going to be an adjustment to accept how I am now. Does anyone else feel this way?

So anyway, I decided to go through my pics I took when I first started my weight loss journey. I actually cried at one horrible photo that I’m too embarrassed to share here that actually kicked my butt into gear and started all this. But going through them really put it all into perspective. I am not that big girl I once was. I actually have a waist now! I look different and I should be proud.

So I just thought I’d share this to not only see if anyone can relate but to also remind you to take before pics/progress pics. It really helps prove to your brain that you have indeed changed.

I’m thankful to this sub and all the other health and weight loss subs that have helped me along the way. :)

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The BEST of the Year Races, Running and Recipes!

Hello! How are you? I tried to get a lil off the grid over the holidays so I didn’t check in with Sasha Medea or read blogs or respond to text messages (sorry Mom). But I’m BACK! And I want to feel like I’m back with running too so I’m thinking about my goals for this year. I have a few races on the calendar so far and need to figure out GOAL RACES next. But before we talk about new year, new goals… Let’s run down the BEST parts of last year.

The best running and food of the year (427x640)

Here’s a round up of my favorite runs, races and recipes from last year. This is my favorite food or recipes, running highlights and life updates that I want to share and discuss.

(Note: I wrote the post with everything and realized it’s super long. So this is just the best running updates – the food and fun and life updates are coming next)

Run Eat Repeat podcast 2

RUNNING

I don’t really keep track of my mileage, but I do wear a running GPS watch and that tracks it for me. So I looked up my mileage for the whole year and was surprised that I ran so much. I feel like I had a really ‘off’ year. I think when I first went through my separation and eventual divorce I was running and walking a lot. It was aimless and a lot of junk miles, but I just would go out and do some sorta run 6 days of the week.

But this year I transitioned to a different step in the grieving process and just felt unmotivated, unorganized and uninspired. A lot of un-words! So I felt like I ran a lot less. I only did 1 marathon! That’s SHOCKING to me. Ever since I ran my 1st marathon I’ve run several each year! One year I ran 9 marathons!

Right before the Revel Big Bear Marathon I realized I hadn’t run a full in over a year – since the Boston Marathon!!

And that mind F**ked me big time. It made me unsure of my running abilities and fitness. And more importantly, it made me question… Who am I? What am I even doing?

That’s not me trying to be dramatic –  the timing of my separation and some of the things I was told at that time… tied in directly with running. So I just focused on getting through the Boston Marathon without having a public breakdown. After that I didn’t have any running or racing goals because I felt like what I was working towards was unimportant and irrelevant. I stopped working towards a PR in the marathon and potential BQ. It felt sad and pointless. I felt sad and pointless? Both??

I didn’t realize that I kind of fell off the wagon with running until right before Revel Big Bear. I think I was probably stuck in some combination of grief and anxiety for a big chunk of time. Looking back now – I really haven’t been myself for a long time.

Luckily, I kept running because I love it. It’s fun and a good way to get some good endorphins, think, cry, listen to podcasts, stay in shape…

So yeah, this year I didn’t accomplish any major running goals. But I survived, didn’t take up any super self-destructive habits, didn’t lose faith, tried to become a better person and got through several challenges – they just happened to be adult stuff not running stuff.

Moving on –  instead of focusing on what I didn’t do – let’s talk about what I did…

I did run several half marathons, 1 full marathon and a lot of miles! (Randomly, my best half marathon isn’t recorded on the Garmin Connect calendar? There’s no mileage recorded at all for that weekend so I actually ran more than the record shows! Boom.)

 

mileage total for 1 year

miles run and calories burned total (640x640)

Miles I ran last year: 2,536*

Calories I burned: 272,234

Calories I ate: +8,986,246,544

*Note: At least 1 race isn’t recorded in this total but there may be more. I’m not concerned enough about it to try and go back and check to see other days where I know I ran but the calendar doesn’t show it. This is a good estimate and if anything I’ve run more and not less so I don’t feel like I’m cheating myself on this.

Miles and calorie count runner totals (1) (640x640)

Focus on what YOU did not what you failed to do. Then, focus on what you want to do next.

Stay positive. Give yourself credit for every tiny victory.

Repeat.

 

lexus lace up Irvine half marathon discount

Overall I’m just super grateful for so many things. That’s what I want to focus on as I look back on last year’s running.

I’m grateful for…

The miles I ran.

You! Thank you for following along. I really like you.

My body. I didn’t get injured this year!

Brooks Running Shoes. I put so many miles on them!

My family and friend. I’m able to do this because they’ve always supported me.

My education. If not my ability to create RunEatRepeat.com and RER on social media – I wouldn’t be able to do this.

Runners on Instagram and Facebook – the running community is awesome! Runners are the best.

California. The weather and all the races make it a lot easier than it would be other places.

This time. I’m glad I live in a time and place where it’s safe, normal, accepted, etc to be a runner.

I’m just super grateful for running and Run Eat Repeat and all the opportunities I have because of it. I’m very blessed.

 

Let’s move on to the highlights and recaps!!

I put together a list of my favorite running themed posts from last year. There are some race recaps, tips and training plan posts below. Let me know if you have any questions. I’m here to help.

Monica Olivas bio 1

 Best Runs, Races and Running posts of the Year:

Half Marathon Training Plan for new or returning runners – check out this newbie half marathon training plan for your first 13.1 miler.

Surf City Half Marathon recap with Steve – my best race of the year! I pushed myself and ran fast and had fun running with Coach Steve.

Run Eat Repeat race photo

PCRF Half Marathon Irvine, CA – Local half marathon that raises money for the Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation 

OC Half Marathon race recap – I don’t even remember this one! That’s why I have this blog – to be my memory.

My favorite running shorts – probably one of the most asked questions about running and running gear I always get!

The Best Running shorts podcast 1

The one marathon I ran this year – Revel Big Bear Marathon Recap. Thank God for SkinnyRunner and you for sticking with me as I tried to get back on the wagon.

Revel Marathon Big Bear Race Results podcast blog results run

Half Marathon Training Plan – 10 weeks long training plan for a half marathon race.

Las Vegas Half Marathon Race Recap – The race known as ‘Strip at Night’ is a blast!

What I are before the Las Vegas Half Marathon – it’s a race with a late start so it can be hard to time up fuel.

What I ate before the Half Marathon Las Vegas #StripAtNight (800x450)

Lexus Lace Up Race Series – Riverside Half Marathon recap and challenge. Love this race series! This was the grand finale!!

Lexus Lace Up Half Marathon irvine 13 (800x782)

And now for my Running Goals for This Year…

1. Run 1 dress rehearsal marathon, 1 fun marathon (I’m doing one out of the country!!) and 1 goal marathon.

2. Figure out a long term running plan to stay in half marathon shape and also spend time on strength and cross-training.

3. … I’m not sure?? Those might be fine for me, but I’m open to finding another goal.

What are your goals?

Oh, and because I love ‘em… here are some funny New Year’s Resolutions memes I found like looking for inspiration on my goal setting.

new years resolutions fun

 

new years resolution list

new year twitter

dog resolutions

new year fun

new year res

 

new years resolution funny

Question: What was your BEST Running accomplishment or moment of last year?

Me: I think running over 2500 miles last year is the thing I’m most proud of! And also I’m glad I ran a marathon last year and it was really great to be able to run with SR again!!

If you’re not sure about your running goals – check out the How to Plan Your Race Calendar post for some tips on planning!

 

The post The BEST of the Year Races, Running and Recipes! appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.



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Perfect BMI versus perfectly happy?

This is an advice post, I hope no one minds but I worry about the status of my relationship due to my weight loss. I think my boyfriend is crossing the line in supporting me.

I lost 30 pounds when I met my boyfriend, and he was insanely supportive as I lost another 70. I am now at the low end of overweight in my BMI and have been struggling with the last 20 pounds. But I am happy, truly, truly happy. I have never been this content or happy with my body. My boyfriend however, gently reminds me constantly that I still have more to lose. To be fair, he is as kind and gentle as possible, but it's almost like he is pushing me for the sake of his own vanity in having an attractive girlfriend? I am starting to think this because he has always talked about how proud he is of me, and how hot ive become. That he knew when we first got together I would turn into a hottie. I have not dated many guys prior to him, because of my self esteem issues, so he always jokes he got to get the girl with ugly duckling syndrome. Other comments include: "Do more squats, i can't wait to see you with a tight cute ass" --- "If you eat that chocolate you won't be able to wear that tiny black dress I love."

I really believe he loves me, but I'm happy. Ive tried telling him I don't need as much support but how shitty is it to ask your S.O to stop being supportive? Also, my argument really holds no water because I'm still technically overweight so I am not at the most healthy I could be.

I wouldn't mind losing the weight to be in a healthy BMI, but I am already so much further than I ever thought I would be. Any advice on how to balance this?

(Edit to fix a mistake in explaining weightloss)

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How do you focus on weight loss when you already like how you look?

Hear me out. I'm a big woman, 5'8" and about 300lbs (I haven't had access to a scale in a while). I legitimately like my body. My husband loves my body. I'm a confident person. In my teenage years I was full of self-hatred and horribly insecure, I've overcome that and I'm a much happier person for it. I got married in September and I was a fat bride without a care in the world! I was happy and I felt beautiful, and I look at those pictures and smile.

But I know that this weight isn't healthy for me. I want to have kids in a few years and my size can complicate things. My ankles start to hurt after a short time when walking or standing. I get winded from walking up one flight of stairs. And there's other things, like having a hard time finding clothes that fit nicely (and then paying a fortune for them). Travelling is difficult because I'm uncomfortably shoved into seats I'm too big for.

I certainly have my reasons for wanting to lose weight that don't involve my appearance. My problem is that every time I attempt CICO I become fixated on how I look and suddenly I'm that miserable teenager again wanting to hide from the world. I think this mostly comes from weight loss circles online being focused on looks (of course). I see all the horrible things people say about their before pictures... Those look just like me. It gets me down. I want to be healthier but not at the cost of becoming sad and insecure again.

I guess what I'm looking for is any insight from people who are motivated to lose weight for reasons other than how they look. How do you keep a positive attitude about your body while actively trying to change it?

Sorry for the diary entry, I appreciate anyone who read it!

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Back at it after a difficult 2018.

In 2017 I finally got my shit together in May and lost the most weight I’ve lost in one stretch. I started at 242 and got down to 197. I lost my gallbladder in the process but kept going, my mantra at that point was “I lost an organ for this, I’m not stopping now”...in reality everyone in my family four generations back has had their gallbladder removed but it was good motivation.

Anyways I entered 2018 at 205, got down to 197 by the end of February. At that point my husband who had lost a few pounds along the journey even though he really didn’t need to started getting really thin. He of course was blaming the lack of junk food in the house because he couldn’t figure out what was happening. Then he started having constant diarrhea and losing all his energy. By March I was pretty sure he had cancer and finally got him to see a doctor in April. Turns out he has celiac, I was pretty excited he wasn’t dying. We have two absent minded teen/tween boys and I decided that I didn’t want to live my life on crumb patrol so our house would have to be fully gluten free.

I spent Easter weekend throwing out all the opened food in our kitchen and anything that wasn’t gluten free. Half of our kitchen equipment had to go too. I had to relearn to eat last year, figure out what food I actually liked, and it became pretty obvious that this was not the time to try to track. I stopped for the rest of the year. I ended up gaining a few pounds, gluten free is not the magic bullet for weight loss!

Anyways I’m now a year from when he started getting obviously sick and this morning am only 3 pounds from where I was a year ago, I pretty much pulled off a year of maintenance! I also know what I like to eat and know who to fit it all into CICO! I’m looking out at 2019 feeling pretty excited about finishing this journey:)

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