For context, I’ve been overweight most of my life but especially in adulthood. I’m 5’4” and haven’t been below 200lbs in about 4 years. My weight has fluctuated between 200-206 for the most part over the last few years, with a few points of hitting 210+.
I found out I was pregnant with my first in November of 2022 and by the time I delivered my baby, I weighed 236lbs. I dropped back down to 206 by my 5 week postpartum checkup, then shot back up to 220 by mid November 2023. I’ve been working my butt off to get back down to where I started, and then to get to an even lower weight. My current goal is 180lbs but long term, I would love to get down to 160 or lower.
I’m now down to 192.2 as of today which I’m very proud of and I’m still working to hit my goal of 180. But the drastic changes in weight have left me almost feeling worse than before about how I look. My skin is sagging on my belly, my boobs are completely deflated, my jawline is in a weird space of “not quite fat but definitely not defined.” I don’t recognize myself anymore in both a really good way and a really bad way. I love how I look in clothes, but naked or in a swimsuit is definitely not good in my opinion.
It’s so discouraging to have made so much progress on the scale and even losing a few pant sizes, but to still not like what I see in the mirror. I’m worried that the more weight I lose, the more I’ll hate what I see. I know the weight loss is so good for my physical health, and I know that this is necessary if I want to be around to watch my son grow up, to continue to grow my family, and to be able to grow old with my husband.
I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else hated what they saw in the middle of their weight loss journey but ended up at least mostly liking what they saw in the mirror once they hit their goal.
It feels silly to complain about this since it’s all cosmetic, but I’m hoping at least one person understands what I’m going through and can offer some insight or encouragement. I’ll gladly take poor body image over the health problems that my weight has caused over the years. It would just be nice to potentially like what I look like naked down the line.
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