Hi everyone. I am a 17 y/o, 5’9, and weigh 175 lbs. For my whole life, I have been “chubby” and have had a belly that overhangs. My fat always went there first. I always wanted to lose it, but as a kid I just listened to my doctor and parents who urged me to exercise and skip on the dessert more.
Anyway, by high school, it was still there. And I wanted to put my weight loss in my own hands. Starting freshman year, I did lots of research and watched lots of videos regarding weight loss. I learned about CICO, Ketogenic Diet, IIFYM, and all the other methods out there.
From freshman year up until now, I have tried to lose my belly too many times to count and have failed. Pathetically. I’ve had 4 years, and I still haven’t done it. It wasn’t until this year, my senior year of high school, that I realized that my failure of losing weight was rooted in a seriously unhealthy relationship with food.
Here’s what happens: I create a plan for myself, get motivated to lose weight. I start the first couple days of my journey super hard. Probably too hard. I eat very clean... and then I eventually break down. It might start with one cookie, one M&M, or even one chip. Something in my head just makes me say “Fck it and I blow all the progress I did.
At this point, I end up frustrated and demotivated. The next couple days, I end up eating 4,000 calories a day, not caring at all what is going into my mouth. Maybe even more than 4,000. Who knows. I find myself looking for food even when I’m not hungry. Contrast this to when I go hardcore and eat 1,500-2,000 calories, I end up eating at about my maintenance for the week.
That’s right: this endless cycle just goes on and on. I cut down, give up, binge, and don’t move anywhere on the scale. I mean, at least I’m not gaining weight. But the stress this is putting on my mental state is too much. I hate food. I sometimes think to myself “I wish I didn’t have to feed my body. I’m sick of feeling hungry, then feeling sick, and doing it all over again next month.”
I really want to lose this belly at this point. It’s all I really have to lose (I would estimate my bf% is somewhere around 25%). I really need to fix how I look at food and I need to fix my binges... how can I do this? I know all the info I need to know about healthy eating at this point. I just can’t... do it... maybe I just need to try harder than I ever have before.
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