Please help me

My mother is really overweight. 5 foot 3 inches tall, 133kg. She has trouble breathing and walking, sleep apnea, feet swelling etc etc. I've noticed in the past few years her mood is very bad. She is always very angry and takes her anger out on me. I am her 19 year old son. I have tried to help her with diet and eating habits but Im lost right now. She has so many health issues right now and it's a bit hard seeing her go through this. Everyday is the same cycle. " il start my diet on Monday". Will do a "diet" for maybe 3days Max and then goes back to her old ways. My father ( parents are divorced) has told me she has been trying to lose weight ever since 24,and is now 50. I'm not overweight so I really don't understand how to help my mother from her perspective ( if that makes sense ). She can't get any surgery for weight loss, she is too heavy and doctors refuse to operate unless she loses weight first. They put her on meal replacement shakes in order to lose some weight for gastric bypass or sleeve I think it was. She couldn't stick to them and ended up even heavier than before. I work 2 jobs. Post office night shift 10pm - 7am then convenient store from 8:30am till 2pm. My mother is too unfit to work. As a result of corona virus, she is being paid twice her normal benefit. I don't know what benefit she is on, but she gets around 1k a fortnight. She usually orders the food or has me / my sister pick it up. Either that or she will go for a drive and get it herself. There have been times where I have refused to get her food and she will go crazy. She will turn nasty and throw insults at me. Everything. I do my own grocery shopping as I try to make it into the gym 4-5days a week if I'm not too tired after working . I make healthy meals but she refuses to try it. I'm at the point now where I don't know what to do. My mother is starting to have a very negative effect on my life. I don't have much time for anything besides work, gym and weekends to catch up with friends. Also it pisses me off having to pay my mothers rent as she blows most of her money on fast food. I love my mother to death, but I just CAN'T get her to stop. She even said herself that if she doesn't stop eating this way she will die soon. Confirmed by her doctors too. She is on the edge of getting diabetes "doctor said it's amazing she hasn't gotten diabetes yet". When she got rejected for the gastric bypass, I think she gave up inside. Please anyone I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice, any tips or help on what I can do to help my mother will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this and sorry if it's a bit all over the place.

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Tuesday, 18 August 2020? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

• Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!
• Loseit Compendium - Frame it out!
• FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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Please help , I’m so frustrated

Hi everyone- I’ve been on a weight loss journey since 4/20/20 and I’ve lost about 34 lbs. Although, the past few weeks I haven’t seen much of a change; in fact, the scale has gone up for these week’s AM weigh ins. I’m just wondering if I’m doing something wrong or overlooking something. I began counting my macros about a month ago, and I track everything. I consume no more than 1937 cal/day. I’m a 5’8 female, my lowest weight being 204.8 lbs on 8/12/20. This morning, after several mornings at 207, now it said 208 ! I do 80 day obsession on beach body 6days/week and chase 2 toddlers all day (lol). I’m wondering if I should be considering my period/pregnancy, as I have not gotten my period yet and I am due for it. Please be kind, I am still learning SO much about my body and this whole process of weight loss. Trying to be patient !

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5'2" SW: 196 CW: 176 GW: 140 down 20!

So I have two kids. My youngest is 2.5 yrs. I decided a while back I really need to lose this "baby" weight. A year ago or so I reached this same point in my weight loss. Everyone kept telling me I look great, keep up the good work etc. I felt wonderful. I started exercising with my diet, and I surprisingly stopped losing. I didn't gain, but I stopped losing. I got frustrated, and after one careless comment from my husband (he said he didn't notice a difference in my body after the, then 25lb loss) I gave up. Over the course of a year I gained 20 back.

Well now I'm back on my diet, making changes that I feel are sustainable. I have lost the 20lb I gained and I am starting to feel great again. I still have a decent amount to go, but I'm proud of myself for getting that 20 back off. I'm actually excited and motivated to get that last 30ish off.

I've been using my food tracker in my Fitbit app. It helps me keep my calories on track along side my activity. I know it's not completely accurate, but it's working for me for now. I also keep in mind how many "ww points" foods are, and try to keep those in check also. The second part helps keep me from having a day where I'm within my calorie count, but I ate like crap all day.

The last thing I am doing to help sustain this time around is I don't diet on the weekend. I don't go nuts, but I'm not so concerned with staying within my counts as I am during the week.

I just ordered my treadmill (I used to run before having kids) and I hope to get back into it and not mess with my progress.

Thanks for listening, it helps to get my strategy out.

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13 yrs old 5’2 and 165 lbs

Hi guys. I’m a 13 year old boy that has had trouble with my weight for the last 5 years. I have high blood pressure (not sure about the details) and have been inspired by the people of this sub’s nice weight loss stories. My problem: I’m overweight and I’m really unhealthy right now, everyday is junk food. My entire diet consists of junk food and I’m looking for a way to get my life back on track. I guess I’m addicted to junk food. Every hour or two I go look around the fridge for a snack. I need a way to get my shit together because right now I’m feeling shameful because of my stupid decisions.

Any help is welcome. I’ll be reading each and every single reply for as long as it takes until i get the motivation and knowledge on how to stop myself from eating junk and losing weight.

Age: 13 Height: 5’2 Weight: 165

I know my case isn’t as severe as other people’s case on this subreddit, I’m still dedicating all my focus and time on losing weight. Thanks for taking your time to read this, any criticism/help is accepted :D

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[SV/NSV] Still in Onederland after eating a big meal

Been a long time follower of this sub but this will be my first official post.

After reaching Onederland a few weeks ago I told myself I would wait until I was consistently under 200 for a week or two before I would actually celebrate, just in case it was a weight fluctuation. I wanted to be 100% sure. This past Saturday I clocked in at 196 and I celebrated by going to my favorite bbq joint that just reopened and getting a beef brisket sandwich and a beer, and only went about 150 calories over my deficit. It was a pretty big meal.

That night I weighed in at 198.6 lbs.

There are a lot of exciting things that have happened in my weight loss journey, but it's hard to describe the feeling I had that night. To eat and still be under 200 lbs. To know that I might never see 200 again, and that my perseverance and discipline were working, and that I was actually succeeding at this goal that took over 5 years to complete is very overwhelming and reaffirming and many other fun words.

I have never felt more confident in myself and my capabilities in my life, and I can only hope that it's a moment that everyone here is able to experience one day.

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Are mind games an unavoidable part of weight loss?

My background: I was overweight for most of my childhood. My mother told me there was nothing I could do about it, it was just genetic. I grew up, left home, and managed to get down to a healthy weight. I didn't have as much junk food around and did a fair amount of long distance running.

Got married, had a baby, gained 50 pounds during pregnancy. Tried to lose weight through exercise like I had before, but found it quite difficult to do with a baby. I resigned myself to a slow and gradual weight loss, secretly afraid that it would never happen.

About 6 months postpartum, my mother wanted to buy me some new clothes. I told her that I'd like to lose more weight before investing in a new wardrobe. She smirked and said "Good luck." I could tell that she was quite pleased that I was once again overweight.

I was quite angry and extremely motivated to lose weight after that encounter, so I started researching online. I eventually found this sub. I lurked/ read posts from it daily. I devoured all of the posts from u/funchords that I could find. I was able to learn what I had been missing in order to have a successful weight loss, even without hours of running. I got down to a few pounds below my prepregnancy weight at 10 months postpartum.

Along came baby number two. I gained 60 lbs during this pregnancy, but I had the tools I learned from this sub and got started earlier with weight loss via calorie counting. I'm much further along than I was with the first pregnancy. Things seem to be going well, and I should reach my prepregnancy weight by December.16 pounds left to go.

But you know what's funny? Every stinking pound is still so mentally hard to lose. I often think "Maybe dieting will stop working now that I've reached X number of pounds. Maybe this is the pound that I'll have to plant my proverbial flag to die on." Sounds dramatic, but such is my inner dialogue.

I've been trucking along. I'm still losing weight. I just expected that it would be easier mentally this time around. Has anyone else experienced this? Did you find anything that helped with these sort of mental hurdles? Are these thoughts just an unavoidable companion to weight loss? I guess I'm just wondering if there are people out there that have escaped these defeatist thoughts.

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