322 days in

Just doing a quick check in, I want to be able to look back on my journey and see the full picture. My previous two posts were pretty hopeful, from when I was in a good place, seeing progress and feeling good.

I'm getting close to a year of doing this, and my mental health is not great. Well some days it's great, others, like today, I struggle. My jerk brain has been able to convince me that my 40lb weight loss has been in my head. That I'm crazy for thinking I could do this, that I am a failure for still being fat, that I just suck and everything good in my life is a few steps away from being gone as soon as everyone else figures it out too.

I've had strong thoughts to "punish" myself, including doing a week long fast to make up for my lack of progress, urges to slap myself, crazy mood swings and crying. I'm tired of being fat, I'm tired of my fucking allergies being bad, I'm tired of doing workouts that to others would be warm ups, I'm tired.

I'm going to keep going, I'm going to keep working at this, and pushing, and I won't give up, but God damn if I don't want to with every fiber of my being. To just turn it all off, go into autopilot, let the stress win.

I gotta remind myself that even not having lost weight since the beginning of February, I've also been eating more, smaller deficit and water weight from all the exercise increases and any fat loss is being hidden. The math is there, it's telling me that I should have lost 7lbs since I started working out, and there is no way that isn't happening even if I can't see it and the scale won't tell me.

Any words of support are gladly appreciated, I'm having just a really hard day, but even if you don't have anything to say, I hope this shows that you aren't alone in your struggles.

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How to stop sudden food cravings?

Sooo I (20F 5’3 169) have lost 41 lbs in the last year. For a little background, I lose weight at 1100-1200 calories at a decent rate of 2lbs/week if I exercise. I have PCOS and a slow thyroid so I REALLY only need 1200 calories a day, (don’t believe people who tell you it’s impossible to lose weight with a slow thyroid/PCOS, it just makes more difficult but still doable!) slightly less if I don’t exercise so please don’t tell me I’m eating too little. I also get blood work done regularly and keep my doctor updated. If I start to do vigorous exercise, my caloric allowance will likely increase by 200 calories or so and still be in a caloric deficit. I use Noom and Fooducate to track everything.

Basically I’ll lose 20lbs in two-three months but then get horrible cravings and plateau. I lost 20lbs between January 15th and March 15th with little effort, CICO and intermittent fasting but now I’m having AWFUL cravings at night for sugar and carbs. This happened after I lost the first 20lbs and then I totally lost the ability to continue losing for about 4 months and it takes all of my effort to prevent simply gaining the weight back . while I am still 40lbs down how do I end these cravings and make sure I don’t not lose anything for 4 months again? I will have absolutely no hunger issues while I lose the weight for a month or two and then all of a sudden I’m starving and my brain tells me that I want to eat an entire box of pasta (which I don’t but still I end up eating more calories)

I’m about half way to my weight loss goal and would like to lose another 40lbs by September or October. I’m especially worried because if I go home this summer for break from college, my family eats horribly and I fear I won’t be able to not eat what they eat. How do I toughen up and get through this?? I know it’ll be a lot easier to lose weight at 20 than at 30 so I’d like to get this taken care of now...

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The Pants Saga, Part III: HEY, THEY FIT NOW!

Title says it all. Back in January I bought new jeans online, realized I accidentally ordered them way too small. (Ordered size 32, actually needed size 40). I could squeeze my ass into them but my stomach was hanging out and I couldn't pull the two sides together to button them no matter how hard I tried; there was a good 6-7 inch gap that would need to close. I took this as a sign from the universe that I should finally break the "buy new pants / get too big for the pants / buy new pants" cycle, and try losing weight for the first time in my life.

So I started CICO, started exercising a little bit, and 2 months later I've lost 26 lbs! And the pants fit!!! And it's not just those pants; I've got old pants I never thought I'd fit into again that I can finally wear once more. I've got some other old pants that still don't fit, but I'm now confident that I'll be able to wear them again one day if I just keep going.

I wasn't expecting the pants to fit so soon. I didn't start this journey with an end goal weight in mind; I just wanted to fit these pants. But I now trust this process so wholeheartedly that I think I could realistically get to a "normal" BMI in a year or two. I was in the middle of the "obese" range when I started, and I'm now 6 lbs away from entering the "overweight" range.

I'm probably preaching to the choir here, but wow, cico WORKS! It's amazing! It feels like I've been doing a crazy exciting science experiment for the past two months. I've learned so much about how weight loss works. This sub has taught me so much and I'm so grateful for it. Reading people's personal stories about weight loss has been really motivational and one of the main forces keeping me excited and interested through this all. So thanks, LoseIt!

F / 5'9" / SW: 233 lbs / CW: 206 lbs

TL;DR: My previously way-too-small pants now fit after I did CICO for 2 months. CICO works!

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I wish I could take this huge, uncomfortable jacket off

Note: was venting in my phone notes and accidentally wrote an essay, sorry! TW: ED

Today I went for an hour walk with my partner and had a lovely time. I had blisters because the furthest I’ve walked in over a month is around the (small) block but I thought I did pretty well. This evening the pain in my leg was so strong I convinced myself I had a blood clot and had a full blown anxiety attack which led me to throw up everything I’d eaten.

I have had weight problems since maybe age 16, but I have such a clear memory of the first time I looked down at my stomach, on the escalator in a Zara, aged 12, and thought ‘I am fat’. At 25 now, this has been a battle for nearly half of my life, and I’ve had enough. I’ve lost weight before, but never gotten to my goal weight, and to be honest I don’t really know what that looks like. I am only 5’2, but since I’ve been an adult my weight has fluctuated by about 30kg, landing me at my highest weight of 102.5kg last April. This is a real toll on a 5’2 frame, although I am fairly strong and have naturally (even at my lowest weight) large breasts so I do think that contributes. I, like many, did a few months of joe wicks and managed to get down to 95, maintained it through til December ish time and went back up to 99kg over the Christmas period. For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to calorie count at a fairly low deficit. I have a smorgasbord of eating disorders in my background so calorie counting made me nervous, but I also knew I was secretly using this to my advantage and ‘guessing’ the calories and giving myself far larger potions than I needed. It’s been going well, and I’m heading down to low 97kg, but I am honestly so emotionally drained from having this battle with myself.

I finally have a healthy relationship with food, and I’m so proud of that, and I’ve gotten fairly good at maintaining weight, and honestly, as bad as this sounds, I don’t want the grand emotional weight loss journey. I just want it off now. I feel like if I’m given the body that’s 30kg lighter again, I’ll look after it this time. I want a clean slate, and at the moment it feels like I’m wearing this huge horrible jacket I can’t take off. I’m a huge foodie, I love to cook and to eat, and I feel like there’s a whole-ass mountain ahead of me that I wish I didn’t have to climb. At the risk of sounding self-indulgent, I wish I didn’t have to suffer now for mistakes I made in the past. I’ve had the ED battle, I’ve made huge strides in my depression and insomnia, and I finally feel ready to enjoy life. I just have to take this big old jacket off now, and it feels too big and hard and scary to do so.

Truly kudos to you if you’ve made it this far in this post - it felt almost longer than my masters thesis. Not sure what I want from this post, other than a place to vent to people who get it, maybe some advice and mostly just company. I already feel a bit better just for writing it all out. I hope you all have incredible success in your journeys. Thanks for inspiring me every day.

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Getting help is okay

F26 5’6 SW:209 CW:184 GW:155 Today I am officially overweight, many of you have experienced this and it feels so funny to say. But, today I left obesity behind me. I have been trying to lose this weight for five years, I have lost it and gained it at least twice. I genuinely have tried everything.

I want my story to encourage people to get the help that they need. I have done weight watchers, noom, South Beach diet, keto, whole 30, calorie counting, extreme exercise, and everything else that you can think of. No, I wasn’t perfectly consistent. No, I wasn’t perfect when I tried. Who knows maybe I did all of this wrong.

This all started when I was 21. I went on an IUD form of birth control. Up until this point in my life I had normal acne, weight fluctuations and normal pms. In the two years I had my IUD I gained 50 pounds. I got cystic acne and I began to feel extremely paranoid and self conscious. I began dieting and working out regularly as I started gaining this weight and I felt betrayed by my body. After two years, I asked to have my iud removed and was met with discouragement from my doctor. I was surprised she didn’t think it caused any of my new symptoms. She convinced me to switch from a hormonal IUD to a copper IUD. During the time I had my copper iud I had a very painful cyst burst and the weight gain continue. I was barely eating and I was working out daily. I finally was able to get my doctor to take out my iud. I was convinced that within the first two months I would see these horrendous side effects melt away. To my shock nothing changed. I continued to eat healthy and work out. I tried to give my body time to adjust to the change, hoping I could go back to what I was before. A year later and still no change. I began trying different diets. I tried different sports and I consistently told my doctors of my exhaustion, inability to lose weight, my acne and my overall depression and hopelessness. I finally reached the point where I needed help and I went to a weight-loss doctor at year 3. I found out that I was suffering from a severe hormone imbalance and I was also diagnosed with PCOS. I had insulin resistance and I was one point away from being pre-diabetic. My doctor put me on metformin and told me to avoid pasta/bread/fries and generally unhealthy food. He also told me to exercise 30 minutes a day. I started taking metformin and instantly felt a difference in my body. Combined with metformin and noom I was able to loose 25 pounds. I was ecstatic. I got my blood sugar down to a reasonable number and finally started to feel good again. Then last year in March I left my insufferable job and started working as a pharmaceutical sales representative. I continued to take metformin and lost a few more pounds. Then the pandemic hit. I like many others fell off the band wagon. I stopped taking my medicine, and quickly gained the weight back. I was up 10 pounds from my highest weight. Throughout the pandemic I made a small effort to eat healthy and I did continue to exercise. Finally I was able to land my dream job and I had the ability to afford more expensive treatment. I made a decision that I didn’t want to be miserable any more.

I went to red mountain weight loss and started their RM3 program. I am extremely money motivated so paying that much for treatment was another way to help me keep to it. The serving sizes were reasonable and it was no more restrictive than the whole 30 diet. Within the first month I lost 15 pounds, a feat which would have normally taken me 3-5 months to achieve at great sacrifice. I continued the program, losing an additional 10 pounds the following month. I am writing this on the 3rd day of the 3rd month with this program. I am in tears due to being able to say I am just overweight, and I feel phenomenal. I haven’t looked this good in years. I haven’t felt this good or this free to be myself in years. I am halfway to my goal weight.

To all those women and men out there struggling to find something that will work for them, keep going, keep trying and do not give up on yourself. It is OKAY to ask for help, it is okay to pay for help. I am getting my life back and I am proud of myself. You’ve got this.

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How do you practice being kind to yourself?

Hello all.

My whole life I've definitely had a problem of internalizing external problems and blaming myself for them. I think a lot of it came from my natural mental health, but also the things I heard and the way people treated me. Excluding the things other people have said about me, just generally I tell myself that I'm worthless because of my looks and my bad personality, I'm a weak and failure of a person, etc.etc. I treat myself badly by not allowing myself to dress nicely, go out and meet other people, and just generally live the life I want because I feel I don't deserve it.

After some recent life events, people started telling me to "treat myself kindly" as I was having a hard time but I don't know what that means or how to do that. I know Tyra Banks used to say tell yourself 1 thing you like about yourself every day until you believe it, but there weren't things I liked about myself. I used to have a jar full of compliments people had given me, but my mom threw garbage in it once (by accident) but it was symbolic enough for me to stop. Sometimes I dress up or do things I like but then I feel embarrassed or ashamed because I don't look good or I'm not good at those activities. Now with this weight loss thing it's the same thing, people say to "be kind to yourself" but idk how.

So I just wanted to know how people do that? Where do you start? How do you keep at it until something changes? How long does it take?

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Confused with the recommended 150 minutes of aerobic exercise...where does strength training come in???

Hi everyone. First time poster here. Sorry, I’m on mobile. So on the AHA website, it recommends 150 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise or 75 minutes of of vigorous activity. So where does strength training come in for health? It says on the website to additionally do strength training 2x per week but does not give a recommendation for how long those sessions should be. I would like to lose 5-10 pounds but I would like to incorporate both cardio and strength training for weight loss and overall health. How long are your sessions for each and how many days per week? Just trying to figure out a good balance. TIA.

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