Sunday, September 24, 2023

280>230, 50 lbs down. Halfway to Goal Weight

Hey guys,

Just wanted to do a midpoint follow-up to share my experience thus far. I started my weight loss journey in March and this morning I hit 230 for the first time. My ultimate goal is 180 but I plan to take a little maintenance break at 199 to see how things are going.

I’m going to break down how my progression looked in phases that I consider a shift in my mental process regarding weight loss and how it naturally progressed for me. I hope this helps anyone that may just be starting or having a hard time.

Phase 1 (280-263) AT the beginning, i took about a month transitioning to cooking at home again instead of eating out so much. I wasn’t tracking calories at this point but I started dropping weight anyway. A couple of weeks after starting to cook my own food i began walking 2-3x per week and started feeling generally better. In this phase I didn’t care about calories or protein or anything else, i was just laying the foundation for what was to come.

Phase 2 (263-248) After losing about 20 lbs I got that happy feeling of “wow, i can actually do this”. I decided to do some more research on how to continue my weight loss in a consistent matter. I learned all about CICO, calorie tracking, and TDEE. I downloaded LoseIt!, bought a food scale, and started tracking all my food and calories. It took a few weeks to hone in my calorie goal but I eventually arrived at eating about 2200 calories/day which put me at around 1% bodyweight loss per week.

Phase 3 (248-Present) After a couple of months of building those habits in phase 2, i decided to do even more research and get into the details of my plan a bit more. I realized I wasn’t eating enough protein and raised my protein goal each day. I started adding some greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and adding more lean meats to my diet. I also read more about muscle loss risk and how to mitigate it and decided to start incorporating full body resistance training 3x per week.

Parting Thoughts At this stage i’m feeling much better with my function and looks. I’ve dropped a couple pant sizes, i went from a 2XL shirt to an XL but i’m close to comfortably fitting in to L. All my shorts are falling off of me and i’ve started fitting in to some clothes I haven’t worn in a long time. I’ll be attending a wedding at the end of October and i’m excited to go shopping for some nice pants and a shirt to feel good in!

I haven’t been taking strict progress photos but here’s a before and after as best as I could do: Before/After

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Replacing Nicotine.

So look, I’m going to be 100% real; 2 months ago, I started using nicotine lozenges for weight loss.

Yes, I know this was stupid, risky, et cetera. Well, let me tell you: it’s the most successful tool for managing appetite I’ve ever tried.

Whatever part of my brain that over-eats was placated by nicotine. Before I lost my head & ate 20 pieces of chocolate, I could pop 3 lozenges and forget about it. I lost 20 pounds this way. Was hoping to continue, get to 50. It worked better than water, gum, caffeine, et cetera.

The only problem is that it caused painful acne, specifically on my chin. I’m guessing it dried me out, causing an excess of oil to develop: or maybe affected my hormones.

But since quitting, I’ve reverted to my original terrible stress-eating habits. I can’t handle myself without it.

I’m going to go back on nicotine. I’m going to try and regulate its use more, to avoid acne… but at this point I’m willing to accept acne if it means continued weight loss.

That said, I’d love to find an alternative. Weed? Self esteem? Therapy? Sex? Alcohol?

Or maybe I’ll just find a way to circumvent the acne, lol.

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Today I have decided to give up on weight loss all together

I have struggled with my weight since I was 4. I weighed 90 pounds by that age. I am not kidding you about that.

By the time I was 14 I was 200 pounds. I went on diets, joined a gym for teens but still could not lose weight. Developed an eating disorder at 19 and got down to 150 by 21.

A year later I had some cardiac issues from anorexia so I entered treatment. By the time I left treatment I was 163 and didn't think a thirteen pound gain was that big of deal.

Sadly despite healthy eating and daily walking I still packed on anywhere from 5-11 pounds per year after that. Some years I gained less others I gained more but I was still gaining.

I january of 2022 I learned I was 219 pounds. I thought it could not be but sadly it was. I feverishly worked out at the gym and list a grand total of nothing.

I weighed myself today and I'm 222. Sadly at this point in time I've given up. I'm 33 and have been dealing with the weight issue my entire life. I've been tested for pcos, thyroid, cushings you nsne it but nothing has come back. I tried ozempic in March and actually gained weight.

I've given up. No more diets. No more exercise. I just don't care.

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Weight loss plateau? Why have I stopped losing?

About a month ago I hit a new lowest weight for myself, but since then I cannot seem to lose anymore weight whatsoever. At first I thought this was just the usual plateau so I upped my intake to maintenance for around a week and a half. Then I went back to being in a deficit and I still didn’t lose.

I’ve tried doing more exercise, mostly just walking more and doing dance workouts, hoping this would boost my metabolism but this didn’t seem to help.

I’ve tried lowering my intake more and making sure I’m logging everything accurately but that didn’t change anything either. I’ve even tried doing a couple of fasts.

I’ve also tried just giving my body rest, eating healthy and not stressing too much if I’ve lost, just in case it was my body being under stress.

I’m so at a loss now though, does anyone know what might be going on or how to fix this?

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Antidepressants

I'm not going to blame all of my weight gain on antidepressants. But as soon as I got on them, its like it was impossible to control my eating. Off of antidepressants I can easily lose weight, as my appetite isnt skyrocketed. It also feels like antidepressants kill the discipline part of my brain . Like i know weight loss is just tracking calories/caloric deficit but im unable to do that on antidepressants. Its like my discipline for that is gone, and im careless.

Here I stand at like 255 lbs, I used to be lean and 185lbs 5'11. Seems like I gotta make a important choice. I'd rather be less happy then fat. Not like antidepressants made me happy ever, just made me numb and lifeless, and took away some motivation, been on 10 different ones atleast..

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Can't fall asleep on an empty stomach. What should I eat if I need a late night meal/snack to fall asleep?

For some reason, I can never fall asleep if I have not eaten a meal 2-3 hours before bed. This has been really frustrating for my weight loss journey because a) I know you're better off eating a few hours before bed and b) when the feeling of hunger strikes, I inevitably go over my calories for the day because it's an extra meal and the alternative is to not sleep. I tend to intermittent fast in the mornings and this messes up my schedule as well.

Knowing this, I try to plan for dinner within 2-3 hours of bed, but it becomes an issue when I work late or stay up for other reasons. In situations where I do have to get up and eat to fall asleep, what would be the best thing to eat? Usually a handful of nuts or a light snack does not do it, but I'm certainly willing to try if any of you have something in mind.

I have tried many times to ignore the hunger, etc. but I just end up staying up. Trying to find a healthy compromise. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

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Saturday, September 23, 2023

Relapsed on binging this week... What now?

For some background, I used to heavily struggle with binge eating. It's been a long time since Iast had what I'd consider a proper binge, however. I'd eat more some days, sure, but still be within my calorie allowance for the week.

After learning from past mistakes, I've been taking weight loss slow. My goal is to lose a kilogram per month.

I've been on my period this week and it ended today. This entire week, I've just been so hungry and binged on multiple days this week.

I did log everything I ate, and I went over my budget by enough calories where I gained around a kilogram of fat. For some people, this sounds impossible. Well, it's possible if you eat high calorie foods that aren't very big.

I feel so gross, bloated, and sluggish. More than that, I feel like I ruined a good month or two of progress by eating back the progress I made over these past two months in only a week.

What now? How do I not feel bitter at myself for going backwards? Even my jeans felt two sizes too small this morning and my cheeks look so big to me.

I'm looking for some practical advice; not just the, "Tomorrow will be better," type of advice, please.

Thank you! Have a great night! 😊

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