I don't know if this is a question or a vent or a cry for help, but here goes:
I'm a 5'2" woman in my early 30s. I was around 120 lbs in highschool and felt fat. Then by 2011 or 2012 I weighed 160 lbs. There was a period of time where I felt sick - not like cough cough sick but I had no appetite for a while - and the extra weight disappeared and I went down to around 130 lbs, and I felt good about my body (I guess, you know, grown up confidence).
By late 2014 I was up to 164 lbs. This is when I first downloaded myfitnesspal and started trying to lose weight. I went up and down in weight, trying and failing to stick to a routine for exercise, for clean eating, and in Feb of 2016 I was at 152 lbs - but by August that year I was right back up to 164 again. And now I weight 175 lbs.
I feel pretty discouraged. If I think about my life, I feel I've been able to develop better habits and make better choices - I understand calories and nutrients more, the importance of sleep, cutting down on sugar and buying junk and such. I tried to educate myself but I just can't seem to figure out how to stick to things, how to get results. It feels so awful to realize that I've felt shitty about my body and have been trying to lose weight for all this time and I've actually done the opposite and gained weight.
Sometimes I wonder if I should talk to my doctor but I guess I don't feel like I should have a problem if I haven't been sticking to a calorie deficit 100% - because that's all it is, right?
I got really sick and tired of weighing food out and tracking intake at the beginning of summer so I've been trying to figure out something that I feel works for me and works long term. I've actually been pretty consistent about going to the gym since then (most days after work, weightlifting for 45~60 minutes and recently started C25K), but I know it's what I eat that will make the most difference for weight loss.
I really love how I feel when I work out and am active, but it kills me that I've gained so much weight after all this time and effort. Can anyone give me some support, or advice for getting my food habits in check? I know how CICO works and I guess I just feel super burnt out about it all.
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