Lately, I’ve seen a ton of posts about others’ reactions to weight loss, comments about food, etc. that made the poster feel some type of way about their progress or plan. Weight loss is challenging, it can be emotional, and it can involve serious changes. For many of us, it can be hard to make those changes without asking for accountability from friends or coworkers, or at least giving your family the heads up to help you avoid temptation. That being said, a common theme I’ve noticed is that folks who are already very anxious and negative about their body open up to someone else, who doesn’t say the right thing in response. Inevitably, this discourages the poster from weight loss or alternatively motivates them to prove the commenter wrong.
Weight loss is something that should be pursued out of love and respect for your body and yourself. That sounds like an ideal, but it has practical benefits: emotional motivators come and go, but you and your body are in it together for life. It is so crucial to approach weight loss through a positive lens rather than a punishing or depriving one - it has to work for you, not for anyone else, and honestly: others’ opinions do not matter unless they are your doctor or mental health professional. If you are fueled by others’ reactions to your current weight or weight loss, or your dedication to your new lifestyle wavers with any expressed doubt from others, you may not be in a good headspace for this journey.
Making new changes is hard, so it’s tempting to seek support and validation wherever you can. However, if you don’t feel like you are getting it from the people in your life, this sub is a great place to seek it out. We all get it and will give reasoned feedback and gentle, good-faith correction where appropriate. People in your life may be chronic fad dieters, may have never needed to lose weight, may be recovering from their own disorders, or simply may think themselves armchair experts on everything. For me, keeping weight loss talk abbreviated IRL and focusing on my own goals and what works for me has been key to success. If you’re not there yet and obtuse off-handed comments about food and weight upset you enough that you deviate from your plan, you may want to avoid having those conversations.
As a final note: Part of the reason that these posts stand out to me is that I recovered from an eating disorder and have worked very hard to approach weight loss in a healthy way. Many people have not been diagnosed with disorders but hold unhealthy beliefs about themselves, including that their weight is defining feature or a central focus to everyone around them. This can be true, as many people can be toxic about weight, but the goal of changing your eating habits should be to get to a place where you can thrive. If your weight is a constant negative focus, consider talking with a therapist to work towards embracing a more neutral view of yourself as you adopt a healthy lifestyle. The best defense against regain, in my opinion, is to lose weight for long-term reasons like preserving your quality of life. If that’s what’s driving you, an ignorant comment might sting but should not change your commitment to being your best you.
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