Here’s a bit of preamble: between March 2018-2019, I (28F, 5’1”) have managed to lose approximately 11 kgs, going down from 61 kgs to 50 kgs. I know that this is definitely not an earth-shattering change, especially when compared to the truly incredible success stories that I see posted on this sub and elsewhere everyday. But it was a slow and difficult process for me, not the least because I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which makes weight a highly volatile and eccentric metric to bring under control, and also because as a short female even a few pounds show very prominently on me (I tend to carry almost all excess weight in my abdominal area).
Now here’s why I’m happy: I went back home for 2.5 months after being away from family for nearly 2 years (I’m from India, but I have been doing my PhD in Europe since 2015). As is customary in Indian culture, these past few months meant that I was treated to mountains of very delicious (and very calorie-dense) food wherever I went. Parents would insist that I eat rice all the time (my mother still can’t comprehend how meals which do not involve rice in some form can even exist), socialising with friends almost invariably meant gorging on street food or pigging out at cheap outlets, and every visit to members of our very massive families was accompanied by being asked to sit through three full-course meals (covering everything from lentils, bread, and rice to fish and meat followed by that quintessential Bengali weakness, dessert). I have eaten enough good food in the past 2.5 months to bear fond memories for a lifetime.
I flew back today and one of the first things I did was to check my weight (I didn’t have access to a weighing scale back at my parents’). What I found was that I had somehow managed to remain a resolute 50 kgs, which is exactly what my weight had been on September 9 when I left for India. I was both pleasantly shocked and elated, because now I truly feel like I have managed to reach the ideal ground between maintenance and enjoyment.
I tried to eat as mindfully as possible, practicing portion control and opting for healthy alternatives whenever possible. I also took a temporary gym membership and attended classes for 2 weeks before other social commitments got too pressing. But you know what? I also went out and indulged myself, often at levels that I would formerly consider indiscriminate. I used to get anxiety attacks about social events, thinking that one tiny slip-up would undo all those months of hard work that I had put in. Earlier, I would eat 3 slices of pizza and then be ravaged by guilt over how I had sabotaged all progress due to my own weakness. Even this time round, after a certain point I had resigned myself to the idea that I would definitely put on weight, that there’s nothing I could do about it, and oh well that’s just how my life was going to be.
But the fact that I managed to maintain my weight while still doing the things that would formerly make me break into cold sweats has been a HUGE eye-opener. It’s so liberating to see food as fuel, as a source of genuine pleasure, enjoyment, and contentment without sublimating the baggage of personal guilt on to it. This trip back home has made me realise that small tweaks to one’s lifestyle and habits really does go a long way. You don’t always need to diet or to be stuck in the trap of dichotomous thinking whereby it’s good if you eat a salad and endlessly bad if you eat a slice of cake. You can eat both — just be mindful of how much you’re putting in to your system.
I guess I’m just rambling now, but what I wanted to say is: food isn’t the enemy; it’s one of life’s greatest treasures and you don’t need to demonise it and deprive yourself of it to lose/maintain weight. Everything in moderation really is key. If I can do it — and really, I’m the laziest asshole I know — ANYONE can.
(I should mention that I am in no way implying that weight — and losing it — is the ONLY marker of good health and fitness and the only thing that matters. Of course not. In fact, for a while now my goal has been to sculpt my body through weight training while maintaining my current weight. But this is a sub dedicated largely to weight loss, hence the tenor of this post).
Thank you for your patience! I hope y’all are having a wonderful day!
tl;dr Indulged myself on food to the fullest after a two-month vacation back home and managed to maintain my weight
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