Alright, buckle up kiddos, because this is a long one.
Here are some things I’ve learned in the process of losing 75 pounds. Hopefully they help you, or at least reiterate what you already know so you can kick your reluctant butt into gear.
DISCLAIMER: Keep in mind that these are things that worked for me - everyone is different. I am not a health and fitness professional. Do what’s best for you.
- Slow and steady thins your face.
Everyone says they lost weight in x months, but for most people, the journey is an Appalachian trail hike, not a quick walk in the park. Your journey started the first time you tried to lose 20 lbs, then gained more, then tried to lose 30, then lost some, then gained more, and essentially took an express ride on the fluctuating bus. My number finally started to steadily decrease about a year ago, but the process of getting to that point took me a lot longer. Fluctuating isn’t failure - it’s all part of the journey. Don’t beat yourself up.
On this same note . . . Why are you in such a hurry? Long term healthy habits don’t grow overnight, people, so stop expecting them to. Water your little baby step seeds and commit to the long game. Do you want to be fit forever, or just for now?
- Identify your WHY.
What is your why? What is your reason for wanting to lose weight?
If your goal is to be skinny, that’s all well and good, but it’s going to take you a LONG time to get there. That feeling of falling out of a pair of pants that were tight when you bought them? Amazing. But that feeling won’t drag you through months and months of effort.
If it’s about someone else - a partner finding you attractive, proving someone wrong, strangers flirting with you - nope, also too weak. When you are talking yourself into staying on your meal plan after a 3 week plateau and the cookies in the kitchen are calling your name, you won’t care about showing Francine from work that you can look hotter than her in a bathing suit. Find YOUR why. Write it down, keep it in your head, whatever. But find it.
- Take responsibility for your own choices.
As soon as you say you can’t help it, as soon as you say food is an addiction and it’s in control, you are giving up your own power. That mentality is straight up poison. No one is making you eat. YOU are in charge of each decision, each choice you make, each calorie you consume. So take responsibility, and next time you feel out of control, give yourself a reality check. Reiterate your why. Remind your brain that it’s in charge. Does that make it easy? Hell no. But taking responsibility is an early step in revamping your eating habits.
- Eat what you want! Just less.
Seriously, you can eat whatever you want, just not as much as you want. I found that restricting food groups on any sort of diet neeeever worked for me. And I tried them all.
What finally worked? Making a meal plan that included foods that I’m excited to eat. I regularly plan meals like pita pizza, bacon grilled cheese on whole wheat, and banana nut muffins. Sort out your calorie goals, make a meal plan in advance, and include some things you’re hyped about.
Does this mean that you can be healthy from just eating junk food all day? Obviously not. The 80/20 rule is pretty solid; I try to include mostly whole and healthy meals overall. Also there are plenty of ways to make pretty much any cuisine healthier.
When I first started sustainably losing, I wasn’t counting calories. I eventually moved into planning my meals based on my calorie goals in advance so I didn’t have to think about it. Over time, I started making healthier swaps to add volume.
There’s not much about nutrition and calories that hasn’t already been said. Find what works for you through trial and error, then keeping doing it.
- There’s more to you than a weight loss plan.
Get a hobby, seriously. Find a way to redirect your energy and obsess over something that’s NOT your weight or your food plans. Plan meals, weigh in, then do something else. If you stick to your goals, you will eventually be the weight you want to be. And then what? Work on expanding your knowledge, finding new activities you enjoy, and mentally lightening up as you go along.
- Don’t borrow trouble.
Do not create issues that don’t exist, ya’ll. Worrying about ending up with loose skin used to keep me up at night. And guess what? I don’t have any. For me, I’m sure it’s mostly straight up genetics. I got lucky in that regard. Secondly, I didn’t rush or do some whack ass crash diet to lose a large amount of weight quickly. I gave my skin cells time to heal.
Also, working out, duuuude. Work. Out. Start small if you have to - find an exercise you enjoy. But you’ve got to move. I’ve been an avid exerciser for over 10 years. Even when I was at my largest, I was still in the gym or running 5-6 days per week. Of course you may get loose skin anyway. And that’s okay, too. But allow things to happen in their own time, and try to refocus your energies on what’s happening right now.
Another borrowed trouble: don’t expect a different body shape. Sure, it can be motivating to look at others’ pics, but when you hit your goal weight, you are gonna look like YOU, not them. There’s no instagram filter for real life, and edited or not, people obviously choose the most flattering picture to post always. Random exercises and targeted fat loss attempts will not change your natural shape, so why not learn to love what you’ve got?
I didn’t include pictures in this post for multiple reasons. I have friends who browse and also don’t want any jags to steal my before and afters for shitty weight loss ads or even worse: reposts. But I do recommend taking pictures. I cannot believe how far I’ve come when I look at photos of my highest weight. I also didn’t include my starting or current weights, because they are unique to me. Focus on what healthy looks like on YOU.
- Celebrate milestones along the way.
I didn’t tell anyone I was trying to lose weight this time around, but those close to me obviously noticed and commented in due time. Each time I hit a mini-milestone - 10 pounds lost, broke a plateau, reached a healthy BMI range - I celebrated in my own way. Celebrate each and every victory, scale or non-scale.
To wrap this up, I‘ve been feeling absolutely amazing for the first time in a long time.
Of course this is partly the weight loss, but it’s also the personal work I’ve done in managing my own depression and anxiety. I am such an emotional eater, and I’ve gradually overcome this with concentrated effort. I also have PCOS, and have watched those symptoms alleviate as I got healthier. Mental health is supremely important, and reaching your goal weight will not automatically make your problems disappear. Love yourself now, find non-food ways to soothe, surround yourself with the life you want. Most of the reason I’ve been able to sustainably lose weight at all this time around is due to my prioritizing my mental health first.
I’ve struggled for so long with weight loss, imagining that if I could just get to x size or x weight, I would be able to easily maintain my habits. Well, that’s true and not true. If you develop the habits how, you will eventually reach x size. Eat like a healthy person, train like a healthy person, and you will become healthy.
I can fit into every single item in my closet. Even gifts from others that were always too small fit me. Most of my clothes are too big at this point, and I’m gradually purchasing a whole new wardrobe. I am thinner than I was in high school, and absolutely the fittest I’ve ever been. I’m wearing a size small for the first time in 10 years. But the best part is how I feel - truly and simply happy.
I’d wish you luck, but you don’t need it! I wish you determination and commitment instead. Cultivate the life YOU want - no one else can do it for you.
