I’ve lost *oNe pOuNd* in five weeks

This is me right now: 🧐😬🥺😭😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤[26/f/5’4/167.7lbs]

Back in March, I re-started my weight loss effort. I took a break (quarantine and emotions and mental health), and yet again restarted on June 1 at 168.7. I was below my March starting weight, but not by much.

In some ways, this is a great time to focus on my weight loss. I’m not drinking at all or going out to eat. Two weeks ago, I restarted strength training. I take my lunch to work every day. I’ve only gone above my 1250 calories once over the last five weeks and it was for a family-only socially distanced cookout.

Each week, the scale moves either up, or it moves down by a small fraction of a pound. Today, I stepped on the scale, 5 weeks after my restart, proud of the consistency....

And I’m at 167.7, one pound less than five weeks ago. (I might have yelled, “THIS IS F-CKING BULLSH*T.”) I told myself in June that at a modest one pound per week, I’d be down more than 10 pounds by an August event I have coming up. It seemed so - exciting! (I’ve previously lost about 40 pounds two years ago, and have been stagnant since, so I’m not exactly a noob. I get it - count your calories).

I get that weight fluctuates, there’s this thing called water weight, you retain water when you first start strength training again, yada yada yada. But it’s not like I’m momentarily up - the lowest I’ve been in the last five weeks is 166.9, and that was three weeks ago.

I’m just screaming. I spend so much energy working out, thinking about what I’m eating, etc etc etc and I’m down a pound in a month??? The irrational part of my brain is like, “Fuck this - I’m gonna start taking those diet pills that give 20-year-olds heart attacks because so what at this point.” Then, I’m like, “JK I’ll be a chubster for the rest of my life,” and then that thought reduces me to tears.

Even if it’s all just water weight (because it can’t be fat, for God’s sake), then so what? I lost -two- pounds? 2.5?? I’ve never dropped more than two pounds of water weight suddenly.

Why does my body want me to be unhappy?

submitted by /u/EternallyChubby
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