[F/20/5'8/220-140lbs]
Hi. I started my weight loss journey 3 years ago at my highest weight ever - 220lbs. I was really heavily bullied for my weight in high school as most girls my age were like 125lbs at most. I thought that I was being picked on because I was overweight and didn't really care about my appereance. Fastforward 3 years later my old friends don't even recognize me on the street. I'm 4 sizes down, I carry myself well, I put make up on and do my hair like most girls my age. The picking didn't stop. I'm still the ugly one in my friend group (and It's not about them, they compliment and uplift me a lot and they're amazing people). I'm really confident in myself when we go out, I really am. I'm a huge extrovert and I put myself in social situations a lot. Confidence doesn't help. I really wanted to finally start looking for a relationship so I made a profile on online dating site. My female friends had a lot of luck there and have been basically bombarded with messages and they really wanted me to give it a try. I got 3 messages asking for sex in the first week and that was it. I once messaged all my 65 matches and I got 2 responses, both guys stopped responding after a few messages. No kidding. Trying different sites didn't help.
I would go clubbing with my friends and watch them get hit on left and right. I would talk to guys on parties and get rejected before I even tried to make move on them. My mom told me not to worry as "guys your age only care about looks". Funny thing is, I really thought that I had the looks. After 3 years of ups and downs, eating disorders along the way, getting my life together and taking care of myself im still the ugly one. I feel really hopeless. It took 80lbs lost and basically a whole makeover for me to realize that no matter how much makeup I put on and how much weight I lose I still won't be attractive. I feel like all my hard work was completely pointless as I probably needed a plastic surgery consultation instead of a diet.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2CPqL7Z
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