TW mention of eating disorder behavior and low self esteem talk
I'm 15 and 174 pounds (I'm 5'4) it has such a huge effect on my self esteem and I'm not sure where to start with weight loss while I'm living with my current guardian. She's obese and 76 years old, which i don't judge her for at all but her health means she can't cook nor teach me how to cook. So I don't have an eating schedule which leads to my overeating, but there's more (since I'm 15 obviously I don't need someone to cook for me lol)
We're low income so we don't buy ingredients, we buy snacks and frozen food to cook. Which are high in calories, and not scheduling myself I overeat a lot as well from that. My diagnosed MDD & PTSD may also have an effect on my overeating but I'm not sure.
My guardian is super protective, and maybe my overeating wouldn't be an issue if I could get exercise and stuff, but because she's protective I only get to go outside to water the flowers and maybe walk the dog (we live in a small trailer park and she doesn't want me out too long)
I'm not allowed on walks and hardly allowed to go out with friends, though to be fair I don't ask to go out a lot cause their all busy. Either way, I'm stuck inside constantly other than school and chores, and she gets super pissed whenever I ask her if I can go on a walk. She says all the doctors agree that it's unsafe for me to go outside in the state the world is in rn.
I don't know what to do as it kind of feels hopeless. I've had points in my life where I got very insecure and would undereat a lot (I once lost 13 pounds in 2 weeks), and I had points where I'd throw up my food or use laxatives, but i don't have an ED as it never stuck so it's not enough for her to worry about and get a doctor's opinion on.
My room hardly has enough space to even pace around in (like 6 steps to the front door of my room to the back window) and online workout tips have been hard for me because being inside so long has fucked up my muscle. Seriously I used to actually have strength but now I struggle with 10 pounds weights my friend has lol.
Anyone have tips for weight loss or my situation in general? Nothing to do with asking my guardian to let me go outside as she doesn't want that, but if there's any tips or guides or diets (again, Ive grown kind of dependant on food and sweets as much as I hate to admit it) or workouts that I can actually do with the little muscle I have right now i'd appreciate it, as my weight makes me feel very bad about myself, and I think I'd be happier if I could loose at least 20 pounds by around August or something. Ideally I'd like to get my weight down to around 110-140 (big range but I'd be happy so long as I don't feel the way I do now lol)
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