Hi all, I'm mostly a lurker here, but will often turn to this community for information, advice, inspiration, and commiseration. My own process, with its ups and downs, has provided interesting opportunities for some introspection and exploration of what it takes for me, and others, to lose fat.
One thing I've been reflecting on, and thought might be helpful to share with others working on weight loss, is that, while losing weight IS simple - i.e. it appears that, barring medical anomalies, simply using more calories than one is taking in (CICO) is the "secret" to weight loss -- finding the right path towards losing weight can be quite challenging on an individual level due to our own somewhat unique and often complicated relationships with food, exercise, and our bodies. It seems to me that weight loss is as much a psychological process as it is a biological one. That's why, although the principals behind weight loss are quite straightforward and can easily make sense on a rational level, finding what works for any one person can be very hard due to our own personal needs and unconscious processes behind satiation.
(This is where I share that my background is in mental health, not trained specifically in eating disorders or here to give any sort of medical or psychiatric advice, but offering some thoughts rooted in my training. Again, just thoughts, so take from it what you will!)
Much like other aspects of our lives, our current relationship with food is often rooted in our societal, cultural, and familial upbringing and relationships. Our access to food, types of food we grew up eating, observations of our caregivers/family members' interactions with food and their bodies, messages we receive about "good vs bad" food and bodies - all of this informs how we relate to food. And, as we age, we take in all of these different observations and combine them with personal experiences to create our own food philosophy that we may not even be aware of. How much we eat, the types of food we eat, when we eat, how we feel about the foods we're eating (or not eating), our sense of satiation when eating, what we do when we're not eating - all of these are going to be individually based and often rooted in early life experiences. That's why weight loss really isn't a "one size fits all" process - because we all have different life experiences and internalized philosophies, and what works for one person may not work for another, even though it's all CICO at the heart of it.
I think that's why it can be difficult and somewhat demoralizing when you may be struggling with weight loss and hear people's success stories with tips that often seem irrelevant (like cutting out soda if you were never a soda drinker to begin with) or not personally sustainable (such as OMAD, IF, veganism, keto, counting calories, etc) - it can start to feel like weight loss is for *other people* and maybe you're just destined to be the size you're at. Having witnessed so many different paths to success in this forum, and figuring out my own, I definitely don't believe that's true, however, I do think it takes some strong inner work. While many of us can consciously understand that if we eat less than we burn we will lose weight, that concept can be very challenging in action if we don't understand, and actually change, the mechanisms driving our current, ingrained issues with successful CICO. Truly knowing ourselves is one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves in all aspects of life, and this can be applied to figuring out what works for personal weight loss, as well.
With this in mind, I'd like to encourage anyone who might be struggling with their weight loss and/or body image to spend some time reflecting on how your early life experiences and unconscious processes around food and exercise might be impacting your choices and contributing to your struggles. Coming to better understand this aspect of yourself may help you find the approach that works best for you, particularly because this forum really is brimming with helpful tips and methods to effective, sustainable weight loss - the "trick" is finding what will work for YOU based on your personal relationship with food and your body. I know for me, it has been very illuminating to explore my own personal issues with food (namely, scarcity complex, using food as a source of comfort, and family myths around certain foods) and use this information to make informed choices for myself around the foods I eat, portions I serve myself, and activity levels. Perhaps for you, there might be certain stressors that trigger binges or withholding, or certain foods that elicit memories (conscious or unconscious!) that make portion control challenging, or diet schedules that activate anxieties around deprivation - the psyche is a powerful force! There are a myriad of internal factors at play that, once brought to light, can be challenged and reconciled (or at least mitigated). Finding what works, while not necessarily easy all the time, will probably be far less painful than trying (and failing) over and over again.
I know this isn't revolutionary, but I share it in hopes that it may help someone in their own process. May everyone find what works and may we all live happy, healthy lives to the best of our abilities :)
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