Hey loseit, I hope it's ok to post a follow-up to my long story yesterday about being as close to 500 lbs as one can without actually being there, and my modest but ongoing battle to lose weight since.
The response and number of private messages and comments I got was so much larger than I ever could have imagined, and I don't think I have the ability to respond to everyone individually. I also think I'd end up repeating myself a lot. So I thought in an effort to acknowledge how grateful I am and respond to the questions asked, I'd make a summary response.
First, thank-you so much to everyone. I went for a walk around a park near my home this morning. I usually do the 6.5 km at a very fat man plodding pace of about 18m30s. This morning my pace was 15m52s. I think your comments and encouragement were fueling me on.
Second, in case you missed the edit to the bottom of my post, I wanted to acknowledge a book that helped me a lot. I'm not affiliated in any way, but I took a great deal of inspiration (as well as the Wendy-as-a-lover joke) in how I told my story from how Tommy Tomlinson told his in a recent book called 'Elephant in the Room'. I won't link it again because people think this is some kind of marketing effort for him or something. I'm just a guy who bought and enjoyed the book.
I am not a medical doctor, and I'm not super comfortable giving advice. This is just my personal take on things.
Some people asked what I did to get started. I wish I had a story about how I finally snapped or how everything finally 'clicked' for me, but it isn't like that at all. The closest thing to that moment was seeing the 499.6 lb number on the scale. After that, and encouraged by a close friend, I decided I was going to be brutally honest with myself and track everything I ate. I wasn't even going to try to lose weight. After all, I'd already failed at that so many times. But after tracking for just a few days, I realized I was eating a little better just because I didn't want to put the bad food into my tracking app. I started actually trying to hit my recommended calorie intake for 2 lbs loss. It's getting easier to eat under that number as time goes on, but there were some VERY bad days in the early going.
After about two and a half months of just losing without any exercise (and I mean NONE), the weather in my part of the world started warming up and I started walking. My first walk was .8 km and took me 18.55 minutes. But that improved pretty quickly, and in the month of April I walked over 70 km.
For the past several weeks, I aim to average about 2000 calories per day. That seems comfortable to me if I eat lots of vegetables and protein with just a little bit of carbs (I don't have any 'no go' foods, but I try to limit carbs quite a bit) I have a very long way to go, so I'm sure my strategies will change. For now, my plan is to eat about 2000 calories a day for the rest of my life. That means I'll lose weight very quickly for now, and much more slowly as I get closer to 2000 being my maintenance. So I don't have a long term goal. I have a goal to eat 2000 calories a day right now.
I weigh myself every day. My weight fluctuates A LOT, and I use an app called Libra to 'smooth out' the variations with a trend line. As long as my 14 day trend continues down, I'm happy. I find the fluctuations quite interesting and love the data, but I totally get how some people could find the scale and numbers discouraging (especially when you're not starting out so big and can't lose nearly as dramatically). Do what works for you.
A number of people brought up surgery for someone like me. I've looked into weight loss surgery a bit, and I know enough to know what a difficult journey that can be. I know it's a tool that many morbidly obese people need and use. I have a lot of respect for people who make that difficult life change. I haven't ruled it out for me. I may get surgery yet, but for now I feel strong and good about the way I'm losing weight. I feel like I have a responsibility to myself to see how far I can take things.
A lot of people also recommended therapy. I'd a be a complete fool to dismiss mental health as a major contributor to how someone can get to 500 lbs. That said, I haven't yet engaged with a professional therapist myself, and I don't feel at all ready to do that. Maybe I'll get there some day soon. I love talking to a few friends and family about things, and I have some good listeners and strong supporters in my life.
I've gotten lots of advice, from drink more water to keto to intermittent fasting to long term water fasting, to some truly bizarre stuff. I appreciate it all. I'm happy with what I'm doing to lose right now and it feels like something I can continue for a very long time. When things change for me, I'll adjust my strategy and experiment with other options. I'm already starting to investigate ways to continue exercise when the weather here turns cold again.
A few people asked what I thought they should do for someone in their life who needs to lose a large amount of weight. This is very difficult for me to answer, and something I've been asked before and given a lot of thought. This might seem too simple, but I think you just need to love them unconditionally and not much else. Let them know you are ready to help. Listen to them when they want to speak. If they ask for help, give it to the best of your ability. But show them love and acceptance without slipping into fat logic or health at any size (which is an absurd concept, imo) But know this, sometimes unconditional love isn't enough. Someone has to want to lose weight for themselves in order to do so and sustain it. I'm the kind of person who responds extremely negatively to nagging, pestering, suggestions from others on how to live my life more like they think I should, and mocking. I get all of that sometimes because of my weight, and none of it ever helped. But the people who love me inspire me to want me to do better for myself and for them.
A lot of people complimented the writing. That is very gratifying. I'd be lying if I said I didn't work hard to make that post as entertaining and informative as I could, so it was nice to have that recognized. I work for myself doing content writing, photography, and video (including script writing), so to everyone who recommended I should write professionally - I sort of already am. I don't think I have the stamina to write a book, but if people dig it I'll try to make periodic future updates better than this one, which I'm rattling off quickly today.
I guess that's it for now. Thanks again for being such a supportive community. I'll stick around as often as I'm able to update, participate, and encourage everyone else too.
Losing weight is hard, but being fat is harder. Until next time, make good choices and love each other.
