Maintaining and going slowly

So I am a human and not a robot. Now that I'm aware of the problem of being overweight I want it fixed yesterday. We all know weight loss doesn't work like that. From the start of 2018 until now I have experienced the following things:

- Had a break up in Feb 20118 that messed me up a bit

- Provide live-in care for a close friend who ultimately passed of cancer

- Got made redundant from my dream job

- Lost another family friend to cancer (you know, the best mate of your Dad you call uncle, but he isn't your uncle? That guy)

- Work a minimum wage job to pay rent to make it through after applying for (in the end) around 80+ jobs

- Go back to full-time study

- Start a new relationship (few months in, seems to be going well!)

- Got diagnosed with ADHD

- Shaved my head for fundraising for cancer charities (I'm a woman with what was previously very very long hair, so it was quite a strange, fun, cathartic decision)

- Hit 89.5kg back in June 2018 and decide to make some changes

- Started bushwalking again. A lifelong passion that I had been previously neglecting

- Spend more time with a community group that I really value and did some fun projects with them last summer (I'm in Australia, so summer is Christmas time for me)

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I'm not special. These are pretty standard life events for many people, both really super shit and also pretty good are up in that list. ADHD diagnosis was a huge positive revelation for me. We all have really intense shit going on in our lives. But last year, I did the Christmas Challenge Lose it organises and got down to 74.4kg. That was my target. For my height and weight somewhere around 66-69kg is optimum for me. But I've sat here at 74ish kg for the past 6 months. Just chilling. I've lost 15ish kg all told and that's huge. Sure, I've got around 7ish to go (I'm not into the exact number end goal, more about what 'feels' right), but it's not a sprint. So I've paused to maintain before the next push.

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Maintaining is SUPER hard. Especially when you start dating someone new and it's exciting, so you want to go out and drink wine and eat cheese together. The temptation to get (what my brother calls) 'relationship fat' through food is pretty strong. But I eat sensible portions and go slow.

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So I hang out here in Lose It. I read your stories. You (unknowingly) pump me up. Grief has been getting to me a bit recently. It was what should've been my friends birthday recently and grief hits ya hard. So, you might soothe with junk food, stay on the couch, wrap up in a blanket and weep a little. That's part of life and let yourself feel those things. Maybe you (like me) started with eating a whole large pizza in private shame. Now my grief looks like eating a cheese toastie with homemade soup or splitting a small pizza with my boyfriend and then eating some berries later if you're still hungry. It's still comforting, but not what it previously was and I feel better in myself for it.

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I didn't really have a real reason for making this post, I just wanted to reach out to the community and say I see you. I see you making hard choices, but sometimes you're out of juice. That's ok. Think about the last year of your life. Make a list of the things you got through - both good and bad. Keep it in perspective. Instead of thinking "urghhhhh I've been losing weight for a year and I'm still not there!" I think about how far I've come and why I made the choice to go slow. I've heard about yo-yo dieting, not changing habits long term and how easy it is to fall off the posi habit train etc and I want it to be a change for my whole life, so it doesn't happen instantly. Instead of "I've still got 7 kg to go!" I think "Fucking hell I lost 15kg in 6 months last year! I'm 2 thirds of the way there!"

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Other (unsolicited) advice from experiencing unemployment grief, family dying grief and relationship grief in the space of 18 months:

- walk around the block if you don't feel like a workout. It'll do heaps for your mental health

- leave the house every day. See above.

- Shower after you get back from your walk.

- the library is a nice place to visit with more than just books if you're poor. I eat when I'm sad and lonely. Books can be places to find new healthy recipes, magazines, community groups etc. I met a group to go on bush walks there and I see them every few months. Plus librarians have a rep for being harsh, but odds on you'll find someone there who likes a chat. I forgot about a book when my uncle died and got a huge fine on it. I was talking to the librarian to pay it and told him why and he wiped the fine. Then I cried I was so grateful. Then he made me a cup of tea and told me what he was reading at the moment and chatted to me about books. He totally saved that day for me and I see him there regularly and we have far more nice normal chats now and he never mentions the 'me crying' thing. He's a champ.

- Freeze soup in portions so you have a quick and easy healthy meal that you don't have to think about. You will be finished eating soup before the metaphorical pizza even arrives.

- I make constant bargains with myself. Eat the soup today, buy a long black at the nice cafe tomorrow and drink it in (not take away) and read their papers as a treat. "If you walk to that bridge and you still want to turn around, you can go home then". "You can't go finish this walk until you hear the end of this podcast"

- Ask your friends to go on a bushwalk/picnic on a certain day. If they can't make it, still do it on your own and then do it again with them when they're free. Being social helps my food habits and my mental health also helps my food habits, whilst still doing the thing is good for me and teaches me to be stronger on my own. Not everyone is free all the time, so do it regardless and then you'll become known for it. Friends ask me to go on bushwalks now instead of the other way around. I went for a walk with my boyfriend on Saturday and we saw a group of 5 teenage boys using the work out space in the park (my park has play equipment for adults) and part of their rest breaks on their circuit was cooking food on the BBQ. Then they all ate together at the picnic table between the gym gear and the BBQ. Honestly, it was so wholesome it inspired me to ask some of my friends to do the same thing this weekend.

- Get out of bed. Make your bed. Move to the couch instead. Don't go back to bed until bedtime.

- The community of r/NonZeroDay is really helpful. Sometimes it can be hard seeing people achieve their goals that seem so far ahead of you on loseit, even if you are happy for them. This community exists to support you through the hard times. Making your bed is an achievement and this space exists to support that.

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I didn't really know what I was going to write here when I started. These are all the things that I've done to maintain my weight loss and not lost motivation long term. You get all jazzed at the start, then something shit happens and it trips you up. These things are what I do when I trip. And if you fall over, that's ok too. You've got that trip, give yourself a space to feel what you need and then get back up tomorrow. I believe in you and if I know anything about the Lose It space, they believe in you too x

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One year later and 45 pounds lighter

One year ago, I began my weight loss journey and a journey towards a generally healthier lifestyle. I started this journey at approximately 225 lbs and now I am down to around 180 lbs, which is a total of about 45 lbs. I didn’t cut out any foods. I just simply became more mindful of my portions and caloric intake, as well as light to moderate exercise. I also had to accept and address my sugar addiction (yes, sugar addiction is a real thing). I still enjoy sweets and desserts, but I am no longer plagued by the intense cravings of them. Losing weight was just one of the benefits to changing my lifestyle. I also have more energy and mental clarity overall. Before, I was feeling extremely lethargic and foggy. It goes to show that lifestyle changes can make a huge difference to your mind and body.

I know that 45 pounds may not seem like much, but I feel that it’s definitely healthier than what I was before.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2KoHEHL

After 4 years of maintaining weightloss - these are my thoughts

This is long and messy and has swear words in it. Forgiveness, please.

A dear friend of mine wondered out loud recently how other people stay motivated to lose weight or keep weight off.

I don’t even feel slightly qualified to answer that. Having lost a respectable chunk of weight, and being 4 years into keeping it off, I don’t think there is a pat answer. Something like that is entirely personal and individual.

And it’s a loaded question. Fraught with all sorts of booby traps about what we weigh, what we think we should weigh, what societally acceptable weights are, and the vast, seething, swirling quagmire of lies, pseudo-science and hot, runny bullshit about HOW people lose weight. (And how they don’t, and how they gain it back. And how they get all fucked up it in the process.)

And, there’s the pervasive belief that losing weight is good. For me, it certainly wasn't. Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t like being fat. I like being thinner much more. I didn’t do it to look better. I didn’t do it so that random strangers would find me more attractive. I did it because I wanted to be freer, happier, stronger, wilder, and less afraid. I really was scared. Scared of the negative health consequences of my weight. Scared that I would be looking at disability because of it in a few years. Scared that I was missing out on life, that my weight was holding me back and that that I could be living a fuller, richer, more complete life if it wasn’t for my weight holding me down.

And yet, when people ask, and when people notice - they don’t comment on how happy I look, or how I’m able to snowshoe all day without resting. They don’t comment on how fine my kayaking stroke is, or compliment me on my ability to climb up stairs without puffing. The comments are all about how I look. I know, I know. That gets me up on my gender politics soapbox. I get that our society IS geared that way. My issues are mine - but that was a bit of a mental block for me to clamber over. Sort of a sense of “look, I’m not doing this so that you’ll want to fuck me. I’m doing this to be happier. And quite frankly, you (random stranger) wanting to have sex with me does NOT make me happy.” But hey. That’s just me.

If I had any advice at all (and I’m not sure I do) I would say this: let joy and pleasure be your guide. Take pleasure in your body and all the remarkable things it can do. Be joyful about being strong and flexible and build on that. Enjoy your food. Eat for pleasure. Exercise for pleasure. Enjoy the way your body moves. As things change, be happy. Be scared if you need to - but be joyful. If your weight loss regime is making you miserable - you’re doing it wrong. You can’t starve yourself into being happy, and you can’t exhaust yourself into being thin.

I’ve cried a lot during my weight loss. The first time I threw myself into my kayak and the gunwales didn’t touch the water, I cried. The first time I saw I weighed less than 100Kg, I cried. The first time I saw I weighed less than 90Kg, I cried. I cried when I put on my bespoke shirt, and it wasn’t so bespoke anymore. I cried the day I walked right out of my pants. I cried in the T-shirt line at a concert for cripes sake. Bought an XL shirt and it hung on me like a tunic. I cried the day I didn’t recognize my own reflection and tried to say hello to the strange woman in the mirror. I cried for joy, mostly.

I didn’t quite believe in my heart that I could make these changes in myself. I was surprised when I did, and that choked me up. And, too - I was scared. It IS scary when you don’t recognize yourself. It was sad to me that I was saying goodbye to that fat girl. She was pretty cool, you know. I liked her a lot. It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love. Not that you really ever have to say goodbye to yourself. You’re still gonna be YOU - no matter HOW much weight you lose. Just that you have to say goodbye to some of the mental images, and longstanding beliefs you have/had about yourself. For the most part, those are good changes. But you’re still allowed to be sad about changes in general.

Several years ago - I got married. Like it or not, there is a subtle shift in the way people treat you when they think you’re married. It’s like you take on a certain adult level of status, and people do treat you slightly more respectfully because of it.

I cry about this reality too - but the same thing happens with weight loss. I’m treated differently. It’s like people assume I’m more grown up, more reasonable, controlled, moderate and “adultier” than they did when I was fat.

What keeps me going is the joy. I love being able to shop in any store in the mall. I feel much joy when I throw myself into my kayak and the gunwales don’t touch the water. I love being able to see the muscles under my skin, and the way my body moves - loose and light and easy. I love not being scared about my weight, or thinking it’s going to kill me one day. Its a relief not being scared of my own body.

I’ve come to realize along the way that a lot of what we think we know about losing weight is bullshit. Almost everything you read in magazines about it is wrong. Shows like The Biggest Loser and My 600lb Life give a very, very distorted (and mindboggling fucked up) view on weight loss. Reality is more like this: You will never reach your “goal weight”. You will never weigh what you did in highschool. If you do, you will never keep it off. Simply because the factors and causes that led to you being overweight in the first place will not go away just because you managed to lose weight. You’ll still be you, in other words. The reasons you feel compelled to eat, the reasons you rarely feel satisfied, the drivers that cause you to use food for solace will still be there. You may think you’re overweight because you “eat too much and don’t exercise enough”. I can assure you, the truth is actually far, far deeper down the rabbit hole. The trick is to figure out WHY you eat too much, and then, figure out if its even WORTH doing anything about that. You may not like the answers. I sure as hell didn’t.

I will never be my “perfect” weight of 64kg. And I’m ok with that. Maybe as time goes by, I’ll get closer to that number than I am now. Maybe I won’t. Who cares? My boat floats. I’m wearing a pair of size 11 pants, and I can buy a swimsuit that fits me just about anywhere. I can run, I can lift, I can dance, and I can push your car out of a snowdrift if you need help. I’m no longer prepared to let Perfect be the enemy of Good. Don’t let Someday be the enemy of Today.

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[SV] Back On The Wagon - Down 26 Pounds Total Now

Hey all,

As usual I’ve been my own biggest enemy. Start strong, fizzle. Gain it back. Start strong, fizzle. Gain it back then maybe a few more pounds in the process.

I’m happy to say now that I’m at my lowest weight in two years. Hopefully I keep this trend going and hit my old weight before I ate my way out of a dark fridge.

How’d I Do This So Far?

My initial weight loss of 12 lbs was from weight watchers. I lost 20 lbs, but gained eight back when falling off the wagon. I lost around 14 in the past two weeks or so.

I recently started a new job where I’m working on average 12 hours a day. Some days will be 8-10, or I may be kept over for as many as 16. But the average shift is 12.

The biggest thing that changed is I’m out on my own now and I just don’t have the money to spend on all the excessive alcohol and pizza that was a staple of my past diet.

The biggest thing has been just eating significantly less while being significantly more active. During the average 12 hour shift I’m on my feet the entire time unless I’m doing paperwork, or on my 30 minute lunch break. On average I walk 10 miles or more in a shift.

While on shift I don’t usually eat. I’ll have a red bull before I go in, then I drink about 20 bottles of water or more a day. On my lunch break I’ll have a quick sandwich, then a coffee and get back go it.

When home I’ll make a quick burrito bowl with chicken, rice, and all kinds of delicious goodies.

On my last work day of the week I treat myself to something delicious. Maybe a calzone, or fried chicken. I usually drink with my coworkers the next day. Then it’s back to normal eating.

I’m still trying to get the routine down, but I’m hoping this’ll work for me for a bit.

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How losing 185 lbs has changed how I am treated by myself and others.

I posted this progress picture earlier today, and somebody messaged me the following question and asked me to share my answer.

Background: My weight loss journey has been 5 years long, and had a lot of ups and downs. SW: 322, CW: 142. I just had 5 lbs of loose skin removed, and post-recovery, I should land at a maintenance weight of 132.

Question: I'm really curious to know your thoughts on how your life has changed since your weight loss. Have people treated you differently? Do you have sympathy or empathy for others? Has there been any eye opening epiphanies on the people around you or yourself?

My response: In terms of myself, I’ve always been very approachable/personable, but I used to be very shy, and I used to struggle more with my mental health issues. I’ve developed a lot of confidence in myself, and with running and intermittent fasting, I’ve completely changed how I treat myself. My self talk is almost always positive now. “Good job, keep it up, you can do it.” For example, yesterday I ate 3k calories because I didn’t use impulse control. Instead of putting myself down, hating myself, or feeling shitty (aside from the physical discomfort), I told myself “tomorrow will be better, you’ve got this.” I made myself step on the scale even though I knew I wouldn’t like the results today, and I treated myself with love anyway. On my walk today, I felt tired, but I encouraged myself. Overall, treating myself this way has made me a lot happier. I also don’t have to deal with the aches and pains of obesity, which also makes me feel better. I’ve been told that I seem much happier and carry myself better.

In regards to how other people treat me, after high school I haven’t felt a lot of overt negative treatment as an obese woman, but my fiancé and mother both have pointed out how people used to stare at me in public, and how now if I get attention, it’s much more positive. I’m a little oblivious to this. I also feel like people are more sympathetic. Twice today, I’ve had to have strangers bend over and help me pick something up. I feel like if I was obese, even if I had just gone through surgery, people would have been much less willing to help me, or judging as they did so.

My coworkers and other people I know personally or even vaguely comment a lot on how hard I work, so I know their perception of me has changed. I secretly wonder if this perception of me being a hard worker in my personal life affected my last performance review/promotion, even though I know my merit was ultimately the biggest factor.

The one person who hasn’t changed how they treat me is my fiancé. He loved me before and loves me the same now. He complimented my appearance at 300 lbs almost the same as he does now. The only difference is that struggles we had due to my weight (eg flying together) are gone. This definitely showed me how good of a man I have.

When I see to other obese people, I’m not gonna lie that sometimes I do pass a little judgement, because I know how much better their lives could be. This applies mostly to people who are eating to excess and healthcare providers, but my judgement comes from a place of pain, because I’ve been where they are. My biggest aspiration when interacting with people who have weight to lose is that I can inspire them to improve themselves. I always say “it’s simple, but I know it’s hard. I also know you can do it.” Everyone has to take a different path.

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NSV - didn't freak out when I went over my calorie count this week

Hey everyone, made a new account so nobody who knows me irl can link my weight loss to the ~saucy~ photos I post on my main. This is gonna be long, so I apologize.

Trigger warning: disordered eating, mental health stuff

I've pretty much always been obese with periods of relative thinness interspersed. I've always been fairly obsessed with my weight, just with varying levels of doing anything about it.

I've had success with weight loss before, but haven't managed to maintain it in a healthy way. I will now obsessively outline my weight gain/loss history, because I like numbers and oversharing and maybe some of y'all can relate.

When I was 6, I weighed more than 100 lbs. I was a pretty big/tall kid though. Fat, but not like alarmingly so I don't think. I remember reading a story in class about foot binding and remarking to my teacher that my feet were already too big because I wore a women's size 6. I was always the tallest kid in my class.

I didn't really think about my weight too much, until one day my paediatrician said 'congratulations fat kid name you're not gaining weight as fast anymore!' My heart began to race. I silently freaked the fuck out. From then on, my weight was mostly what I thought about.

Luckily, I was never bullied. Probably because I was ENORMOUS and could destroy anyone who tried. I was also smart and intimidating and soft spoken and kind, just deeply self conscious.

I don't remember when I decided to lose weight, but a few years ago I found a notebook in my room from when I was 10. I was 5'5 and 176 lbs. I wrote about how fat I was and how I wanted to lose weight.

So I come from a fat/tall family. I wasn't unusual. It was assumed I would grow up to be 6' and 250 lbs like some of my other female relatives.

However when I reached 12, crisis I realized I hadn't grown in height for about a year. I was stalled at 5'6. (Spoiler alert: much to my chagrin I did not grow taller), I also weighed 198 lbs. This was the end of the 7th grade. I vowed to lose weight.

I started with obsessively tracking my calories and staying under 1500 per day with the occasional binge. After I got down to 180 (after 2 months), I became lazy and just started restricting because it was easier.

I would eat 200 calories of cereal/soy milk for breakfast, a V8 and apple for lunch, then a smaller portion of whatever my family ate for dinner during the week, then would binge uncontrollably on the weekends. I got down to 160 about 6 months after I weighed 198. Then I didn't budge from there. I guess my weekend bingeing caught up to me/my dinners were pretty calorie heavy because I was also exercising a lot. I was taking on average 10k steps a day, had 3 intense gym classes a week, and was on the swim team and track team.

My eating habits weren't healthy. I was exhausted and hungry all day and would look forward to around 4pm when I guess my body would boost my blood sugar and I'd get all giddy and energetic.

I was obsessed with losing weight though. I still didn't feel that I was good enough. I began getting into (more) disordered eating territory. Not eating during the day, bingeing at night/on the weekends.

This continued until I was 15 then one day, I just snapped. I was on vacation with my family. I ate a sandwich for lunch. Then ate another. The ate a third. Then ate a fourth. Then I decided that eating during the day was actually a good idea, so did that. At this point I would also make myself throw up once in a while (would not recommend.) After a few months, I was 180 and stayed there for a while.

Then when I was 17, gym class wasn't mandatory anymore and my exercise went way down. I quit the swim team and only went to track practice like once a week. I was also in grade 12 so once I got into University, I became a laze and ate out a lot. By the time I was leaving for University, I weighed 220. 20 lbs more than I had vowed to ever weigh again.

But University food sucked and I had recently started a gluten/dairy free diet so my options were limited. I was also exercising a lot more sprinting drunkenly around campus on adventures at night. I lost 30 lbs in the first two months of my first year. I was 190 I was young. I looked hot! Going to University was a big change for me in how I saw my body. People were attracted to me! I got laid! A lot! I didn't feel ugly and worthless anymore like I did throughout my childhood. I maintained that weight for a while, fluctuating up and down a bit.

Then in my third year of University, I had a health crisis. I had a pulmonary embolism and could have died. After, I was constantly out of breath, would sleep for like 16 hours a day, and ate whatever I wanted trying to get energy. I never really recovered. My lungs were damaged so my ability to exercise was shot. I sunk into a depression and stayed there.

I got up to 230. I was still pretty hot though. I'd still get hit on at da club and stuff. However my mental health was not good. I reached a crisis and tried to kill myself a few times. No good.

I was hospitalized (aka lying in bed all day for months at a time, no bueno for weight gain and cardio) and put on medications with the side effects of weight gain and slowing your metabolism. Casually glosses over this period. IT WAS ROUGH Y'ALL. THINGS ARE MUCH BETTER NOW.

I got up to 275 last month. But then I decided I was a walrus human who got out of breath walking down the street and I no longer wanted to be a walrus human.

So I started tracking my calories. My goal is just under 1600 per day. The first week when I failed to stay under that target, I was devastated and felt myself falling back into disordered thoughts of being a failure, etc. I felt like shit. Then I was like FUCK THAT I AM A GREAT HUMAN THIS DOES NOT DEFINE ME positive self talk intensifies.

Sooooo this week I didn't beat myself up when I went over (and boooooy did I go over.) So that is my NSV lol. All this text for that!

Stats so far: 24, F, 5'6, goal of sub 1600 calories per day, went over most days, but still have lost 5 lbs in two weeks, and lost 2 inches from my waist.

My body type is mostly pear/hourglass with weight increasingly going to my stomach/back/arms over 230 lbs.

I'd like to get back to that sweet sweet waist:hip ratio of 0.6 I had when I weighed 160. (27 inch waist, 45 inch hips.) BUT I DIGRESS.

This is so long. Myyyyy bad.

TL;DR was stuck in some disordered eating/black or white thought patterns last week, but accepted that I don't have to be perfect to still move myself towards becoming healthier. Yay me!

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After health problems derailed me the last couple months, I’m finally past my “halfweigh” point to my first goal! Ftm, 5’7”, SW:247, CW: 211

Hi r/loseit! I started losing weight in October, but I hit some bumps in the road after the first of the year when I started having issues with abdominal pain. I had a bladder stone and digestive issues going on all at the same time and it made incredibly painful to eat vegetables or any type of fiber.

I’ve since had some other medical problems and my topamax dosage has been upped and the weight is coming off again! I’ve finally lost 36 pounds which is more than halfway to my first goal weight of 180! I am not one for progress pics but now I really want to take some. Attached are my weight loss graphs!

graphs

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