So I am a human and not a robot. Now that I'm aware of the problem of being overweight I want it fixed yesterday. We all know weight loss doesn't work like that. From the start of 2018 until now I have experienced the following things:
- Had a break up in Feb 20118 that messed me up a bit
- Provide live-in care for a close friend who ultimately passed of cancer
- Got made redundant from my dream job
- Lost another family friend to cancer (you know, the best mate of your Dad you call uncle, but he isn't your uncle? That guy)
- Work a minimum wage job to pay rent to make it through after applying for (in the end) around 80+ jobs
- Go back to full-time study
- Start a new relationship (few months in, seems to be going well!)
- Got diagnosed with ADHD
- Shaved my head for fundraising for cancer charities (I'm a woman with what was previously very very long hair, so it was quite a strange, fun, cathartic decision)
- Hit 89.5kg back in June 2018 and decide to make some changes
- Started bushwalking again. A lifelong passion that I had been previously neglecting
- Spend more time with a community group that I really value and did some fun projects with them last summer (I'm in Australia, so summer is Christmas time for me)
I'm not special. These are pretty standard life events for many people, both really super shit and also pretty good are up in that list. ADHD diagnosis was a huge positive revelation for me. We all have really intense shit going on in our lives. But last year, I did the Christmas Challenge Lose it organises and got down to 74.4kg. That was my target. For my height and weight somewhere around 66-69kg is optimum for me. But I've sat here at 74ish kg for the past 6 months. Just chilling. I've lost 15ish kg all told and that's huge. Sure, I've got around 7ish to go (I'm not into the exact number end goal, more about what 'feels' right), but it's not a sprint. So I've paused to maintain before the next push.
Maintaining is SUPER hard. Especially when you start dating someone new and it's exciting, so you want to go out and drink wine and eat cheese together. The temptation to get (what my brother calls) 'relationship fat' through food is pretty strong. But I eat sensible portions and go slow.
So I hang out here in Lose It. I read your stories. You (unknowingly) pump me up. Grief has been getting to me a bit recently. It was what should've been my friends birthday recently and grief hits ya hard. So, you might soothe with junk food, stay on the couch, wrap up in a blanket and weep a little. That's part of life and let yourself feel those things. Maybe you (like me) started with eating a whole large pizza in private shame. Now my grief looks like eating a cheese toastie with homemade soup or splitting a small pizza with my boyfriend and then eating some berries later if you're still hungry. It's still comforting, but not what it previously was and I feel better in myself for it.
I didn't really have a real reason for making this post, I just wanted to reach out to the community and say I see you. I see you making hard choices, but sometimes you're out of juice. That's ok. Think about the last year of your life. Make a list of the things you got through - both good and bad. Keep it in perspective. Instead of thinking "urghhhhh I've been losing weight for a year and I'm still not there!" I think about how far I've come and why I made the choice to go slow. I've heard about yo-yo dieting, not changing habits long term and how easy it is to fall off the posi habit train etc and I want it to be a change for my whole life, so it doesn't happen instantly. Instead of "I've still got 7 kg to go!" I think "Fucking hell I lost 15kg in 6 months last year! I'm 2 thirds of the way there!"
Other (unsolicited) advice from experiencing unemployment grief, family dying grief and relationship grief in the space of 18 months:
- walk around the block if you don't feel like a workout. It'll do heaps for your mental health
- leave the house every day. See above.
- Shower after you get back from your walk.
- the library is a nice place to visit with more than just books if you're poor. I eat when I'm sad and lonely. Books can be places to find new healthy recipes, magazines, community groups etc. I met a group to go on bush walks there and I see them every few months. Plus librarians have a rep for being harsh, but odds on you'll find someone there who likes a chat. I forgot about a book when my uncle died and got a huge fine on it. I was talking to the librarian to pay it and told him why and he wiped the fine. Then I cried I was so grateful. Then he made me a cup of tea and told me what he was reading at the moment and chatted to me about books. He totally saved that day for me and I see him there regularly and we have far more nice normal chats now and he never mentions the 'me crying' thing. He's a champ.
- Freeze soup in portions so you have a quick and easy healthy meal that you don't have to think about. You will be finished eating soup before the metaphorical pizza even arrives.
- I make constant bargains with myself. Eat the soup today, buy a long black at the nice cafe tomorrow and drink it in (not take away) and read their papers as a treat. "If you walk to that bridge and you still want to turn around, you can go home then". "You can't go finish this walk until you hear the end of this podcast"
- Ask your friends to go on a bushwalk/picnic on a certain day. If they can't make it, still do it on your own and then do it again with them when they're free. Being social helps my food habits and my mental health also helps my food habits, whilst still doing the thing is good for me and teaches me to be stronger on my own. Not everyone is free all the time, so do it regardless and then you'll become known for it. Friends ask me to go on bushwalks now instead of the other way around. I went for a walk with my boyfriend on Saturday and we saw a group of 5 teenage boys using the work out space in the park (my park has play equipment for adults) and part of their rest breaks on their circuit was cooking food on the BBQ. Then they all ate together at the picnic table between the gym gear and the BBQ. Honestly, it was so wholesome it inspired me to ask some of my friends to do the same thing this weekend.
- Get out of bed. Make your bed. Move to the couch instead. Don't go back to bed until bedtime.
- The community of r/NonZeroDay is really helpful. Sometimes it can be hard seeing people achieve their goals that seem so far ahead of you on loseit, even if you are happy for them. This community exists to support you through the hard times. Making your bed is an achievement and this space exists to support that.
I didn't really know what I was going to write here when I started. These are all the things that I've done to maintain my weight loss and not lost motivation long term. You get all jazzed at the start, then something shit happens and it trips you up. These things are what I do when I trip. And if you fall over, that's ok too. You've got that trip, give yourself a space to feel what you need and then get back up tomorrow. I believe in you and if I know anything about the Lose It space, they believe in you too x
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