I want to stop feeling like diet/exercise is a punishment

Hi everyone, I’m new to reddit, this is actually my first post. I’m 26, female, I weight 335, and I have PCOS.

I wanted to come here today for some help, and I felt like this thread would be most appropriate. I’ve been overweight my entire life, and I’ve been made to feel that shame for loving good food for as long as I can remember.

As a child, my mom resented my weight and tried everything she could to make me smaller (locking pantries/freezers, sending me to weight loss specialists, threatening me with fat camps, abusing me when she found food hidden in my room). Needless to say, all of those experiences just made me feel like I’m a fat lard and that diet and exercise is punishment for my lack of self control/natural ability to be thin.

Since I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that a lot of what happened back then wasn’t right, and that there are real benefits to weight loss/healthy lifestyle. BUT, It’s so hard to feel like it’s not a punishment having to sit down with a bowl of lettuce everyday, or sweating and gasping for air while all of the fat on my body is sloshing around during a mediocre attempt at some cardio.

I really want to give this an honest shot while I’m still young, and before I develop any illnesses due to my weight. I’m hoping there’s someone here that may have been or currently is in a similar spot and may have some advice to offer.

I guess some of my more basic questions are where do you start? What is a good eating plan? Are carbs THAT bad? What’s a good exercise idea/plan when you’re just starting? What do you do on the days when you’d rather die than eat diet food? How do you do all this while being nice to yourself? How do you stick with it when you aren’t losing what you thought you should? How to you do all of this and be happy about it?

Feel free to tell me anything: tips, tricks, advice, encouragement, suggestions, comments, stories, I’m down for any of it.

If you got this far, thanks for reading, I can’t wait to hear from you.

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