GIVEAWAY!! WIN a $50 gift card! Today is National Cheese Pizza Day! And I want to have a pizza party… but that’s hard to coordinate. So instead I’m giving 1 person a solo party in the form of a $50 gift card! (Okay they don’t have to have a solo party… but you know what […]
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I feel like this post might come off as vain, but I’m struggling to change these feelings. About the only body part I like right now are my breasts, and I’m worried that if I lose the weight, they’ll become saggy.
Thing is, I could accept it if my breasts were just naturally saggy (I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all). But I just can’t get out of the mindset of ‘if I had never let myself go, I would have the body I was supposed to have, not the body I will have post weight loss’. I just want the breasts I should have had if I’d have always been a healthy weight (or keep the ones I have now).
I know I’ll gain other things by losing weight, and this really shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is and it’s making me lose motivation to lose weight.
I’d really, really appreciate it if anyone could help me change my mindset!
So, one of my goals in me weight loss journey has been to improve my running ability. Ever since middle school, when we had to do the "mile run/walk" as part of PE, I was never really good at it. But, since starting my journey, I have doubled down on improving my ability to run--both sprinting and long distance.
To achieve that, I have been dedicating 2 days per week out of my 6 day exercise schedule to focus on running: M, T, R, F weight training, W and Sa cardio/running. When I started, I could only average 3mi/h, and through cardio specific HIIT (ex: 4 minutes fast walking @ 3.5mi/h, 1 minute running @ 5mi/h), I have progressed to 3 minutes fast walking at 4.5mi/h and 2 minutes of running at 6-6.5mi/h (increasing each interval). And whereas before, I could only keep my pace up for 45-50 minutes, I'm now at 93-97 minutes for each session!
All of this has led to yesterday, where I completed 7.03 miles in 97 minutes, with an average pace of 13'52", new 5k record of 39'11", and I wasn't completely dead afterwards!
(tinyurl contains pictures of my progress)
A friend had reached out to me and asked that I post here, and I decided that it was time to share with the world my own journey. It hasn't even been a year, though I am more than ready to show my results with you all.
The day was January 5th of 2019, a day that I remember all to well. I had just sat down at the computer after waking up to jump on World of Warcraft to play with my friends. Straight from the bed and into my computer chair. A great start for my 400 pound self, though this was the usual on my days off.
This had been nearly five days straight with a cold, and I couldn't shake it. Though today was different, my head was pounding and it hurt to even breath. Each breath I took I could feel an ache wash over my back, and so I complained as I sat in Discord with my online friends.
They begged and begged for me to go see a doctor(which mind you, never been a fan of the doctors) and make sure I was okay. Typically? I ignore any signs of being sick and just suck it up..that wasn't happening today. And so I got a shower..around 2 pm or so.(yeah, this was my life) Grabbed myself some pizza from the fridge for "breakfast" and a soda to go.
The next thing I know I am sitting in the medstop and the nurse says "You need to go to the emergency room right now." As she took my blood pressure, which was 194/119. I was rushed to the ER where my life would take a sudden change.
January 6th, 2019 -- I'm home from the hospital, though a very..very late night and I am trying to figure what to do with the information given to me from the hospital. It was phrased along the lines of "you are dodging bullets, you can only dodge for so long". I was scared for the first time..in a long time about my weight.
It had always been something that I've known was an issue..my diet was an issue, and my lack of doing.. anything besides sitting in front of a computer was wearing upon me. Though, at one point in my life? I stopped caring. I was uncaring about my health..and I accepted what my life had become.
My parents had begged and begged that I get weight loss surgery..but I ignored it. I kept saying "I will lose it my own way, I don't want surgery." Perhaps I should have gotten the surgery..but right now? I needed to work on getting my life in order.
So there I sat online, playing WoW and trying to figure out what to do. So I messaged someone I played with in my guild. This person and I, we never really got alone to begin with. In fact I personally hated them. But that being said, he knew his stuff when it came to exercise and dieting.
He gave me advise after I talked with him, and till this day? The best advise he gave me was "to make it public". Let everyone know about your weight loss, it will fuel you and force you to hold yourself accountable. It will hold others accountable as well.
January 7th, 2019 -- The first day, possibly the biggest struggle as I stood in the supermarket trying to figure out what to buy. "Stick to the outside while you are shopping. Vegetables and Protein". My life was changing all in one day. Tombstone pizza was my usual go too. Not to mention other terrible things that I could gorge myself on.
I stood valiant, and I was able to achieve shopping healthy for the first time in a long time. Exercise started today as well, and DDP yoga was my exercise of choice. I've done it before in the past..but I never stuck with it more than a week. Could I truly do this? I needed too. I needed to get my life in order..else I may not have a life.
Today(9/5/2019) - It has been a journey, back in January I had told my guildies that I was going to lose 80 pounds by October. I felt like it was something I could achieve. We had a trip and guild meet up during that time. And 100 would be my goal before January 7th of 2020.
Today I weigh in at 116 pounds less than I did back in January, and I am in the best shape I've been in a very long time. I've started doing intermittent fasting back in February and even do OMAD on weekends. My diet had changed, and it isn't even a chore to keep up with it; my diet is just part of my day too day.
Exercise has continued and I've even participated in two 5ks as well. Never would I have ever considered doing a 5k..but I absolutely love them. I'm happy, I'm active and best of all? I love who I am. I love myself, and I'm motivated to keep going no matter what.
I do want to thank everyone that has been a shoulder for me to lean on during this time in my life. I still have a long journey ahead of me, but for now? I am happy with my results. Anything is possible, you just have to put your mind too it.
Pictures: https://tinyurl.com/yyqa7bnn
Ok so I am proud that I’ve dropped from 247 to under 210. That’s 30lbs basically.
What I’m not happy about is my remaining body fat. I want to be 190 by December 25. I really WANT this.
How bad do I want it? Because I keep overeating anyway. I exercised enough to where I could probably be losing about 0.5lbs/week but I’d love to lose 1.5lbs per week or even 2.
Why am I not sticking to it?
I don’t know. I like Buffalo Wild Wings. I like beer. It’s a once a week thing. Also, I overindulge in treats sometimes.
I just want to stick to a consistent diet that results in a speedier weight loss. Even if I eat 100% healthy foods, I overeats those. I’ll boil eggs and eat all of those lol
I want to be the smallest I’ve ever been (I’ve been 194-200 before without muscle, I definitely have more now). So I’d love to feel that small except with more muscle!
Any advice for how to not overeat???? This is soooo annoying for me. I use food to cope it seems.
Idk I want a thick ass, slim waist. I’ve got the thick ass, my waist is just not where I want it. 😢
Halpppp
My evening habit has become reading journal articles on weight loss and sports nutrition. Buried in one of the articles were various formulas that have been created to account for the fact that fat loss is a nonlinear process and that the "3,500 calories burned = 1 lb of fat loss" is vastly oversimplified.
The article linked to a source, which in turn linked to this Body Weight Planner, which is a product of the National Institutes of Health (part of the U.S. Dep. of Health and Human Services). Congrats, US taxpayer, you've already covered the cost of making this.
I've logged about 80 days worth of data around my my weight loss. When I plug in my numbers and backdate everything, this planner very accurately aligns with my historical data. I enabled "expert mode" and toggled all of the "advanced mode" options and was able to dial in my body fat % (via a DEXA scan) and my activity level (based on my heart rate data).
Long-winded rant ahead.
I have lost 89 pounds in almost 13 months through healthy eating, calorie deficit, fasting, and mild exercise. Went from 230 pounds to 141 pounds. I still “cheat” here and there, like I did tonight, but I am strict with my lifestyle (I don’t like calling it a diet, because this is my life from now on) 95% of the time.
Here is the darker side to it. I am healthier than I’ve ever been. I am more confident. I feel like I can do just about anything I want. I have a pending start date for a full-time seasonal job at an Amazon fulfillment center and I know I will be able to do what is required because I’m fitter and won’t be out of breath after five minutes of lifting boxes. I have more options for jobs, clothes, and even relationships. This all came with a small, vain price: loose skin.
I am only 18 years old, yet I have plenty of loose skin, mostly on my belly. I like to joke around and pinch it and call it “dough.” I do that so no one (my mother, bless her heart) points it out first. Yes, I have loose skin! It’s saggy on my belly, wrinkly on my inner thighs, and just loose on my arms. I can wear crop tops but with high waisted shorts because the loose skin kind of flops over low waisted shorts and looks like I’ve just robbed a bakery of their bagel dough and stuffed it in my shorts.
I’m insecure about it because I’m 18! I’m vain and just wanna look like the other girls my age; that was half the reason I decided to lose weight in the first place. And plus, if I want to have a romantic or sex life, what girl my age is going to see the loose skin and still find me attractive? Nobody wants to see loose, saggy skin, even if it was caused by a good thing. So I should always have it covered.
Yesterday I said “screw that!” It is hotter than hell in Houston this week. For the first time ever, I went to the park to walk. I’ve been in my head for the past couple days because there was an error on my first drug test for Amazon, therefore I had to take another one and lost the shift I signed on for. Yeah, I’m a little stressed. So I decided to take a walk in the park to lose myself.
I drove there, parked the car, and took a walk on one of the quieter trails. At 3 pm. In the summer. In 103 degree heat. I was wearing sports shorts and a crop top with a sports bra underneath, and I had water with me, but good god, was I drenched after walking for thirty minutes. I went back and sat at a covered picnic table and drank some water, but I was SWEATING like never before.
I decided that was enough; even the runners left because it was too hot. I had walked a mile and cleared by head, I considered that a victory. I got back in the car with the AC full blast on me from both vents and it still wasn’t enough. My shirt was soaked. I had to take it off. I was in the car; it’s not like anyone could see my loose skin, right.
I drove home just like that. When I parked, I realized I had two options: put my wet, sweaty shirt back on and wear it soaked, or get out of the car in front of my neighbors who were outside, shirtless with my loose skin showing. It was scorching hot and so I said “who cares” and I got out shirtless. I’ve never shown anyone other than my mom and Reddit what I look like with my loose skin out in the open like that. I always keep it hidden because I’m so insecure about it.
But...it’s just skin. That’s all. I know it’s not pretty or attractive, but it’s just skin. And it’s skin I’ve “earned”, so to speak. Sometimes it feels like a punishment, but most of the time it just feels like something that comes with major weight loss.
I got up early this morning, put on my sports bra (shirtless), shorts, tennis shoes, and a light jacket. I went back to the park and I was determined to do the entire perimeter since it was only about 78 degrees. Eventually, at my 3-mile mark, I was very sweaty and the sun was beating down. Parents had to completely cover their babies in strollers and some people even took off their shirts. And there I was. With a jacket. I unzipped it just enough where the stuff in my pockets wouldn’t fall out. I let myself sweat out that way for the rest of my walk. When I finished and got back to my car to rest before heading out, I was HOT. I was like “why am I making excuses and reasons to NOT take my jacket off?”
There is no rule at the park that says you have to have a shirt. So really, nobody was stopping me from taking my jacket off but me and my insecurities. It’s high time I sucked it up and make a choice: sweat like a dog and get dehydrated, or take off your fucking jacket in this 85-degree heat. Who actually CARES if you have loose skin. Who’s really gonna be sitting there watching everybody else saying “that one has loose skin, that one shouldn’t wear that in public, that one’s shorts are too tight.”
And even if they did. . .so what. I’ll tell you, I was so thrilled to see people out working on themselves, getting healthy, spending time with their kids, having fun, that I didn’t even care what they were wearing or how their bodies looked. Because it’s simply no one’s business. We’re all trying to get somewhere in life. I’m at the finish line, and my only consequence is having extra skin. I’m really so tired of hearing people (my mother) commenting on it, saying I NEED a tummy tuck or plastic surgery to fix it. I don’t NEED anything. It’s not life-threatening or a medical condition. This is all mind over matter. Once I stop being so afraid of what people could POSSIBLY think of it, I’ll live a better, stress-free life.
In the future, if my skin doesn’t tighten at all or I start to really hate it, maybe I’ll consider surgery. Right now I have the benefit of youth on my side. Maybe my skin will shrink a bit with exercise. Maybe it won’t and I’ll be stuck with this. Maybe I will have only the skin on my belly removed. But that’s no one’s business or choice but my own. I’ve been pressured by more than two people to get removal surgery or a tummy tuck. I’m not putting myself through that if I don’t need or want to. I’m not obligated to alter parts of my body for ANYBODY except myself. My mom didn’t make the choice for me to lose weight. I did. Strangers at the park didn’t make the choice for me to exercise there. I did.
I have to own what I have. It was hot by the time I was done walking, so I completely took my jacket off and chilled under the shade in just my bra. And lo and behold, not a single person gave me a second glance. They were, ya know, minding their business. It really is all in my head. And even if someone did say something or looked at me funny, I’m not breaking any rules or hurting anyone. Just keep on moving with myself.
On another note, I was so happy to see all types of people with all types of bodies walking and running today. If you were one of them, good for you! If you just started exercising and can only do a little right now, keep it up! Even if you can run 5 miles every single day, good for you! I just checked my health app on my phone (I know they aren’t always accurate but it’s all I have right now, anybody recommend a Fitbit?), and my rough estimated walking distance for today is 4.4 miles. I broke a barrier today. I have every reason to be proud.
Keep your head up.
