I've considered making posts like this but always delete it part way through writing it for whatever reason. Someone else just made a post with encouraging words and by chance were addressing almost exactly what I'm dealing with. I lost about 70lbs a few years ago and have since since gained back a little more than half and mentally it has been very difficult. I'm struggling to get back on track to where I was for a myriad of reasons and I thought writing out the realizations or pieces of advice I've given others when they've asked how I was successful might help myself a bit and maybe someone else the process. Some of these are very common things that I realized were very true, some are things I found just worked for me.
In no specific order....
- Don't set yourself up for failure/Don't "jump into the deep end" - Trying to overhaul your whole diet and fitness routine overnight is extremely difficult and probably not sustainable and a big reason I've seen some of my friends fail. Starting with a couple small things to help build habits will probably have a longer lasting affect. Do you drink a ton of soda? Start by cutting out or start reducing soda. Do you eat fast food or eat out a lot? Start by cutting out fast food or at least cooking a few more meals a week. Do you sit around a lot? Dedicate an evening/morning to go for a walk. I guarantee you some friends will want to go on a walk also. You addicted to that game? Cool, do some pushups or get some weights and do some curls or tricep extensions every time you die or during dialog scenes. Start small, work your way up all your meals being healthy and hitting the gym every freakin day.
- It's a marathon, not a race -You're not going to lose all the weight overnight, 1-3lbs a week is normal and healthy, it can be frustrating because you want to lose so much so fast. Sometimes the scale won't go the way you want and that's ok too. Scales can be assholes. Also, don't weight yourself everyday, you'll go crazy. Weight yourself once a week, or even once every two weeks so you can see that progress a little more.
- Finding what doesn't work is as important as finding what works - I had a couple friends who were able to successfully lose weight by counting and tracking calories to keep a deficit and not much else. It's a great, proven way to lose weight, and I absolutely recommend trying it. I tried it, several times, and failed each time. I was always terrible with homework in school, for me this felt like homework, it was a chore and killed my motivation. You definitely need to know that what you're eating is healthy, so you do need to do some research, or meal preps, but, having a solid rotation of healthy meals you can always turn to if you don't want to think about can make a big difference. I was able to eat healthy the majority of the time.
- Weight is lost in the kitchen, not the gym - When I was successfully losing weight, I heard more than a few times something along the lines of "I want to lose weight but I don't have time to workout", Unless you're Michael Phelps and you're burning 13 billion fuckin calories a day from Olympic level training, whatever you do in the gym isn't going to matter if you're eating like shit. Don't get me wrong, working out or just being more active is important, it definitely helps with weight loss, it makes you feel better both mentally and physically, but you can eat more calories in seconds than you can burn in hours. If you're someone who can go to the gym every day, or will play games for hours, instead of gym or games one day, meal prep. Put on some music, put on a show, and cook some shit.
- Recognize your habits - What kind of good/bad habits do you have that you can work with or need work at improving? I can be kind of competitive, doing a weight loss competition with some family and friends helped me a lot. For food, It wasn't TOO difficult to get in the habit of choosing healthier food, but how MUCH I ate has always been an issue, I made sure when I cooked I made a bunch of extra of the healthier things, i.e. Make one chicken breast, but make a SHITLOAD of broccoli or cauliflower or whatever the veggie was that day so i'll eat a lot more of that.
- Try not to think of it as a "diet" - You're changing your behaviors, you're making better choices to improve your lifestyle in ways that will improve you. It doesn't have to thought of as this "diet" that you can fail. It's something you're constantly working towards.
- If you're having cravings, put a little "bad" on something good - You fuckin tired of broccoli or veggies all the time? Chicken breast getting boring? That's understandable. Put some cheese or ranch or something on those veggies here and there, put some sour cream in that taco salad. You're rarely going to be perfect, if it's not great, putting that bad sauce or topping on that healthy thing, is a better option than putting that same bad sauce or topping on fries, or onion rings, or burgers.
- "Cheat days/meals" are totally ok, just don't have Cheat weeks - Don't torture yourself, eat that decadent meal here and there. As long you aren't having cheat weeks, one snack, or meal, or day, is NOT going to ruin your overall progress. If you know you're eating healthy all the time and working out, you don't even have to sweat that one cookie at the office or that meal out with friends, or those few drinks you had that concert. It's ok to enjoy that holiday meal, or that meal on vacation. I would also try to pick and choose when I had my random cheat moments, helped the mental side for me also. Someone throws a birthday party at work, and they buy cheap shitty, dime a dozen cupcakes from your local grocery store? PASS! and I'm proud I had the will power to pass on it! Someone throws that same birthday party but buys fancy AF cupcakes from that local baker, yeah that's a little more worth having that cheat moment. Same goes for any kind of food, as always, as long as it's not an everyday thing.
- Give your self rewards for hitting goals/milestones , just don't make those rewards food - You're trying to improve your relationship with food, you're already dealing with eating better, and cheat days, your main reward is being healthy and happier, don't make the reward something that goes against it. You made it halfway to your goal weight? Fuckin awesome, go get some new clothes or shoes, book a small trip, buy some concert tickets, buy some sex toys, buy or do something to reward those efforts that doesn't go against it.
- You're on your own - Ok not really, pretty much everyone is going to have some friends or family that support them in some way, If you're lucky enough to have people around you that support you, help you, maybe are even eating healthy and doing workouts with you, that can be an HUGE difference maker, but they won't be next to you all day every day, and even if they are, they can't lift that weight for you, or walk up that hill for you, you still have to do it. You have to teach yourself better habits to follow even when nobody else is around. If you plan to go workout with someone and they have to cancel, you can still go workout. If your SO has been helping you lose weight and you guys break up, are you going to stop improving and blame them for gaining weight back? Or are you going to keep losing and make them jealous AF when you see them again later at some random event?
- People at the gym don't give a shit what you're doing - That's basically it. It's easy to be self conscious while you're there or overthink stuff, but as long as you're not hogging a machine by sitting on it on your phone and not using it at all, people don't care. If you don't know how to use a machine or do an exercise, most gyms have trainers that are willing to help really quick, or Google/Youtube have tons of videos that can show you proper form.
- This is for you, you don't owe shit to anyone - I know this can be difficult for some based on the dynamic of your friends and family, but you don't have to explain or justify what you're doing to anyone. Some people might try to sabotage you because they see their own insecurities when you start to succeed. You don't have to explain it as a diet, or weight loss, it can just be a thing you're doing. You can decline that food from family or friends without explanation, or usually just a "I'm already full" comment works. This can be a life changing improvement for you, If you find someone that doesn't support you doing it or even worse, is acting against it, consider what this person means to you and why they would be doing that.
- Don't talk or post about what you're doing on Social Media - This probably isn't for everyone, but I found posting about it and talking about threw me off track. Getting all those likes, and "Good job" comments gives you serotonin boost and for some can give you that false or inflated sense of accomplishment and for me, made me take my foot off the throttle without even realizing it. Friends and family noticing your progress in person will go a lot further.
Hopefully this helps someone. Will probably add more later.
