Doing well so far without clear motivation, but scared to fall off the wagon because of it

Hey everybody! 25M, H:175cm, SW:110kg, CW:88.5kg, GW:72kg lurker here!

Title says all but nevertheless here's some long-ass backstory:

I have been overweight/obese since I was in 3rd grade. I had reached 103kg in highschool in 2011 when my friend introduced me to street dance, and since then I fell in love with dancing. One of the dancer I admired on Youtube lost a lot of weight, hence I was motivated to start my weight loss journey. After about 6 months, I managed to lose around 20-25kgs, but without proper knowledge of nutrition and just did it by eating less and practicing more.

University came by and the weight started to creep in again. Reached about 95kg in early 2014 when I decided to lose weight again because I didn't like how I looked, and this time I was equipped with free student gym memberships and MFP. I did CICO, cardio and weight lifting and lost about 20kgs in about 4-5 months (got a relative who's into fitness and got some neat advice).

Sounds good right? Except I was so obsessed with numbers, both in MFP app and on the scale, and some days I would starve myself with small portion of salad at night. No knowledge of macro-nutrients in the slightest. It was unhealthy despite the weight loss success.

Feeling good about losing weight for the second time, I entered workforce in 2015. I managed to keep the gym habit but not much CICO. I managed to maintain my weight within 80-90kg range (gaining and losing constantly) up to the end of 2017.

Entering 2018 was when all hell broke lose. Work and social stresses, personal issues etc. made me lose motivation to work out. I stopped my gym membership mid 2018 and was just eating whatever. 85kg increased to 90kg, 95kg, 100kg and eventually I reached my max around April or May 2019, which is at ~110kg. Reason of weight gain, in short: BINGE.

June 2019 I decided to lose weight again, but different from last time I didn't have a clear motivation. I just suddenly wanted to do it out of nowhere. As of now, I am down to 88.5kg by doing almost the same thing as last time but with more knowledge on nutrients and less restrictive measures. It might be still slightly too fast but I lost about 1.1kg per week in average without feeling starved.

I know I'm currently doing better than my previous attempts, but the unclear motivation kinda baffles me. I am scared that I might return to my old binging ways. Sharing my story here to know whether anyone else has ever have this experience before and would love to know some suggestions on losing and maintaing weight!

In any case, I wish everyone good luck in their journey to lose weight!

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Too small for CICO???

So I’m a pretty small person, only 5’ tall. This means that my TDEE is only 1450. That makes a 500 cal deficit pretty unhealthy since anything under 1200 is generally frowned upon. Any suggestions on how to keep up weight loss besides a 250 cal deficit? I’m doing that right now, but it halves the speed of the process and I’d love to do what I can to supplement it and speed it up.

For context (and to not get flagged as having to short of a post) my start weight is 115lbs. Theoretically my goal is to get to 100, but I don’t really care much about the number as much as I do losing the belly fat. Should I worry about the calorie deficit or should I worry more about body recomposition? And if so, how should I go about that? Thanks!

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Tips on dieting as a 4'11 woman

I'm 4'11 and currently weigh 115 lbs. 115 doesn't seem like a lot, but on my frame it is. I would ideally like to lose 15 pounds but 10 is the goal right now.

I used to go to the gym a lot but given my schedule, I just don't want to have to fit it into my schedule and if I'm being honest, I don't like going to the gym. So I stick to eating less for weight loss.

The problem is that I don't know how to diet! Even though I'm small, I can literally eat as much as my 6'2 boyfriend but it makes me gain weight. I love food!

How many calories should I eat per day? I would like to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks ideally. According to the internet, my BMR is 1340.

Should I try intermittent fasting? Does what I eat even matter as long as I stay under a certain number of calories? And since I'm already 115, is it going to take me longer than 10 weeks to lose 10 pounds? Can I train my body to stop being hungry all the time? Any info would be appreciated!

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UPDATE: I Did It! But I Am Not Finished Yet

Original Post

Quick version for those who don't want to read the original post: On June 1, I stepped on the scale and I was very happy to see the number 325 lbs on it. I knew that I needed to make a change. I made a goal for myself to lose 75 lbs by my wedding which is on March 31st. I knew that it was doable, but also a very large undertaking since I had struggled to find motivation in the past to actually lose the weight. Now my motivation was my fiance.

Fast forward to today and I step on the scale and finally see the number that I have been waiting to see: 250 lbs. I am so excited to have finally met a weight loss goal that I set and a pretty big one at that. I feel so much better. My self esteem is much higher, my energy levels are definitely higher, and I finally like what I see in the mirror. I am a lot stronger than I used to be and can actually see muscle tone on my body that I have never seen before.

Since I have met my goal earlier than anticipated, I am going to set a new goal that I want to lose 25 more pounds by the wedding to make it an even 100 lost. It is definitely doable at this point. I haven't yet decided what I want my final weight to be, but probably around 200 lbs. We will see when I get closer.

Anyways, I felt very accomplished today and just wanted to thank this sub for community and support. Trust me when I say if I can do it, anybody can do it.

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Cheers!

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how do i beat my skinny fat?

hi there !!! im not really sure how to introduce this, so here are my stats!

im 5'5, 112-115lbs (my weight fluctuates alot) and im a lightly active female student who burns around 230 calories a day being active and i burn 1300 naturally. im currently maintaining my weight at 1500 calories!

i really love my body, all of it except one part. the dreaded skinny fat. i have a small tummy pouch! it's gotten less visible but it's still there. a tiny little tummy line that bothered me aloot. i thought that it would go away with my weight loss (30lbs) but boy o boy was i wrong.

it's pretty much the only thing im insecure about, and i was wondering if you guys have any tips and tricks to lose the fat? sorry if these types of questions aren't allowed here!

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How many people here had to quit smoking weed?

I see a lot of posts about quitting/lowering alcohol use going hand in hand with weight loss, but for me, no longer smoking weed was a HUGE factor. I was a daily smoker for many, many years and tried a lot of ways to combine being a stoner with losing weight. Waiting to smoke weed until the end of the day when I was in bed, making sure there were healthy foods in the house, telling myself that this time I just WASN'T GOING TO, trying different strains to see if there was one that didn't give me the munchies.

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And in the end, that shit just did not work. Sometimes I'd eat the fruit I'd cut up... but usually afterwards, I'd go snooping through the cupboards for everything else I had. I could keep just healthy food in the house, but stoned me could turn ANYTHING into a binge food, and if there wasn't anything at home I'd figure out a way to get takeout.

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In the end, I just had to accept that stoned missingpixie did not give a shit about me, my goals, my weight, or how I felt waking up the next day. If I wanted to be healthy and lose weight I couldn't let her pilot my body every night.

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It's a lot easier now. I don't really think about it much. But it was really tough at first. Smoking weed was a big part of my life since my early teens and in a sad way, had really become part of my identity. I struggled making friends without drugs and to a certain extent still do. It was one less coping mechanism. I had to get readjusted to going to sleep sober which was fucking ROUGH at first.

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I still very occasionally smoke weed, but do so with the mindset of "are you okay with having a night of eating too much", and only smoke weed if I'm okay with that. I don't keep it in the house. I'm the type to smoke it every day until it's gone if I have it around.

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Quitting weed has been one of the most important steps for weight loss, and I think staying that way is probably the only way my weight loss is going to be permanent. How about y'all?

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It stopped hurting so much.

So I’m fortunate enough to have an awesome roommate who is a physical science major and made me a specialized plan for weight loss. I started doing it- and the cardio portion was running at 3.0-.5 and two or three minutes of 5.5 (mph) speed in intervals. I started, and I fell of the wagon because each time I did it- it felt like I was going to die. Just the one minute of 5.5 would take everything out of me. I could feel my body aching, and begging for me to stop. I compared it to machinery to my friend. She exercises often and is in good shape and she says she likes to exercise. I told her it was like she was running an oiled well kept machine - in comparison to my body that Rusted, and malfunctioning. This sent me into a like three week depression, and two nights ago- the depression was getting even worse so I grabbed a friend and we went to the gym at 6am,so it could be just the two of us. I was shocked when I went into the 5.5 that it didn’t hurt nearly as much as it did before- and I wasn’t continuing the seconds until it stopped, or gasping for air like a fish or something. Then I went again today, and it was easier- tiring but doable. I have some more hope again.

TLDR; after falling off of the wagon- I found it’s getting easier to exercise.

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