Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Day 15 of 90: Gaining Confidence

My first post here was horribly depressing. We've all definitely been there though. I just wanted to give a mini-update.

Eating well and actually using my body is giving me a whole new sense of confidence. I feel strong; I feel less junky. The weight loss is nice (almost 10 lbs down btw), but you know what's nicer? Going from being exhausted from lifting 5 lbs to knocking out 20 lb bench presses, hiking and cooking healthy dinners with my friends instead of just going to the bar, not constantly comparing myself to other girls.

In my first post, I said I'd have to lose 40 lbs just to be "normal". That's not true; I'm already normal, just a little chubby. My goal weight is to be healthy, strong and happy with what I see in the mirror, and WHOO BOY, I am gaining on 'em fast ❤

I know we're all trying to lose weight, but let's remember we're also trying to better ourselves. We can't hate ourselves better.

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So much confusing gym advice

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here but hopefully, this will be cathartic for all of us. I'm about 380 right now and I'm easily the biggest guy at my gym. This doesn't bother me as I'm normally the biggest guy in any room. I also apparently have a face that screams out to people "Talk to this guy!" If you're a weirdo at a bar I'm the dude you have to talk to. Again this doesn't bother me, it's been this way my whole life and I'm very used to it. I generally don't ever talk about working out or weight loss with people in casual conversations. My weight is easily one of the least interesting things about me. I get tons of unsolicited advice on diet as I'm sure all of you do as well. Mostly I just nod and say thanks.

I've been going to the gym for the past three months. I haven't seen massive changes but I enjoy going. I'm trying to get into a workout plan that works for me but haven't found it yet. However, plenty of people around the gym have offered advice and I wanted to share their advice with you.

"You really don't even need to bother with the gym until you lose 100 pounds from just diet alone. "
"You really shouldn't bother with the stationary bike. Those are for people who want to pretend to lose weight while changing as little as possible about what got them fat in the first place."
"The elliptical machine is a waste of time unless you plan on spending at least an hour on it"
"When you want to get serious about weight loss you'll run miles on the treadmill"
"Circuit training is for old women"
"Don't bother with the weight machines. Just do free weights"
"Your form is terrible, maybe work out on the machines until you get stronger"
"Use the Smith Machine"
"Don't use the Smith Machine"
"Yoga is a waste of time when it comes to weight loss"
and my all-time favorite:
"Just Eat Clean Bro"

So if you're keeping track that rules out basically the entire gym. I'm sure a lot of you also have also gotten horrible gym advice. Hopefully, it didn't dissuade you from going to the gym. I plan on going and just smiling and nodding while I find what works best for me.

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The closer I am to my goal, the hungrier I feel

The closer I am to my goal weight, the harder I’m finding staying in a deficit. Which is strange since someone who’s smaller needs less calories than someone who weighs more, that’s just science isn’t it? I still feel hungry all the time. Even when I eat a 100 or so over, I stop but that doesn’t mean I’m satisfied.

I’ve also found that my weight loss has slowed so much because of this, and it feels like it’s taking an eternity to reach a point where I can eat at maintenance. Has anyone else gone through this?

I feel like I constantly think about food. Surely this isn’t healthy at all, whether or not I give in to my urges.

I’m walking a fine line right now and could really use some perspective.

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On the verge of giving up...

Many people here have been sharing their success stories. I am in need of help too. I am feeling like giving up now, after struggling for almost 5 years. But even if I want I can't give up on this. I'm stuck in my own mindset, lost all hopes energy and motivation but still can't accept myself this way. Any help and words of kindness is appreciated.

Here's a little background about my journey.

I have been on a weight loss struggle since age 21. I'm turning 26 in January. Back then at age 21-23 I couldn't take any action but see myself getting heavier as I was too caught up in my education. I did't had any time for myself, no friends and no social life. I had to study upto 14 hours a day and there were exams after every 6 months. I was a meritorious student since my school and due to immense expectations and pressure accompanied with exam failures I developed anxiety, anger issues and depression. I had a terrible relationship with me and with my parents, being an only child made matters only worse for me. At this time I developed binge eating disorder. I used to remain at my home and study day and night for months and food was the only variety in my monotonous life,so it became my boredom killer. When I turned 23 I was finally able to dump that course and found success in another, more qualitative career which I really like.

I came out of depression, and so ended all that continuous phase of binging, but I still have occasional emotional eating/binging and overeating episodes, and a terrible relationship with food to this day. I also have been suffering from a severe acne for the last 12 years, and have developed severe inferiority complex. Despite on receiving compliments on how I look but I cant seem to accept them. As a person having social anxiety, my weight and my acne is making matters only worse for me.

Now, I have been on a weight loss journey on and off since 2018 july and till now I've managed to lose just 22 lbs.My SW was 187 and GW is 121. I weigh 165 lbs as of today.

Initially my only motivation to lose weight was to be able to fit into my favorite clothes, while this remains the very core of my driving force to this day, but weight loss for me is now elevated above this thing. I see this as a failure on the part me me as a person, I often question myself, If I cant do a small thing like this for me what else I can do in life ? I still hate myself for doing wrong to me, my relationship with myself has improved but, I'm still having self hatred issues just because of my weight. I'm getting older and I just don't want to live like this.

I just want to ask that how you remained positive when your weight loss struggles don't seem to be successful despite doing everything right. Plus how do you manage to remain consistent over the time, what made you keep going ? My problem is that I cant remain consistent, I am an all or no approach person, either I give my 100% or -100%, which means at times I do everything that I shouldn't, No matter how intense my desire to lose weight is, it still can't fuel me up to remain consistent. I can't understand what makes me do self sabotaging behavior, I continually hate myself but cant change this behavior over the years. Because of this I get results but very slowly. I have tried many diets and approaches. Exercise is no more a problem for me, I have managed to change my perspective over it, from a kind of punishment for my heavy weight to a form of self accomplishment and a hobby. But my relationship with food is still keeping me away. I'm just fed up of myself now. I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating myself.

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Get Toned Arms for Holiday Parties—Fast!

It’s that time of year: You’re starting to receive invitations to holiday parties. And as soon as you say yes, you ask yourself, What am I going to wear? Well, this year, thanks to all the hard work you’ve put in on your weight loss program, you’re ready to show off with a little black dress. And why not? You’re looking great, and you have the confidence to carry it off. You can be sure you completely rock the look by starting to do some toning exercises for your upper arms now. You’ll have toned arms in no time if you perform some of these simple moves each day. Start with just one minute, then work your way up to a total of five minutes each day, total.

Overhead Arm Circles: This is for your upper arms and shoulders. Put both arms straight overhead; lock your elbows. Pointing your fingers toward the ceiling, slowly make 1o small clockwise circles with both arms. Then slowly make 10 large clockwise circles. Repeat until you’ve done fast, slow, large and small circles in both directions.

Side Arm Circles: This is also for your upper arms. Put both arms straight out to your sides, level with you shoulders, so you make a giant T. Do the same exercises described above: big and small circles, fast and slow, backward and forward.

Can Curls: This is for your biceps. Head to your kitchen cabinets and grab two cans of soup or vegetables. Hold one in each hand, and hold your elbows in tight at your sides. Slowly curl both cans up to your shoulders, then lower. Repeat 10 times; build up to 20 repetitions before increasing the number of sets. Too easy? Use bigger cans, or fill a water bottle and curl that.

Kitchen Dips: This is for your triceps, the back of your upper arm. Stand with your back to your sink, and reach both hands behind you so you’re gripping the edge of the sink. Put your feet a comfortable distance in front of you, and put as much of your weight as you can on your heels. Slowly bend your elbows and lower your butt toward the floor, then push back up. As this gets easier, move to lower surfaces, like the bathtub.

 

 

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From SAD to Good: Combating Seasonal Affective Disorder

Feeling a little more tired, a little less patient and a whole lot of blah? It’s understandable—the combo of colder weather and shorter days can dampen anyone’s spirit. But for some people, this time of year triggers changes that go way beyond a funk: Experiencing significant fatigue, feeling sad on most days and sleeping more than usual all point to seasonal affective disorder (or SAD), a clinical form of depression, according to experts at the American Psychological Association. The symptoms are exactly the same as those of major depression, and can include losing interest in activities, having a hard time concentrating, more irritability, cravings sweets and starches, and weight gain. The only difference is SAD follows a seasonal pattern, with symptoms starting in the late fall and early winter, and improving in the spring.

How to Banish a Bad Mood

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If you find yourself struggling around the changing season and suspect you suffer from SAD, talk to your health provider. Your doctor may run tests to rule out underlying medical conditions, or refer you to a mental health profession for a psychological evaluation. The bright side: There are things you can do to ease symptoms; here are some to consider:

Light Therapy
How it works: You sit near a specialized light box that shines a controlled amount of bright light mimicking natural outdoor light, and appears to help re-balance brain chemicals linked to mood, explains the Mayo Clinic. A mental health professional can help adjust the timing and dose of light to your specific needs and body rhythms. This is important because if used incorrectly, light therapy may strain your eyes, give you a headache or make you agitated.

Talk Therapy
It helps you first identify, and then change, negative thoughts and behaviors that make symptoms worse; plus, you learn healthy ways to cope with SAD and manage the stress of the condition. Research published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that a SAD-tailored version of cognitive behavioral therapy, or talk therapy, was more effective at preventing relapses in future winters, when compared to light therapy.

Are You Getting Enough Vitamin D?

Read More

Get Outside
Take a long walk, even on brisk or cloudy days—and try to do it in the morning within two hours of waking up for the most benefit, according to the Mayo Clinic. Outdoor light can help ease milder symptoms.

Work Out
Physical activity can help reduce stress and anxiety, both of which increase SAD symptoms.

Ask About Medications
Your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant if your case is severe; he or she may also recommend starting treatment before symptoms typically begin, and continuing past when they dissipate. It may take several weeks to notice full benefits from an antidepressant.

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I've been frustrated that the scale hasn't been moving, but I found out today that there was a reason for that

This past month I've been really frustrated with my weight, especially since I've put in more effort into monitoring what I eat and exercise more. Yet, the scale hasn't moved much, at one point I was even back at my heaviest and I couldn't explain it.

2 weeks ago I noticed that my belly was getting bigger, even though I've definitely been eating less, doing IF and working out 3-4 times a week. I thought maybe I needed to work harder on losing belly fat so I decided to challenge myself to doing 100 sit ups before going to bed.

Less than a week ago, while I was lying on the ground after completing my 100 sit ups for the day, I felt a hard mass in my lower abdomen/pelvic region. At first I didn't think about it too much, as I thought maybe I'm just a bit gassy. But in the next few days, that mass was still there. I shouldn't have done this but I googled my symptoms, and let me tell you, GOOGLE IS NOT A DOCTOR.

I finally got the courage to tell my mom that I needed to see an OB-GYN, and that's probably the best decision I've made.

Just got back from the hospital not too long ago, and turns out I have a giant fibroid (kinda like the size of a giant water balloon) thats sitting in my lower abdomen, and I will have to undergo surgery to get it out. At least it's good to know that it's not cancerous and it's not causing any pain. I still have a few checkup to do before scheduling that surgery but I guess it's a relieve to know that there's a reason why the scale hasn't been moving.

Hopefully this surgery will go well, so that I can resume my weight loss journey. For now I think I need to be less harsh and take better care of myself first.

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