I can't really share this with people IRL because I did have anorexia many years ago and people tend to freak out on me when I tell them I'm trying to lose weight even though I reached the overweight category for my BMI, almost obese.
I put off even trying to lose weight for years because of my ED history, I was so worried. I had maintained 58kgs/127lbs at 5"5 after recovery and feel I look great at that weight. However, stress eating/emotional eating due to chronic pain and fatigue really messed me up; I gained 19kgs over three years and started losing at 77kgs.
Today I am 72.5kgs! Never in my life have I lost weight in the healthy way. I have dropped a lot before but always at the expense of my mental and physical health. Not this time!
I feel like a different person. Even though I've only lost 4.5kgs so far, I am so much more confident. I train with a personal trainer twice a week, try to walk everywhere, play Just Dance and I am planning on adding a couple more gym days. I just wanted to share what has really helped me stick to this after years of terrible habits and a lot of shame.
I'm eating delicious food! In the past when I dieted, I ate...bad food. Or I ate 800 calories of white bread and jam and nothing else. Yes...it was terrible. Other times I would only ever filil up on fruit and vegetables...also awful. This time part of my weight loss has been a cooking adventure! I've made butterbean mash instead of potato to add protein, I made so many dals and curries. I stew fresh fruit every week to eat with porridge and seeds for breakfast, it is so delicious! I swapped my regular milk coffee to almond milk. I have barista made every day, it's my luxury and I savour it every time. I haven't even avoided oils and fats, in fact, I use them liberally. As I'm vegetarian, my main meals are often lentils, beans, or chickpeas + vegetables. But rather than steaming them, I make delicious creamy curries. I use coconut milk. If I was choosing food based on calories alone, I'd never eat coconut milk. But all of my cooking is so low fat and fresh, I feel like coconut milk and lots of oil to saute my veg is ok. While I'm restricting my calories to around 1300, I am not avoiding any foods, just trying to make sustainable and healthy choices. I don't feel deprived at all, because each meal still tastes good and not like 'diet food'
How did I never realise that the best diet is one I can keep up? I used to punish myself so much, it was a horrible process. Not this time. I go over my limit surprisingly often by 100 or so calories. But I'm active every day, and I don't factor in calories used in exercise. The main thing is if I feel ravenous (especially as the weather is cooling down where I live) I let myself eat more. I don't beat myself up about it. I just think...well it's ok to eat a bit more today cause it's what my body wants. And it's...working O_O?! I never considered just sticking to something reasonable. I can't believe how different my experience is.
Seeing a psychologist helped more than seeing a dietitian (This is my #1 recommendation)The dietitian was helpful, she gave me confidence. But the thing is, I mostly knew what to do in theory. Therapy is what really changed my approach and life regarding weight loss. I didn't even talk about weight loss to the psychologist, I talked about my choices, handling stress, not being too hard on myself, accepting bad days, accepting the pain and fatigue I feel. Overall I am so much less stressed and so much more forgiving of myself. I can also be more flexible with my thinking. I'm so surprised that a psychologist helped me so much on a weight loss journey without ever mentioning weight. It's something I really recommend! I did a particular kind of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, I recommend it highly. To me, this is so perfect for a weight loss journey.
It is incredible that I put myself through hell for a decade. Sometimes just starving, sometimes exercising for 4 horrible hours a day while starving...and now I am losing weight and having a positive amazing experience. Even though I'm still a few kgs overweight, I feel so much more confident. I hold my head high, I don't look in the mirror and hurl insults at myself. I feel powerful at the gym even though I'm a total weakling. The process is just...enjoyable.
I even got through a 10 day stall on the scale by eating way more carbs for a couple of days, as I heard it may help me 'whoosh'. It did! I would never have been flexible enough to dare trying that previously.
Anyway if you read this far, thanks. I know my weight loss isn't too impressive a number but given my history, I'm chuffed. Thanks to r/loseit you have helped me so much. I read every day for motivation and inspiration.
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