Being called big by ‘well meaning’ relatives as a child does so much damage

Honestly wish more people understood how damaging it can be to call a child fat, chubby, big etc. One because it’s largely out of their control. And two, more often than not it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You see yourself as a fat person and that’s it, that’s who you are - and subconsciously you start behaving accordingly. Eating more (comfort eating due to low self esteem), avoiding sports because ‘I’m too big’, illogical crash dieting, which just leads to more weight gain. When otherwise if no one had said anything and bruised your self esteem you may not have gained anymore weight at all. The ‘slightly chubby’ child to actually fat adult pipeline is so common.

And even when you do have periods of lower weight, or you have had a successful weight loss journey it’s impossible not to identify as big. I spent several years of my earlier twenties in the mid range of a healthy BMI and I still felt huge. Recently a friend told me her weight and it was 5 pounds lighter than I was at that time. My always thin friend who I look at enviously as one of the ‘tiny people’ and she’s currently 5 pounds below where I was 4 years ago. I’m about 50-60 pounds away from that right now and I’m on the journey to get back. But there’s a part of me that knows I’ll still feel like the big girl even then. And that a lifetime of discomfort in my own body (and subsequent weight gain as a result) could’ve been avoided if adults understood how children process their seemingly offhand remarks.

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Those who've lost a large amount weight, how long was it before you learned your new body's perimeters on things like alcohol or caffeine?

[M, 22, 6', 200lbs down from 345lbs] I started to notice this recently, especially with alcohol. Before I started losing weight I wouldn't say I was huge drinker, but I was a pretty big one (pun only half intented). At least once a week, sometimes twice, I'd drink myself silly with friends. Being as I was massive, I could drink a heroic amount of alcohol before getting too drunk. Not healthy, but my friends and I remember be being able to do this.

When I started losing weight alcohol was one of the first things I put a limit on. I'd drink maybe once a month, and usually only 1 or 2 beers with food. Recently I've hit a (plateau/ slow down point?), I'm not at my goal weight of 175, but I'm comfortable enough where I'm at to loosen up my diet with proper exercise and restraint. I started to allow myself to get drunk with friends again from time to time. Not once a week, never once a week again. Still only like once a month or month and a half, but it's become blatantly obvious my tolerance has gone down.

I went to the bar, where I was once able to down easy 6 or 8 shots plus 2 mixed drinks without getting super wasted, I accidentally damn near blacked out from only 2 shots and mai tai. Similar instances have happened as well. Less alcohol gets me more wasted. It's an interesting observation I made, but it did take me a couple drinking sessions to figure it out. Same story with caffeine for me as well, except learning my new caffeine perimeters was more scary than it was fun, but I digress.

So, have any of you who led an alcohol-infused life prior to extreme weight loss also notice this? How did you find out? How did you take it?

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44yr Male down 48lbs

This is my sort of throwaway because I am not sure how I feel about posting here, but I never seem to see any older people in the posts that wander to r/all and thought it might encourage someone.

I finally went in to our clinic because my wife nagged enough about the weight loss program there. Turned out to be my midlife crisis appointment.. I was shocked to learn that I qualified for surgery, and I would later learn that I had blood pressure and cholesterol at levels that recommended medication. There are lots of scales and syndromes that basically say I was super at risk for a cardiovascular event (or the beetus). Without getting long winded, I will just say that I have always been overweight but active, but this was a moment where I realized that over the years the overweightness had quietly grown and the activeness shrunk. Covid didn't help.

The program there is multifaceted, basically everyone must commit to #1 seeing a practitioner once a month. After than they can choose to add #2 nutritionist visits, #3 psych sessions, and/or #4 medication. I ended up choosing 1,3, and 4. I was healthy back in the day and didn't see the need for a nutritionist, and the primary could answer any food questions that came up. I tried the psych thing once but don't feel I have strong emotional issues around eating or weight, I'm just lazy and like beer.

So I have been meeting with the practitioner monthly and was prescribed Wegovey to diminish (destroy) my appetite. Here is where I am at so far with the notable things I have implemented:

Day 1 mid Nov: 6'3" 306lb 44lb male, BP 150/100+, LDL 274, A1C 5.4

-Wegovy injection 1x a week

-30 days with zero alcohol, then holding at no more than one time social drinking per week. (Xmas to new years was an exception).

-Fast until lunch 5-6 times a week. One pint coffee/day max. Lunch is always a salad and a protein (eggs, nuts, leftover meat/fish). Dinner was just much smaller portions (we tend towards decent "whole" foods anyway, I just eat a lot). Cut out any carbs that were not whole grain. Beef is once a week or less. I don't much like sweets - I have been eating fruits and plain yogurt if I want a snack/dessert or feel hungry.

-30min mild exercise (walking) or lifting 5x week minimum. I have been alpine skiing 1-2x a week also.

-Aim for 18 cups of water per day.

Today: 6'3" 258lbs, BP 130/80 (systolic sometimes down to 115), LDL 192, A1C 4.8

At the beginning shortly after things were working I had a goal of 250lb by spring, yet I will meet that soon. In the back of my head I was thinking of pushing to 230 which was my healthy intense weight lifting weight, but maybe I will try to go less. I do think there might be a point where I get more serious about lifting/exercise and do some tracking of calorie deficits/protein etc. Skiing finally feels notably different when you drop 45lbs, and it feels better overall to be drinking way less. Sleep is improved.

Results are apparently not typical, but I was hella sedentary and drinking lots of calories. Feels nice, highly recommend.

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Starting weight loss journey

I’m 18f i just started my weight loss journey and I already lost around 5 pounds starting at 225 I’m now 220 (5’4). My measurements are 41-36-51

I have pcos and thyroid problems but I’m done blaming my weight on them. I’m taking accountability for my weight and I’m ready to look good for the first time in my life and feel good about myself.

My goal weight Is 170-180 as of right now.

Any meal/workout/motivation tips would be appreciated !

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I was at my all-time heaviest a little over 2 months ago at 203 lbs (26/F/5'8). Yesterday I broke into the 170s and I recreated my starting weight photo! [NSFW for visible midriff]

Before/After Comparison from 203 lbs (11/30/2021) to 178 lbs (2/2/2022).

I'm 25 pounds down and 8lbs away from my initial goal! A goal that I thought was a reach when I started.

Since I was a kid, I figured I'd always be the chubby one. I was a thickset adolescent from the jump. Thick legs, round face, fat arms, never had a flat stomach. And my extended non-American family would comment on it a fair amount. It wasn't mean-spirited, but they'd call me chubby or fat like they were saying the sky was blue. It's cultural—they do that to everyone. But growing up as a girl in the US, it stuck with me. Even when I was thin, I didn't feel thin. I had sort of internalized "I am chubby. That is what I am."

In my late teens and early 20s, that went a lot of directions. From "I'm chubby and that makes me a bad person" to "I'm chubby and I'm goddamn beautiful" to "I'm chubby and that's a completely neutral statement." But I never actually thought of myself as in control of my body weight. It just seemed like something that happened to you. Like a button God pressed. Sometimes I'd have a flare of inspiration when I saw a friend lose weight. Or a person on TV. But the "if they can do it, I can do it too" would burn out right around the time I discovered juice cleanses are joyless soul-sucking enterprises, or that intermittent fasting is a gateway to disordered eating for me. I'd give up and say, "I tried! But I'm just chubby."

Then I broke 200lbs for the first time in my life. At that moment on the scale (something I had stepped on out of curiosity), I realized that I had been avoiding looking at myself in the mirror for months. I wasn't exercising, I was binge eating to cope with stress, and I felt listless and unmoored. At 200lbs, I'm not just chubby: I am a deeply unhappy person. And I realized that if the scale could move up, then it could go down too. I sat down and did a bunch of research and swore off all the stupid crash diet literature I read before.

I want to specifically thank this subreddit for what it does. Because CICO not only works, but it's accessible. I felt informed, data-driven, and better equipped to actually commit to weight loss. And when it felt like my calorie deficit wasn't doing anything and the little voice crept back in with the "I'm just chubby" line, I saw all of your update posts proving that people CAN and DO change their physiques and stay that way.

So, if you're feeling frustrated right now and are scrolling for motivation, I hope this helps. Stick with it! Keep counting and trust the process! You are not "just chubby" or "just fat". You have control and you can do it.

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Unsure of what gender to put down on calorie counters/calculators

Hi all. This question seems a bit silly to ask, but I haven't found the answers on google, so I'm asking here. I've been going down a weight loss journey and stumbled upon this sub, which influenced me to start counting calories again. However, I am unsure of how much I should be eating, because I don't know what gender to put down on MyPlate app. I was assigned female at birth, however I do not identify as such, and have been on male hormones for a little over 7 months. I know that this changes your body in many ways, however I am unsure if I should be eating male suggested amounts or female suggested amounts. Any advice would be appreciated :) Thanks very much.

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Obsessive weight loss thoughts are driving me crazy

Wondering if anyone is also going through this or has advice on how to calm the F down.

I'm counting my calories and I'm working out. I got a peloton and I LOVE it. I am being creative with my cooking and I don't feel deprived. The basics of weight loss- I have it down. This is not the issue for me.

The issue is that all I think about, all the time, is weight loss. It feels like time has slowed down. Every free moment I have is spent looking at results pics on IG. Analyzing my calories. Should I eat less? What if I'm not eating enough? if I lost 8 pounds this month and 6 pounds in Feb and 4 pounds in march what will I look like in April? I was supposed to have dinner with a friend tonight and I canceled because the idea of going to a restaurant and potentially eating more calories than I know literally made me panic to the point of feeling sick.

This is why I can't lose weight. because I lose my frigging mind every time. The exact thing happened to me last year. I was working out with a trainer- I was lifting, I was doing amazing. and then she kept changing how I should eat and it stressed me out so much I just spiraled and started to binge. The one time in my life I lost a large amount of weight was when I was in my late 20's and I started going to spin with my friends as a social activity. I ate healthier by default but I wasn't on a specific diet. To be honest I don't even know how much I lost- or how much I weighed. I just know it was the thinnest I ever was.

I want these thoughts to stop. it borders on an obsession. I just want to be healthy and feel good in my skin. I'm never going to be a model, I know that. I just want the weight gone. I want to know I can do this. and I want it to be July when 6 months have passed and I can see some results. But then I am just wishing my life away.

help =(

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