Lost 45 lbs but still have 90 lbs to go and feeling discouraged

24F, 5’4, SW: 263lbs, CW: 216.4lbs, GW: 130lbs

Hi all, I'm hoping that there may be some folks here who have had a similar experience and have tips for shifting one's mindset to feel more positive about progress. I've been working on losing weight since mid-November, so about 7 months now. I've lost around 45lbs and went from around a size 24 or 2X to being comfortable in size 18 pants.

In my second year of university, I went through my first breakup, took some really challenging classes, struggled with my mental health, and went from 130lbs to 160lbs.

I struggled in friendships to feel worthy of being loved and had a couple of unkind friends who made snide comments about me and really undermined my self-confidence. I started dating a guy in my friend group, but he was also not very kind. He went on a spontaneous road trip for two weeks over Valentine's day and my birthday, after telling me he was excited to spend the holiday together and I shouldn't plan anything for my birthday as he wanted to plan a surprise party for me. (I know that it's a bit shallow to care about occasions like Valentine's Day, but I'm a big softie romantic. I host a yearly "pal-entines" brunch for all my friends, and I love getting heart-shaped balloons and flowers and chocolates and handmade cards with poems for the people I love. I also always host a big party with friends for my birthday. I intentionally didn't plan a party because this guy asked me not to, and then he just skipped town and didn't even send me a "happy birthday" text.)

After the road trip, the guy told me that he didn't see us being together long-term because he thought he could "do better" than being with me, so I broke up with him, about a week before lockdown in March of 2020. I had been gaining weight for a while and hit 200 lbs around that time. I was a bit grateful for the lockdown initially, as I really didn't want to face our friend group knowing that he would be entirely unbothered and continue to go to all group gatherings while I was emotionally crushed and didn't really want to be around him.

I isolated myself, my mental health got worse, and the only reliable happiness I got was from food. In 2020 and 2021 I went from 200lbs to 263lbs at my highest. I was shocked and disappointed in myself and stressed at the prospect of losing around 130lbs to get back to my original weight of 130lbs when I felt most healthy and confident. I had literally doubled my weight and it was incredibly intimidating to fix the problem.

I dedicated myself to losing weight in mid-November of 2021, and I've lost about 45lbs so far. I feel healthier, which is great, but my body doesn't look all that different. I'm still in plus sizes and still have almost 90lbs to lose to get to my goal weight. I'm graduating from university this summer and planning to move to a new city and get a full-time job in the fall. At this rate, I'll be lucky if I can break 200lbs by the time I move, and I'll still likely be plus-size and 70lbs from my goal weight.

As I went from 130lbs to 260lbs, people were less and less kind, friendly, and interested in talking to me or interacting with me. Now, I'm terrified to interview for jobs, move, and try to make new friends or date in a new city where I don't know anyone while still 90lbs over my goal weight. I've worked so hard and made good progress but I am still so far from my goal and it's really demoralizing. I'm not sure how to keep up the motivation and willpower to get through another 90lbs of weight loss, especially when it'll likely be more than a year until I reach my goal weight.

Has anybody else struggled with getting down to a previous weight or goal weight from a high starting weight and felt discouraged about it? I would love to hear any similar experiences or advice on fixing a discouraged mindset. Thank you in advance!

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3 Month check in- tldr at bottom

Accountability/motivation check in. I'm (37/F) down 18 lbs in three months, feeling more motivated by it. It's starting to feel like less of a chore most days which is nice!

Most noticeable changes are not feeling fatigued from simple things like going up stairs. Less night time swelling by the end of the day my watch used to look like it was strangling me. Less triggers or urges to binge or compulsively eat. Less food anxiety overall. Less worry about how my clothes look or how I look in general. I've always liked myself but I'm beginning to get back to a place where I'm feeling good because I'm doing the work.

Less migraine days. A little less brain fog. Realizing just how crappy carb heavy foods made me physically and emotionally feel. I'm not giving them up, but making them the smallest part of how I eat has made a difference. Also since it's getting easier to move my body, I've noticed I've been incorporating more movement into my day. IE standing vs sitting, parking farther from stores, playing tag with the kids, so still no added exercise but an increase in movement.

Will end with a few things that helped this month.

1. Revisiting some of the talking points from Brain Over Binge. Even though I haven't binged in awhile I still work to keep my compulsive eating in check. This book has helped a lot with that.

2. Podcasts- TY Redditors who recommended The Minimalists. Also The Chris Terrell Podcast is great for anyone who is on the journey. If you're beginning he's direct enough to feel confident getting started. If you're somewhere in the middle or towards the end, he's been through enough to help reignite the spark. And Weight Loss Made Real- great tips and insight especially for people who put a lot of emphasis on food.

3. Asking myself "if I could lose it all now, but would risk gaining it back in 3-5 years, OR could lose it over the next 1-2 years and build sustainable habits with a higher chance of keeping it off forever, what would I choose?" and I really thought about it. I'm choosing the long term. This means I don't know when I'll hit my goal. It means my goal will also change- like as I close in on an ideal weight range I'll want to add more fitness goals and composition goals. I want to build a strong foundation so when life happens, my habits and plan will be versatile enough to stay successful.

TLDR- asked doctor to give me healthy weight loss goals and monthly in office weigh ins for accountability. Down 18 lbs after making small changes and even after gaining a few of lbs during month two. Still haven't added exercise (always say I'm going to).

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Feb 2022 - June 2022 progress update!

Little progress update from my last! Feeling great! Cals are up to 2500 while weight is still dropping ! 13st 5lbs / 85kg down to 10st 7lbs / 67kg.

Have been going to gym consistently on a push-pull-legs split, while gradually increasing my calories over the last 2 months since my initial huge weight loss. I’m currently on 2500 but guess I’m still in deficit as my weight is still dropping by 0.5lbs a week roughly. I’m looking at going up to 2600 in the next week or so, then up by another 100 calories every two weeks up to 3000 to try and put some muscle mass on! Current macros: 188g protein 281g carbs 69g fat Although I normally unintentionally go under my fats, carbs & over my protein due to my diet. But once I bulk I’m going to try and hit them all.

https://imgur.com/a/L7Eoaly

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ZigZag diet

Hello,

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I have a question if zigzag dieting ( i think that is the term at least) is bad for my metabolism.

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Ex. Mon/Wed/Fri/Sun - eat 1500 calories

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Tues/Thurs/Sat - Eat 2000 calories

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Also is there any benefits to changing the variation of calories through the week or being consistent is better? I have a weight loss goal and I don't want to make the mistake of gaining it all back again!

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Thanks in advance!

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Especially men: how do you cope with having stretch marks?

Hello, this question is especially (but not solely) directed to men having stretch marks after a weight loss, because I feel like stretch marks are aesthetically more accepted on women since most women have them by nature.

I’ve lost quiet a bit of weight (25kg/55lbs) and I have stretch marks all over my torso (belly, shoulders, latissimus etc.). I hate them. They are not red any more but it feels so bad that people can immediately see that I’ve been struggling with my weight in the past when I take off my shirt. It really bothers me, especially when undressing in front of sexual partners. I know the most important part is that I lost all that health threatening weight, but the fact that I’ll never be able to have a „flawless“ body again is grinding my gears…

How do you cope with that?

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What made you start taking weight loss seriously?

I thought that I would when I hit 200 pounds (I’m 5’2), but even that didn’t make me stop binge eating. For me, it was when I went to a concert with my friends and they posted pictures of us after it was over. I looked huge, never realized that I looked that way. I always considered myself on the chubbier side but never fat. I was just like nope, I’m definitely fat 😭 I’m down to 189 now, hoping to get to 130 at the end. I don’t want to hate myself in pictures anymore.

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making quick effortless progress on weight loss

I in the last 2 weeks decided i wanted to get serious about my weight loss.

Since April 29th i began weighing myself periodically. Haven't been tracking my calories but quit eating fast food and drinking sodas. Have uped my water intake and have been getting better sleep. It has been consistently 98-103 degrees plus 70% or greater humidity where i live and work.

Have been more active since i work in the meat department at a grocery store. But temd to stay cool and still sweat. Haven't been working out other than maybe lifting once a week at home with dumbbells and bench press.

Have lost 17 and almost half pounds in less than a month and a half. I am proud of myself. It has been awhile since i have made progress and makes me laugh thaty body decided to act before i did.

Just wanted to share this since i thought it was funny and ironic.

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