24F, 5’4, SW: 263lbs, CW: 216.4lbs, GW: 130lbs
Hi all, I'm hoping that there may be some folks here who have had a similar experience and have tips for shifting one's mindset to feel more positive about progress. I've been working on losing weight since mid-November, so about 7 months now. I've lost around 45lbs and went from around a size 24 or 2X to being comfortable in size 18 pants.
In my second year of university, I went through my first breakup, took some really challenging classes, struggled with my mental health, and went from 130lbs to 160lbs.
I struggled in friendships to feel worthy of being loved and had a couple of unkind friends who made snide comments about me and really undermined my self-confidence. I started dating a guy in my friend group, but he was also not very kind. He went on a spontaneous road trip for two weeks over Valentine's day and my birthday, after telling me he was excited to spend the holiday together and I shouldn't plan anything for my birthday as he wanted to plan a surprise party for me. (I know that it's a bit shallow to care about occasions like Valentine's Day, but I'm a big softie romantic. I host a yearly "pal-entines" brunch for all my friends, and I love getting heart-shaped balloons and flowers and chocolates and handmade cards with poems for the people I love. I also always host a big party with friends for my birthday. I intentionally didn't plan a party because this guy asked me not to, and then he just skipped town and didn't even send me a "happy birthday" text.)
After the road trip, the guy told me that he didn't see us being together long-term because he thought he could "do better" than being with me, so I broke up with him, about a week before lockdown in March of 2020. I had been gaining weight for a while and hit 200 lbs around that time. I was a bit grateful for the lockdown initially, as I really didn't want to face our friend group knowing that he would be entirely unbothered and continue to go to all group gatherings while I was emotionally crushed and didn't really want to be around him.
I isolated myself, my mental health got worse, and the only reliable happiness I got was from food. In 2020 and 2021 I went from 200lbs to 263lbs at my highest. I was shocked and disappointed in myself and stressed at the prospect of losing around 130lbs to get back to my original weight of 130lbs when I felt most healthy and confident. I had literally doubled my weight and it was incredibly intimidating to fix the problem.
I dedicated myself to losing weight in mid-November of 2021, and I've lost about 45lbs so far. I feel healthier, which is great, but my body doesn't look all that different. I'm still in plus sizes and still have almost 90lbs to lose to get to my goal weight. I'm graduating from university this summer and planning to move to a new city and get a full-time job in the fall. At this rate, I'll be lucky if I can break 200lbs by the time I move, and I'll still likely be plus-size and 70lbs from my goal weight.
As I went from 130lbs to 260lbs, people were less and less kind, friendly, and interested in talking to me or interacting with me. Now, I'm terrified to interview for jobs, move, and try to make new friends or date in a new city where I don't know anyone while still 90lbs over my goal weight. I've worked so hard and made good progress but I am still so far from my goal and it's really demoralizing. I'm not sure how to keep up the motivation and willpower to get through another 90lbs of weight loss, especially when it'll likely be more than a year until I reach my goal weight.
Has anybody else struggled with getting down to a previous weight or goal weight from a high starting weight and felt discouraged about it? I would love to hear any similar experiences or advice on fixing a discouraged mindset. Thank you in advance!
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