CW for potentially triggering info about bingeing and body image issues the like, esp for fat lgbt folk...
I'm Nick. I am 30 years old, I weigh over 400lbs (the cheap scales I've used havent been able to go past that) and I am an obese transgender man.
I have been fat-to-obese my whole life, but I never felt like I should be that shape. Whenever I imagine me, I'm at least half the size I really am- the Mirror really nips that fantasy in the bud every time.
I have always eaten my feelings; Even when someone would look at me, and tell me I am fat, I would fall deeper into anxiety and depression and eat More and move Less.
My weight makes my body dysphoria worse as it makes my chest larger and I am too large for most binders. In general, the weight makes me feel less like a man; I really feel all people can and will ever see is an obese woman hiding from reality.
Heart disease, Strokes, and Diabetes all run in my family- by some miracle I have avoided much of this up till now.
I dont want to be "lucky" any more.
Saturday (Jun 25th) is my final day of counting calories as my control, and then Sunday I will be putting in the work. I dont have a gym nearby, but I'm going to be more active and I will start reducing my calories by 100-200 per week until I find that sweet spot of weight loss and not feeling miserable. I know not a lot of people my size like taking a picture to start, but despite the terror I will be doing that this Sunday as the first day of change!
I know this will take time, but I look forward to changing my life for the better.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/PHWhV6F
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