Hey everyone, some advice needed. Obligatory: English is not my first language.
tl;dr: My gf hates herself / her body for the strong hunger feelings she always gets and sees no hope for her ever losing weight.
My gf (23) really hates her body right now, came home crying because her friends - all thin - all ate almost nothing all day when they were out studying today. She on the other hand got so hungry 4 hours after she ate in the uni canteen and according to her it felt like dying. She has a bmi of ~33 and she struggles with her weight loss and to quote her "I could have ate three candy bars just to get rid of that feeling that I would starve right now and then still eat a full course meal. No wonder I'm that fat and everyone is so thin when all they ate today was some morsels"
Some Background: Coming from a poor household, her mother (herself with a bmi of I'd guess ~55) could "provide food as the only luxury" (my gfs words) so she was already overweight as a kid, using food for comfort. Even today, whenever she is stressed out, scared, embarresed, nervous or sad, she goes straight for some food. When she was around 16, she managed to get down to a bmi of around 24, but for that she had to workout 3 hours a day additional to a stringent diet over a year or two (not sure how much pounds she lost or exactly how long it took, though). The stress in school and her first job wrecked her hard work as she went up to a bmi of ~30 over the next 2-3 years and she hates herself for wasting all this hard work she put in losing the weight she gained again so easily. Now, 2 years after we met, her bmi went up to 33. I, too, gained like 30 pounds in this time (bmi of 29). So maybe its our relationship, maybe Corona with no incentive to go out or to the university for 2 years, as all lectures were online, etc. She already tries WeightWatchers, but even in good weeks, when she is not snacking, she looses almost nothing. She also does some workout, but I guess it could be more. But she really hates workout due to her experience with the 3 hours a day. And I myself doing no workout at all, so I'm none to talk.
So, can someone relate to that feeling of dying/starving? I can't, even if I can understand getting hungry and therefore grumpy for sure. But I never cried because of hunger before so I'm at a loss here.
And - more important - do you have some advice?
Yea we should get rid of all snacks - but some days she sends me out to get some because of some mishap or bad mood and reluctantly I just go and buy them for her. I know that this is enabling her but I'm not able to not do it. Yea she could do more exercise (I too). But again she is no fan of exercise due to her negative experience as she can't stand the thought of again using 3 hours a day for exercises - time she does not have due to university.
I'm not really able to get rid of the 30 extra pounds either, I went down like 4 pounds last month to be back up again, so I do understand that she has a hard time, but this is the first time I try to lose some weight and sometimes I can't fathom how she can be hungry all the time. She eats more than me and my basal metabolic rate should be higher than hers.
Could there be some thyroid gland subfunction or hyperfunction? Should she change the contraceptive pill she is using? My guess would be some therapy to get this "comfort food bingeing" out of her system or maybe a stomach reduction, but that might be a bit drastic?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long text.
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