So I posted a while back about my concern about visiting my parents (specifically my mother) and then commenting about my weight. I took everyone’s advice and told her respectfully I’m visiting to spend time with them, I don’t want to have conversations about my weight. I struggle with unhealthy weight loss habits and it’s triggered a lot by my mother. She means well (supposedly), but also comes from this culture of needing to weigh 105 lbs to be beautiful.
I’ve been trying to lose weight for myself - but been working on it in a HEALTHY way. Working with a nutritionist, eating enough calories, and I’ve gone from 181 to 175 (losing about a pound or so a week). I’m trying to love myself regardless of my size and I’m trying to lose weight not out of dislike for myself, but love for myself and my health.
For the first two days we did great, I was so happy. She was respecting my wishes and boundaries. Recently she sits down with me and asks me “you love your boyfriend, right?” … I was like uh, yeah?
So she responds with “then you need to close your mouth and eat less”
I’m sorry what??? My response was shutting her down. Her response was that I don’t listen to her. she then tried to guilt me into this whole “oh I’m sorry I care about you, wow it’s my fault, you’re right, I’m wrong”. I then told her that she was right, she IS wrong - and that I wasn’t playing her crappy mind games anymore.
Needless to say I lost my shit. My boyfriend has never ever ever made me feel less than for putting on weight, he’s never been anything but supportive but it’s very heartbreaking to know that my own mother wouldn’t deem me worthy of someone else’s affection and love because of weight gain. I’ve worked so hard on building myself back up - I’m not going to allow anyone to tear me back down.
To all the people struggling with people like this in your life, I am so sorry. You are beautiful, worthy, and amazing no matter what. Don’t give up!!!!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/TIZtLxP
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