This time last year I weighed 850lbs on Jan 20th I decided to start my weight loss journey. Few weeks prior to that I had made a video of my self making a resolution to lose weight, I had a revalation of sorts and decided to change. I had gained so much weight that I was unable to catch my breath just trying to go to the restroom. I couldnt stand for longer then a few seconds. and even then my heart would race like I was running a marathon and I would give my self panic attacks trying to catch my breath, which would make it even harder to breath to the point I was in fear of just passing out and dieing right there.
At the time I honestly thought I wanted to die, maybe I could be with my daughter again.. but there was something that didnt make sense to me.. If I wanted to die, why was I in panic everytime I was right at deaths door. Why was it I was afraid.. I figured if I was afraid of dieing then I must really want to live, and If I wanted to live I'd have to change. So thats where the resolution came in.
On Jan 1st 2023 I made a resolution, Hell I even recorded it on camera for some kind of accountability. I had alredy tried to lose weight a couple years prior lost about 100lbs got down to 600lbs then ended up giving up and gaining it all back and then some till I got to the 850lbs. I had become a Diabetic at this point , my entire body was swollen you could put ur finger in my leg or belly and it would leave an imprint that wouldnt go away. I even had a horrible sore on my foot that was spreading over the top I still to this day have the scar over my foot , a dark patch where an open wound that would not heal was. Guessing this is how diabetics usually lose thier feet.
I had no will power or confidence in my self that I could even achieve any weight loss, I had been on Ozempic for two months prior to this for my diabetes and ended up gaining weight on it. It was taking my hunger away, but I had realized I had never listened to hunger in the first place when it came to my eating, It was more of a thing where you feel like your trying to fill a hole with something like food and it would never fill up is the best way I can describe it. I would wake up and the first thing I would think about is food. I would order so much food that way I could eat it through out the day, never stoping.
So Jan 1st I made the resolution and changed my life! nah thats not how it went down I failed the next day after making the resolution and just went back to ordering food, it wasnt till the 20th of that month I had again gotten to the point I was afraid of dieing just going to the restroom. So I decided to give it everything I had to try it and I would start out slowly instead.
The first week I cut out soda and Stoped drinking any calories. Then I would progress to new rules adding one at a time(eating windows, droping carbs etc. ) I would add new rules that would never be broken, Never drink your calories, never eat other then these set hours, and it would eventually progress into trying a different diet plan each month. So I could see what worked best for me and which things I enjoyed the most out of each diet. I would keep the things that worked well and drop the stuff I didnt enjoy. I started with a normal Calorie Diet Clean chicken breast brocoli and rice, I was hungry all the time and misreble.
There were a couple of reasons I didnt document much my first two months, 1 - I didnt even think I was gonna follow through with it This is also why I never took photos of my self. 2 - my home scale only went to 712lbs so It would be such a long time since I'd even be able to measure my weight. not that I could even stand long enough to get my weight in the begining. My initial weight was taken from a bariatric bed while in hospital so Thats all I had to go off of in the begining till i could actually see my weight on the scale. by end of month 2 I was surprised and shocked that my scale was actually reading numbers again( instead of ERROR). Infact I didnt believe my weight when I first saw my weight, I had to take it multiple times. My kidneys were killing me those first two months from all the water and swelling I was droping you could push your finger on any part of my body and it wouldnt leave an imprint anymore, My edema was gone all over. I was peeing like 50 times a day and had horrible back pain but It was significant change and I could actually weight my self again so I could measure the difference I was making each month.
This was a HUGE mental barrier and motivation I had recieved after seeing this. I just thought man Ill go stricter this time and see even more weight loss right? nah haha, it definetly doesnt work that way. Your biggest gains in weight loss atleast for me, was those first 2 months I'm guessing alot of that was due to my edema all over and the water weight I had on my body. Reguardless I would continue my journey trying a new meal plan each month. It wasnt till month 5 or 6 I think I took my self off Ozempic and started doing it on my own I was around 650lbs I wanted to make sure I was doing this on my own and what it felt like to not be on the medication so I could make sure I would be able to handle losing weight without it. I Also quit smoking the exact same month, I was chain smoking cigars or Vape Pens and I figured it would be hypocritical of me to continue or use it as a crutch to my eating. Whenever I would fast I would still smoke alot to curb my appetite. So I quit cold Turkey it was actually easier then I thought I think i had like 3 days of cravings then nothing. The first two weeks of geting off carbs was harder then it was to quit smoking.
This is where fasting came in to help, I noticed that when Id fast after first 48 - 72 hours I'd have no hunger and it would shrink my stomach to the point my portions sizes were alot smaller when I did eat. Worked well to transition into this for me since I was already doing eating windows I would just expand and switch to One Meal a Day mostly or Alt Day Fasting. I cycled in different Vitamins and supplements till I found the ones that worked best for me my core supplements that never really changed were the Turmeric, Apple Cider Vinegar, Vit B, D, K, and Magnesium.
Carnivore- I tried Carnivore meal plan month 6 I believe, drinking nothing but water and only eating meat. I noticed such a difference in the way I felt not only was I losing weight the easiest I had ever lost weight and seeing around the same numbers but I felt amazing it made me feel so much better mood wise, I wasnt as depressed and had way more energy. I could also eat until I was satisfied, and never had to measure my food It trained me to listen to my body/hunger cues better. When you eat food and your hungry it tastes amazing, but as you get threw your steak or steaks, and you fill up the food begins to taste horrible to the point you dont even want to eat another bite. I thought that was really cool and alot easier. I did notice I wasnt losing as much weight when I ate chicken over beef, which confused me untill I began to actually count my calorie intake again. I notice the calorie differences in the two, 24 - 28 Chicken Wings is far more calories then 2 ribeye steaks, and with chicken wings I seem to be hungry again faster. But I love Buffalo Wings, I could eat air fried buffalo wings every day for the rest of my life, which is why chicken wings are still my go to, along with them being super easy to cook in an air fryer.
Cheat Days - Alot of people dont like em or call them other things. I enjoy them, they still alow me freedom and alow me to eat off plan for the month aslong as I get back on track the following I also like to see how my body handles certain foods when I eat off plan. I started with like 10 - 14 cheat days then I tried to cut down that number each month. My biggest problem was making sure I was geting back on the horse afterwards or minimizing how many "cheat days", I would allow my self. I would also make sure to not break my other unbreakable rules during the cheat day, so No drinking calories and still utilizing an eating window, which at this point I was on OMAD, so when I finished eating i would be done with it completly till the next day, since I was fasting regularly like I said my stomach was alot smaller and I would get full easier.
I'm Still working on Portion control This is my weakest point and something I still struggle with daily. I've spent years eating insanely unhealthy portions so when I eat food or make food or order food its always still more then I can eat.. I dont understand why im so afraid of ordering food and still being hungry I dunno where this fear stems from in me but its definetly still there. So for example when I cook my chicken wings I still cook 24 - 28 chicken wings and throw alot of food away, instead of keeping the left overs. I'm working on that alot lately. I've never understood the people that go out to a Jack n the Box or somthing and order just one hamburger. It's so funny I hear my self talk about it now and it sounds like an Alchoholic talking about drinking, how they go out and they dont understand just having one beer with a friend, they cant understand it. Why wouldnt you want to have this great feeling all the time. It's kinda the same thing but with food for people like me. I cant speak for others this is just my experience and what I feel.
Excersize - So Around month 6 I began excersizeing and began the physical therapy that I should have done years ago after my Coma. I used Resistance bands straped to the legs of my bed and got adjustable dumbells. I'm still increadibly unstable when I walk around and I even still fall, but now I can pick my self back up when I do. I'd say my excersize is still minimal thou when comparing to alot of gym rats out there. Very Basic stuff Id say atleast with my experience most weight loss is what you put into your mouth, how much and how often. I plan on swimming this year and geting a gym membership , then hopfully moving to weights and stuff. I'm right now just still trying to be able to walk for longer then 2 mins without my legs giving out.
Month 10 - 12 I'm finally able to fit in a car again and travle again, do things like go to a Dr apt instead of having a Dr or Nurse come to me. I can now walk around my house freely still not able to stand for longer then a few minutes but I'm working on it. I'm sure I can fit in smaller cloths aswell since I'm still wearing my 14x shirts, but honestly my skin is still hanging out from my shirts if I wear anything smaller then a shirt that looks like a dress, The amount of skin I have leftover from the damage I've done to my body is going to be significant. I still dont know what I'll be doing about all that but for right now we take it one day at a time. I lost 400 lbs last year and this year im shooting for about half that, looking to get to 250ish by this Christmas , we'll see.
My life is still incredibly sad and depressing, dont get me wrong, and I have no illusions that losing all this weight will magically make me happy or will transform me into some story book Happy Ending... Everyday I still miss my baby girl and Every day I wake up to my lonely ass life. But your life doesnt end here It goes on and Life was never fair to start out and its not gonna be fair where it ends up, but one thing I can tell you. When you survive the perils that life throws your way you will always find moments or times of joy that make it worth it. I still have a son and if I want to see him make it threw his last 5 years of school and then hopfully college one day Ill have to be alive and healthy for him to do that.
My best advice I can give to anyone reading this thinking about changing, Dont fall into despair, dont revel in it thinking your life isnt going to get any better so whats the point of even trying, Dont lock your self in a room(Like me) and eat your self to death whatever your food of choice is. And im not just talking about food, for me it was food, to others it could be something else. That thing that takes you away from your pain for a lil while, gives you an escape. Your life is full of possibilities I promise you. Just take the first step and try something, then the next day take another step... untill you look back and realize you've walked miles from where you first started. No one ever believed I could do it, most said id never lose weight unless I had bariatric surgery. You can do anything you put your mind to. In 5 years I hope I'm atleast back in school in my 40s maybe trying to become an RN or something. Everyone still tells me I cant do this. I dont know if thats even possible for someone like me but I have a goal. I take one step at a time everyday trying to rebuild my life from ashes. You never know, You might surprise yourself.
I did.
Heres my weight tracking for the year. I also try to post once a month on tiktok for accountability. havent done this month yet but im sure ill do it sometime.
Take Care Yall , Love the Journey more then the Destination and you wont regret it.
https://www.tiktok.com/@keebla2
1/20/23 850
3/5/23 712 - Home Scale stops at 712
3/11/23 699
3/17/23 688 - Low carb transition to dirty keto
4/05/23 683
4/11/23 671
4/14/23 665
4/21/23 657 - dirty keto start
4/28/23 659
5/11/23 640
5/29/23 620 - clean Keto start
5/31/23 618
6/5/23 618
6/12/23 612
6/16/23 608
6/20/23 607 - Start of Carnivore buffalo wings and ribeyes
6/25/23 603
6/29/23 599
7/8/23 591
7/13/23 588
7/18/23 583
7/20/23 580 - Carnivore just eatting chicken wings - no cheat days.
7/25/23 578
7/30/23 574
8/2/23 570
8/11/23 563
8/15/23 563
8/20/23 563 - Carnivore just eating Ribeye steaks 80/20 Cheat days included Barbacoa street tacos x3 and Wingstop wings x2 and 1 Day of Pizza and Icecream you can guess which week.
8/23/23 557
8/25/23 549
8/28/23 543
9/4/23 538
9/6/23 536
9/13/23 549
9/17/23 544
9/20/23 535 - Carnivore Beef and Chicken again with Alternate day fasting thrown in the mix
9/22/23 530
9/23/23 526
9/27/23 527
9/30/23 521
10/1/23 518
10/4/23 515
10/11/23 511
10/18/23 499 - Carnivore minus cheat days (3 Cheat days - Wingstop)
10/25/23 498
10/31/23 492
11/6/23 486
11/17/23 481
11/20/23 479
11/22/23 476 - Ketovore/fasting (Carnivore with some Veggies in the mix)
11/29/23 483 - After thanksgiving entire week of cheat days from leftovers
12/3/23 480
12/6/23 473
12/13/23 470
12/20/23 457 - Carnivore, Buffalo wings mostly with lil beef in the slow cooker ( Cheat days included All New Years Week ate out every day for 8 days includes Hamburgers, Pizza, BBQ, Fried Chicken)
1/7/24 469
1/10/24 464
1/17/24 448
1/20/24 446
