I always had issues with my weight. I remembered in middle school when I got asked how much I weighed, I would always lie about it since I was embarrassed, even though I was a perfectly normal weight for me age. I started high school at 120lbs for my 5’2 ft height. By the end of high school I was on the heavier side of healthy, usually around 130-140lbs.
Fast forward and I started university weighing 130lbs and by the end of first year I gained the freshmen 15 and ended first year weighing 145lbs the heaviest I’ve ever been at that point in my life.
After first year, during the summer I started working out and lost some weight and I came down to 135lbs. But I still thought I needed to lose more weight. I tried to go to the gym but with school and work I didn’t really get the time. Second year was also the year where I was unhappy in my program and felt lonely all the time. And I also started to order take out several times a week and got into a binge eating cycle. In the span of four months I gained almost 30lbs bringing me to my heaviest weight of 165lbs, this now putting me in the obese category.
I always tried losing weight, but I would always binge eat. I got into that cycle where I would eat terribly and then wait for Monday. This all resulted in me not losing any weight and staying the same until January 2018. I decided to try the Keto diet along with CICO. By April 2018 I was down to 150 lbs. With my 15lbs weight loss I was hella happy. However, I wasn’t able to stay with this lifestyle and slowly came back back to 165lbs by January 2019. For the next few months I got into the “I’ll start on Monday” cycle. Which resulted in me not losing any weight.
In May 2019 I graduated and moved back in with my parents. We had some family over and they were taking picture for a birthday party. And that’s when I saw this picture of myself and I looked terrible. I’ve never felt as ugly as I did till I saw that picture. That’s when I decided to make a change in my life. I started working out and eating healthier. In 8 months I got down to 140lbs and also gained some muscle definition. This is probably the lightest I’ve been in years and I feel great.
I’ve noticed over the past few months I’ll be walking around and I’ll see men look at me, which I never really got before. Most of the time they look at my face (face gains!!) but sometimes they’ll look at my body too. Not really comfortable with the new attention, but it also makes me feel more confident in my body.
I was donating some of my clothes and tried on some of my old dresses to see if they still fit. The dresses were a bit on the looser side but I looked amazing in it compared to before. Even though I have fat thighs my legs looked toned.
For the past two months I haven’t really lost any weight and stayed the same. Kinda scared about gaining some since I’ve been eating more (might give CICO a try again). I’m hoping to get down to 120lbs by the end of this year. And I can’t wait to see what I look like by then!
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