[I need serious advice - sorry for long post but I'm getting desperate!]
Here's my full detailed story:
2015: start weight at 188 pounds
2015-2016: Saw a nutritionist, went on an intense diet (1000 calories per day + 2-3 protein bars of 190 calories or less; high protein, low carb) + started at the gym (cardio) and lost 50 pounds within 8 months
2016-2018: 135-140 pounds - kept same eating habits + gym schedule
October 2018: 145 pounds. Started first full-time 9-5 desk job after graduating university, gained some weight back. Still continued with a very strict eating regiment and working out 5x week (cardio + machines).
January 2019: 155 pounds. Started to freak out so on top of my clean eating and work outs, I sought the help of a personal trainer for over 6 months. Workouts were geared toward weight loss. Lost 0 pounds. He didn't know what to tell me and was very confused. Also added a hot yoga class to my routine 1x/week. Didn't really help with any toning/weight loss.
May 2019: 160 pounds. Getting more desperate, I sought the help from a nutritionist from my DR. office (private). Saw her for over 6 months. She said that my eating is almost perfect and tweaked only a few things and tried to add things to speed up my metabolism (she believed my metabolism was slower than normal). Lost 0 pounds. During this time I added a spinning class to my weekly routine (1x/week) and a hot barre class (1x/week) + usual gym (running on treadmill + elliptical 3x/week). Nothing worked.
October 2019 - February 2020: 160-165 pounds. Despite working out hardcore and eating well (logging calories) and trying to destress, drink enough water and get enough sleep, I continued to gain weight. I ended up trying fad diets (i.e: the water diet where I didn't eat anything for a week and just drank cayenne water. Obviously I knew this wouldn't work but I was desperate - I lost 20 pounds and gained it back within a week lol). I also signed up for NOOM. This did not work whatsoever.
March 2020: Start of COVID lockdown for us. 165 pounds. Continued to workout daily (intense HIIT videos online 4-5x week + outdoor running 1-2x week - 1 of these runs was a 10k in an hour, each week). Continued to get enough sleep, cut out alcohol completely (Not a heavy drinker to begin with, but there were no more social events to attend), made sure to drink enough water and tried to destress as much as possible.
May 2020: Went on burnout with my job. 165 pounds. Continued doing what I was already doing in terms of eating/logging and workouts during lockdown.
August 2020: 165 pounds. By this time, I am still on burnout.
In regards to my weight: I hardly fit into my old clothes. I freaked out daily whenever I look in the mirror because I can physically see the difference in my body (I am a lot less toned and have gained most of the weight in my thighs/hips/lower stomach. I used to have a flat/toned stomach and not it constantly looks bloated). Had my annual checkup with my DR at this time. She tested my thyroid and ironically it came back with the best score it has been in years. Everything else was normal, as well. I even got a full body-scan done and although I am considered to be slightly "overweight" with a heightened BMI my visceral fat ratio was quite low. She said that I have the possibility to retain a little more water than normal but that I'm already doing everything possible to avoid a lot of retention. Referred me to an endocrinologist to check my hormones, because there wasn't much else she could test for.
November 2020: 175 pounds. I gained 10 pounds in 3 months!!!!!!! My endocrinologist thinks that its just a combo of "slow metabolism and bad genes" and gave me the options of appetite suppressors even though my weight gain has NOTHING to do with an appetite problem. He said he doesn't understand and that I am technically a "perfect candidate for weight loss". Like, thanks, I know. Felt really unheard at this consult and my next appointment with him is March 2021 but he doesn't see the point as he does not think he will find anything wrong.
Additional Info (currently):
- Medication: I am on Alesse (birth control pill) since 2014. Both my DR. and endocrinologist do not think this is the cause of my weight gain as I have been on it for so long and have lost weight on it before. I also take Align for my digestive health.
- Medical: As of November 2020 I am still on burnout and plan to be until at least the new year (the job really took its toll on me). However, I see a psychologist 1x week. I also do activities that I enjoy in order to find a greater purpose for my life / destress.
- Workouts: I recently got a treadmill and run 20min/day 5x week and walk 20min/day 5x week. I also am almost always on my feet during the day and walk a lot (I get at least 10k steps a day - and it has been this way since lockdown). I also use resistance bands to "tone" although this hasn't helped me at all. I don't enjoy weights and really love cardio. I also have not had any success in the multiple times that I added weight training to my routine so I just really don't want to hear about it.
- Eating: Sample of my current eating routine:
Breakfast: Half grapefruit + 1 Egg + Water retention tea
Lunch: Lean turkey slices + 1 Laughing Cow cheese in a lettuce wrap with mustard
Snack (Day): Raw veggies (i.e: portioned carrots or red/green pepper with 2 tbs hummus or low calorie tzatziki) + 1 Laughing Cow cheese + 1 tea of choice with 2 cups of Almond milk (60 calories) to make a low-cal latte
Snack (night): Apple with cinnamon + Allegro cheese (1 portion) + 1 Dandelion tea)
Supper: Depends on the day of the week but be:
- Grilled chicken with jasmine rice (100 calories/half cup or 200 calories/cup) and veggies
- 25 calorie Konjac noodles with a protein
- Steak with sweet potato and veggies
- pasta (1-2x week)
- Vegetable burger without the buns
- Tofu with rice or sweet potato and veggies
- Cheat meals: I allow myself 1 cheat meal per week (i.e: pizza, takeout, sushi, fries, nachos, cookies etc.) or else I really feel like I'll go crazy.
- Sleep: 8hr/day
- Digestive: I constantly feel bloated and heavy.
- Overall Feelings: I am becoming more and more depressed and defeated at my lack of weight loss. I don't know what else to do and cry every day as I watch the scale move up no matter what. I used to have a lot of drive to try and lose weight, but the more I see my efforts not working, the more I just feel like it's useless and giving up. I work out more than enough, and I know I am eating ok, so I don't understand why I am having all this trouble. I am completely untoned, nothing fits, and feel so heavy and different. I do not feel like myself at all. I literally avoid mirrors because I just can't look at myself anymore.
I would be able to accept this weight gain if I knew why and how to fix it, but seeing as there are no answers from any professionals and all of my efforts have been futile, I just cannot mentally accept it. I would appreciate any and all serious help/advice.
