How to start without going overboard? *warning, ED mention

Hi community, hoping to get some advice/motivation in a tricky situation. I (30F) spent most of my life fit, around 130 pounds or less at 5,5”. I have an athletic build and was fairly active until about 25/26 ish when I had surgery on my foot/calf. I also have a prior hip surgery on the same leg so it’s safe to say that while I can be active I get sore quickly. I competed in a weight-based sport in high school that easily led to me becoming obsessed with losing/maintaining pounds. At around 21 I started having anorexic tendencies that developed into full-blown bulimia by 22. I dropped to about 117 pounds at my worst but worked hard to kick the habit (mostly) over the next 1.5 years. I still have a random bad day, maybe once every two months. I returned to my 130 pound normal.

Then at 26 my Dad died. I’ve worked the entirety of COVID as a frontline worker at a hospital and the last 3 years have had a lot of stress and depression. I slowly and steadily packed on weight with marijuana-induced munchies as a big contributor. I stopped playing rec sports with pandemic and stopped running after my surgeries. I sit around 157 but totally depends on my water weight and my (lack-of) bowel movements. Now, at 30, I feel in a much better place with a much better headspace and am ready to start a healthy and safe weight loss journey. I know I’m not obese but I can feel the extra weight and it is limiting my fun activities as I have more trouble not getting winded/fatigued. My worry is how to not go 110% into exercise and diet and counting calories because that can tumble back to obsessive tendencies easily. When I get afraid of that though I can’t seem to find motivation to even step a toe forward.

One goal I have is to force myself to walk during my lunch breaks as we have nice paths around the hospital. I’ve also thought about looking at Zumba classes or something as group fitness is much more appealing to me and I did my time with Olympic lifting/circuit workouts in college sports. I’m not focusing on the number on the scale but rather how I feel and how my clothes fit me (most have become tight or unwearable).

I’m not sure what all I’m asking, maybe just an encouraging word or something that helped you start. I never thought about weight in a healthy way so it’s a little scary to start. Thanks all.

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At the end stages of my weight loss journey.

To begin, I used to be fit and athletic and at a healthy weight. Life happened at 15 and in a year and a half I gained about 70-75lbs. Due to more life circumstances I gained an additional 40lbs.

For 15 years I had tried to lose weight with no success. I would lose 20lbs then gain them back. Lose 10lbs and gain those back. In May 2020, a day before my birthday I decided to weigh myself. I thought I was around 180lbs. I was actually 219.9lbs, basically at 220. I was shocked! So, starting on my birthday I decided I wanted to be healthier and lose weight but to do so gradually. Now, after 2 years, I’m around 150lbs. I lost 70lbs.

I went about it by dieting and exercising/walking. I cut out sweets all together. Portion control was also done. Less carbs, more protein and fiber. Cardio weekly as well. All of these changes really helped.

My small goal is to reach 145lbs as to be at a healthy BMI (I know BMI isn’t always the best measure for health). I was an XL and a size 16, now I’m a M/L (depending) and a size 10. My ultimate goal is to be 130-135lbs. I do personal training now weekly to tone up and gain strength.

Throughout this journey I was just so proud that I lost the weight gradually and didn’t gain it back and that my eating habits changed dramatically to becoming healthier. My weakness were carbs and sweets/desserts. I’ve been able to curb my cravings and enjoy my current diet without compromising by eating too many unhealthy foods that would end up in me gaining weight back. Lifestyle really has changed these few years in a positive way, and I hope it’s for the rest of my life (being healthier).

I’m proud that I’ve been consistent, patient, and working hard on being healthier in general. To be honest I never thought I’d lose 70lbs, let alone even just 10! And yes many doctors tried to instill weight loss in my head but it didn’t happen until I really put it in my mind and decided that I really wanted to change.

My only thing that I tell people (many have been commenting on my weight loss irl) is that you might need to be stricter on yourself in the beginning but over time you come to understand what works for you and you have to realize that losing weight takes time and seeing results will happen if you are consistent (although at some points you might plateau).

Now I just need 15-20lbs left to lose. I’m hoping to reach my goals in 6-12 months. I’m just happy and proud of myself for trying and so far succeeding. Never thought I could do what’s been done, so I guess never eliminate the possibilities in life! Weight loss is a journey and for me being healthy is the goal.

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Nobody should make you feel bad for your weight

So I’m 30F, 173lbs and about 5’6. I am doing a weight loss journey for myself and I want to do it in a slow and healthy way FOR ME. I’ve touched base with my doctor too and he doesn’t think I need to lose weight for my health. I actually have a GI issues where my doctor did mention it’s dangerous for me to lose too much weight. I just want to be at a weight that makes me feel healthy and I can do the activities I want.

Now, half of my family is very skinny, shorter than me and weight focused. It’s considered “normal” talk to tell someone “don’t have that cookie it’s not worth the calories” and “everyone should work hard to be at a health BMI” while watching the girl who isn’t at a healthy BMI in the room. Then telling me I should exercise. It’s like I do yoga, I walk, I lift weights, I cycle, I’m pretty active. Also, I’m getting married so I feel everyone is watching me and commenting on what I eat because they believe I should be trying to lose weight for our wedding. I get comments like “your brave to eat that pasta”

What I want to say is focus on your journey and the way you want to do it! I wish there was ways to change this toxic diet culture

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For the first time in my life I bought clothes that I had to return for being too large

I've (M30) been fat my entire life. I don't have a single life memory where I wasn't the fat one. A little less than a year ago I was 344 lbs, about 3 weeks after my 30th birthday. I was days into my 30s and I needed high blood pressure medication.

I finally made some life-changing decisions the day my doctor asked me if I'd ever considered gastric surgery. He asked me that if I was 344 lbs and had hypertension at age 30 then what the hell was I expecting for age 40? He referred me to a gastric specialist.

Today I weigh 242 lbs, all from CICO. I moved away from that area so that guy's not my physician anymore, but I should send that doctor a thank-you note for a wake-up call that finally broke through my thick skull.

I've done the weight loss song and dance before. I'd drop some weight, sometimes I'd drop a lot, but it always felt unsustainable and ultimately I'd crack and start eating too much again. This time has been different--in the past I would crash diet; my idea of a diet back in college was a half-bowl of oatmeal in the morning, a Kashi bar for lunch and a small amount of cold cuts for dinner, with appetite suppressed by about 1.5 gallons of water throughout the day.

Now I'm eating enough to feel that it's sustainable, 1400-1500 calories, but I'm eating broccoli and zucchini and kale and so much cauliflower--I'm eating all the things that I spent my first 30 years avoiding (and, irony, some of this stuff tastes delicious). And I'm straight up melting.

I didn't want to spend money on new clothes until I knew that this was real, so I set a lofty milestone for myself. I would buy new clothes once I dropped 100 pounds. Milestone achieved, woohoo, so buy new clothes I did.

I didn't have an accurate way to measure my waist, don't have one of those sewing tape-measures. So I took my fat pants, size 52 waist, and scrunched up the excess. Then I marked it and measured the excess; 6 inches of excess, not bad. So I bought some size 46 shorts.

Never once in my life have I had the experience of having to exchange for a smaller size. Feels kind of surreal. I remember once in college I'd had the same pair of 44 jeans for years. When I went to buy new ones I went one size up--as was my custom--and the 46 jeans were no where close to fitting. I needed at least 48s. I'd spend two days feeling like shit, maybe try crash dieting again for a couple months, but years later I was in size 52s 🤡.

Anyway, the size 44s will be here in a few days. Just wanted to brag, I guess.

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Post-surgery, I miss working out

I had surgery last Friday and I was told to wait a week before exercising again. I’m going to wait two weeks just to be safe, though, because I’ve had weak/dizzy spells this week, and I also ate significantly under my calories for a few days, so I need to make sure I’m in proper health before I restart. I see all these posts about how people are walking, running, biking, lifting, etc. every day, how much progress they’re making, and it’s great.

But… I feel like I’m getting behind on my weight loss every day that I don’t feel ready to go back. I feel anxious that I’m not doing enough, and I feel discouraged because I want to hurry up and drop the rest of my weight. I feel guilty that I can’t take care of my body the way I want to. I think it’s good that I’m feeling this way, though, because I’m even more motivated to get back into it.

Additionally, I am so proud of everyone who has worked out this week, and also everyone who hasn’t, because you’re still reading my post and interested in giving yourself better health. Please remember you can do this and keep going, no matter your health plans!

I just wanted to vent. Thank you for listening. 7 pounds down, 36 to go. I’ve got this.

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It's time to commit!

I'm making this post mostly for myself, to cement the idea that I am committed to my goals, and so I can come back and look at them when I need to.

I've been overweight since I was 13. I've never made weight loss a goal in my life for a variety of reasons, most of which don't really matter currently. The large strokes are mental illness and a deep love of food. My mental health is currently stable and well managed, which is great, but I had a health crisis in December (got COVID and almost died) and the recovery has been slow. It was definitely one of those "oh shit" life moments where you take a good long look at your life and your priorities line up nicely.

Since December I was barely able to walk anywhere without getting ill, and in putting the focus on clawing my way through life plagued by constant migraines and brain fog, my not-healthy-but-not-too-awful eating habits went in the garbage and I ended up gaining quite a bit of weight, not sure how much exactly but enough to go up a pants size.

I finally found a good medication to manage my migraines and my worst long COVID symptoms seem to be going away (knock on wood) so I wanna use this spot as a jumping off point to continue improving my health, at least the things I have control over.

So! Today I woke up and the scale told me I weigh more currently than I ever have before, an eye watering kind of number for me to see, so today I'm making a change, June 30, 2022! I was gonna wait til tomorrow to start on a nice round day but why bother waiting, right?

Me today: 5'11", 29, NB AFAB, 270 lbs

GW: 199.99 lbs I don't care how long it takes, how many baby steps, how many backslides, I'm gonna do it.

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Now it makes sense why THIS anniversary night was Sooooo! Much! Fun! 🤪 35/F/5'1" SW:200lbs, GW:120lbs, CW:120lbs

My husband and I had our 17 year anniversary this past weekend. When this photo popped up in my 'remember when' photo reels, I was shocked at the difference! I actually still had the same outfit, so I ran to try it on again.

For Foks Sake! GOT! DAMN! I CANNOT take my eyes off this before and after! It's hard to believe even with the evidence right there! Here is the before and after: https://imgur.com/a/LhNwaqN

I have to say, this makes so much sense as to why that anniversary night seemed waaaaaaay more incredible compared to other nights. We have a very healthy bedroom life, but anniversaries, I get a little more adventurous. I was doing things I had only seen. Positions that used to be awkward, I was flowing into them better than the #1 OF star. I wasn't tired when I took over. I was trying to remember if I took drugs - there's NO WAY I'd be this flexible sober. (Yes! I was sober - that's the even more shocking part!) But nah, I was coo and just getting high from climaxing. I actually lost use of my legs for minute and had to camp on the floor. (I'm now realizing I'm going to have to leave my husband; the bar has been set too high for future sessions.)

It's not used enough, but 'sexy time tricks' should be the #1 motivator for adult weight loss!!

Anyway, I'm still trying super hard to maintain and tone. Still going to kickboxing 3x a week and weight training 2x a week. Still watching my portions and what I eat. Still making sure I'm lazy the majority of the week. Def making sure I'm enjoying a cocktail every once in while - I earned it and enjoying it reminds me to be social.

I don't have any updates, it's only been 2 months, but I still have December as my goal month. Hopefully, I'll still have maintained my weight and toned up my muscles and skin.

Here is my document about my previous progress, I'm still basically following everything from here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ab_nuDnfbTo5kDMv6gIReMVeLDxWagf-LVqqeNLWKR8/edit?usp=drivesdk

Thanks for the support guys!!

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