the road so far (i'm miserable) (vent/seeking advice)

tw: mentions of disordered eating

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I've been going through it so hard recently, and I'm here seeking any advice you can give.

Things have been hard.

Little backstory: I've gone down from my highest of about 170-80 during around my freshman year of high school to about 120 now, as a senior. I'm 5'3, and with the way my body holds fat, I'd like to lose about five to ten more pounds. This entire journey has hardly been a straight shot. I binged a lot, and it's a habit that I am still working on mending that has made me very sad for a long time.

A little under two weeks ago, I weighed in at the lightest I've been in so long -- 115! -- and it was exhilarating. The only reason I'd been able to get down that low, though, is through restricting a lot more than what's considered healthy. And that's bad, I know, and entirely unsustainable, but it was addicting for the short while I was able to maintain it. I felt so accomplished, which is stupid because I've now been binging and overeating more so bad. And I'm miserable. I'm afraid of the scale, and I feel as though I've gained noticeable weight. Last night, I weighed in at 122 which was after I'd eaten, which isn't a terrible increase, but it's so, so disheartening to see that after being able to reach 115. I think I probably have gained at least a pound of fat back, and I feel like it's so clear and noticeable. I feel like my stomach isn't as flat as it was and like my cheeks are puffy, and that sucks majorly when all I want is to be slim.

I know I sound stupid, and whiny, and so stereotypically teenage, but this has all been taking a severe toll on my mental health. This past week or so, my life has just been trying to restrict, getting so sad when I fail miserably, and then so much binging. When I have days of clarity where I try not to restrict myself so much, I... still binge? It just feels like if I don't heavily restrict, I'll end up gaining way too much from never ending sessions of overeating. I've tried to employ helpful tactics, though, and I think that my binges have gotten less bad. I've tried to forgive myself, not be mean to myself when I give in, distract myself with other activities, neutralize food, etc... I know I have to fuel myself with nutritious food and mend my tendency to leaning on junk for comfort, but it's so hard not to eat emotionally when I'm this damn emotionally damaged. I've been so genuinely depressed as of late and I hate it. I've started missing out on fun activities with friends because I just don't want to be seen or be around anyone.

I know some people will suggest therapy. I have my first meeting with some psychiatrist or something that my mom set up on Tuesday, and I'm going to speak with her and see if she can help or refer me to someone. So that's good! I know that getting my mental issues under control could then help repair my relationship with food and my body.

The advice I think I'm asking for here is... how can I start living a life where I eat... regularly? It's so hard to exist within a life where it feels like my only two options are restrict too much or eat too much. Like, once I start the day with it in mind that I'm not going to overdo my restriction, it's like my stomach becomes a bottomless pit and I just want to keep on eating. I know that I ultimately just need to apply more self control, but it's still something I struggle a lot with. Eating breakfast, I feel, makes me binge later in the day, though that might just be because a 1200 calorie limit's still sort of low. But my TDEE's like 1550? So I feel like I have to go pretty low.

Also, I genuinely cannot discern whether or not counting calories helps me or harms me. Because when I try not to count, I freak out not knowing my exact intake, but when I do count, I find myself viewing food simply as their calorie counts and then my meals feel unsatisfying, if that makes sense. This is probably something I just have to figure out myself. All of this is not helped by the fact that I'm practically sedentary. I just sit around all day thinking and stressing about food and feeling so, so miserable about the state of my body. I don't know how to eat "normally." I don't know how that works. I had a plan for myself set where I can skip breakfast 'cause I'm usually not hungry for it anyways, then have a big lunch and a big dinner. Is that something still worth sticking to? I find that since I don't move much I don't really get the right hunger cues, and it feels like I'm never actually hungry, so I don't know when I should be eating. And I feel guilty over snacking, too, even if it fits in my deficit because I feel like I'm never actually hungry when I go to eat them. I think increasing my activity level would help fix like half the problems I have, maybe.

I know I wrote a lot here and I hope some of you took the time to at least skim. Any advice about anything I've talked about here would be stellar. I'd also appreciate if people discussed what a full day of eating for sustainable weight loss looks like for them. Or you could suggest recipes (I am a vegan!) or beginner workouts, or ways to overcome food guilt, or ways to be at peace with my body, or anything! I think I really just need support right now. I feel very alone and very sad. :(

I know all this is so stupid to be this worked up over, and that I could have worse problems than not liking my pudgy stomach, but my brain has a way of amplifying things and I've never been this unhappy and this afraid of gaining weight. I want to get to a point where I am losing weight healthily, not feeling shame, not hating myself. I want to be able to go to college in the fall feeling happy and secure. I know this stuff is mainly stuff meant for a therapist to deal with (hopefully I'll have one soon!) but I've seen people giving pretty good tips on this sub before and I'm desperate.

Thank you party people!!!

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Anyone have a connection between weight loss and cleaning/organizing their home?

Hi Everyone,

Like the title suggests, I find that when I'm ready to lose weight, I'm also very motivated to clean/organize my house. I'm not a bad house keeper and have routine of cleaning on Sundays. However, when I get serious about weight loss and I'm ready to commit to the behavioral changes....I find that I'm ready to tackle the bigger cleaning projects. I'm talking about cleaning out closets, getting rid of old items, organizing. I find that I start to take on the bigger projects like taking down all your light fixtures and dusting/ cleaning, scrubbing baseboards, washing blinds. Anyone else have a similar experience?

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7 Science-Backed Ways to Make Your New Year Habits Stick

A healthy lifestyle is built from healthy habits. Instead of motivating yourself each time you want to exercise, eat healthy portions, get adequate sleep or meditate, these behaviors become automatic … the same way putting on your seat belt is automatic when you get in a car, or grabbing your phone to scroll is automatic when you feel a little bored.

But building those habits takes time. You may have heard that a new habit takes 21 days to form, but it can take much longer. In a 2009 study, scientists found that new habits took an average of 66 days to take hold. For some participants, habits took up to 254 days—most of a year—to stick.

So give yourself time, and help yourself along with these seven research-backed ways to reinforce your new year habits.

1. Make your new year habit specific and bite-sized.

In a study, researchers found that smaller goals work better. One group of children were assigned to try to do six pages of math problems in each of seven study sessions. Another group was just told to try to finish all 42 pages by the end of the seventh session. The group that broke things down into six at a time were much more successful.

You’re not a kid learning math, but this works for you, too. Instead of setting a goal that “I’m going to exercise more,” or even “I’m going to exercise five times per week,” make it specific and smaller. Try setting a goal like “I’ll work out for 15 minutes every weekday,” or “I’ll walk for 20 minutes every day.”

Too big? Go even smaller: Set a goal to walk for just five minutes per day to start, so the habit is easy to stick to.

2. Set a time for your new habit.

Research has shown that goals are more likely to be achieved when they’re tied to a situation. You’re more likely to perform behavior Y if you do it when situation X arises, versus just saying, “I’m trying to do more Y.”

One way to create a “situation X” for your habit is to set a time for it: Just like you brush your teeth when you wake up, tie your new habit to a specific time or event during your day. Building on the walking habit from above, aim not just to go for a five-minute walk every day—go for that walk after lunch, or before breakfast, right when you get home from work, or at another time that works for your schedule.

3. Associate your habit with fun.

You don’t need a scientific study to tell you that you’re more likely to do things that you enjoy, but here’s one anyway: Scientists have found that when a workout is fun, people are more likely to do it. And when a class has music, students are more motivated to learn.

Tie your new, healthy habit to something you enjoy. Go to a fun exercise or dance class if you don’t like traditional gym workouts. Or don’t just go for a post-lunch walk: listen to a new true crime podcast you really love while you do it!

4. Partner up!

Don’t go it alone! One study found that when you tell someone else you’ve got a goal, you become 65 percent more likely to accomplish it. And when that partner checks in with you regularly, your chances of success skyrocket to 95 percent.

Find someone else who also wants to form a healthy habit—the same habit as you, or another one—and check in with them daily. Cheer each other on, keep each other accountable and you’ll both be more likely to succeed.

DID YOU KNOW?: Nutrisystem offers Partner Plans designed for two people! Lose up to 20% more weight together versus trying it on your own.*

5. Reward yourself for performing your habit.

Habits are built on a loop of a cue or trigger, followed by a routine, and then a brain chemical reward. Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a habit of eating a sugary snack right after work. Your cue is arriving home from work. The routine? Grabbing the sugary snack. The reward is the feel-good chemicals, like dopamine, that are released by your brain when you eat them.

When we develop new, healthy habits, we often forget to reward ourselves. When you perform your goal habit, reinforce it with a reward: Even just giving yourself a mental high five or telling yourself that you’ve done a good job can provide a chemical reward that may help you do it again. Speaking of which…

6. Say your new year habits out loud each day.

When you say your goals or affirmations about yourself out loud, your brain believes you. In a study, scientists found that “future oriented” self-affirmations activated the brain’s rewards systems, and also led participants to be more active. So saying “I will” in a statement you say aloud makes your brain light up, and makes you more likely to achieve the goal.

Use this power to your advantage! Write down your bite-sized, time-specific habit goals, and say them each morning: “I will walk for 20 minutes after lunch today while listening to my favorite true crime podcast.” Do so, and you could be more likely to succeed.

7. Make your environment help you.

“Out of sight, out of mind” isn’t just a cliché. When it comes to goals, it’s real. A research review from 2018 found that “environmental pressures” helped people reach goals more than just trying to will themselves to change.

That can literally mean keeping temptations away from yourself. In one study, scientists found that when a candy dish was further away, office workers ate less candy than when it was close at hand. So if there are tempting, triggering snacks you’re hoping to avoid, make them hard to reach. Store them in a high, deep cabinet that requires you to really work to get them. This creates time for you to consider whether you really want to indulge.

And to reinforce positive habits, make your environment push you towards things that help your goals. Place a bowl of fresh fruit out where you can see it. Store your packed gym bag or walking shoes right by the door. Keep a Nutrisystem snack bar handy in your purse or work bag for when a sweet craving strikes. Or fill the front of your fridge with pre-cut, tasty vegetables so they’re easy to grab and munch on.

*Scientific literature shows better results among small groups compared to those who tried losing weight alone.

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Body image issues after weight loss

This is a weird vent to have but I don’t know who else to tell about this. I’ve lost 16 kg/35 lbs, which, for someone at my height, really shows. In a lot of ways I’m very happy with what I’ve achieved, even if I still have some ways to go. But I’m now entering the problem where I look in the mirror and it’s difficult for me to recognise myself. My body, I think, looks better? But it’s really difficult for me to tell and I am getting upset about it without really understanding why. It’s almost like I’m struggling to accept that this is me now and this is also compounded by the irrational fear that this is all a fluke and I will somehow gain all the weight back overnight.

A big factor is that none of my clothes fit properly anymore. Everything is about two sizes too big for me and I’m finding myself very upset about it. I know it’s the kind of thing where people will respond with “you’re so lucky” or “I wish I had that problem” and I get that but also I really liked my clothes. I can’t afford to change my whole all wardrobe and I now hate how everything looks on me. I feel like I’m being ungrateful which is also giving me some kind of feeling of guilt, like my feelings are wrong and bad. I don’t really understand it but it feels unpleasant and I’ve been struggling with it a lot this particular week.

Has anyone had these or similar feelings after weight loss (no matter how big or small) and how did you cope with them?

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Is weight loss as simple as calories in VS calories burned?

I need to lose some weight and have lost about 20 pounds from cutting my diet down significantly and doing cardio every day but since the initial weight has fallen off, it’s proving a little harder to lose the rest. I have also relaxed a bit on my diet as, I think I was consuming more so around 1000 or 1200 cal instead of 1500 like my doctor recommended. He made it as simple as as many calories as you consume versus how many calories you burn is weight gain and weight loss.

For instance, if I eat 500 cal of food and then immediately go outside and run and burn 500 calories in exercise, does it effectively cancel out that 500 calorie meal I ate immediately before it when it comes to weight gain?

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Questions for Men after significant weight loss

For men that lost a significant amount of weight, did you notice a change in your voice? Did it get deeper? What about facial hair? Does your beard look more full since the skin contracts and so there is less space between the hair follicles having more surface area and so it may seem like your beard isn't fully grown if a fat face? Lastly...has anyone actually gotten adult acquired buried penis and had it resolved by the fat loss or did you have to get surgical intervention as well? How were the results post-surgery if you did have to get it? As I hate to admit and embarrassing as it is...my thing is like MAX between 2-3 inches fully erect and that is with me pushing as far back as I can on my fatpad. I do have a lot of fat around the groin/abdomen area.

MEN!! It would be great to hear your experience, advice, and tips.

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Feeling Burnt Out in the Kitchen? How to Lose Weight Without Home-Cooking Every Meal

Have you ever spent your precious weekend hours meal planning and grocery shopping for healthy meals, only to get home exhausted and order takeout? Or maybe you’ve been so overwhelmed about where to start in the kitchen that you keep pushing off your health goals and feel stuck?

You’ve probably heard that the only healthy way to lose weight is to home-cook all your meals from whole foods and avoid anything in a package. However, this is not accurate or practical for most people. Instead, this unattainable ideal can actually set you up for failure and leave you feeling burnt out.

Consider that the average person spends 37 minutes per day on food prep. Diets that require hours of cooking are simply not sustainable for the typical adult’s busy schedule.

But here’s the good news: plenty of convenience foods are just as healthy as freshly-prepared whole foods, and they can help you reach your weight loss goals without feeling burnt out in the kitchen.

Get ready to say goodbye to the food perfectionist mindset with the following dietitian-approved cooking shortcuts that make healthy eating easy and enjoyable.

Stock Up on Easy Proteins

Forgot to defrost chicken breast? No time to marinate? No problem! Plenty of quick and easy protein options are just as healthy as grilled chicken.

• Canned Beans – Super filling and high in protein and fiber, canned beans are both convenient and nutritious. Choose lower sodium options and thoroughly rinse them, which reduces sodium by about another 41%. Add them to salads, pasta dishes or burritos.
• Rotisserie Chicken – For just a few bucks, the average rotisserie chicken will give you three cups of ready-to-eat protein. Remove the skin, and a three-ounce portion of mixed light and dark meat will provide about 135 calories and 23 grams of protein – nearly the same nutrition as plain chicken breast without all the prep.
• Store-Bought Hard-Boiled Eggs – Providing six grams of protein each, hard boiled eggs make a great snack and are perfect for whipping up a quick egg salad. Opt for preservative-free brands, and you’ll get the same nutrition as if you’d made them yourself, without spending the 20 minutes doing it.
• Protein Bars – Don’t have time to make homemade energy bites (who does)? Protein bars paired with fruit make a great breakfast on the go. Having one in your bag can also help you avoid the vending machine when afternoon hunger strikes. Look for options under 200 calories with at least 10 grams of protein and minimal artificial flavors, sweeteners and preservatives.  

Buy Frozen Vegetables and Fruits

Sick of throwing out produce that you didn’t have the time or energy to prepare? Stock up on frozen fruits and vegetables.

Not only are they super convenient (i.e., already prepped and cut), but they are just as nutritious as their fresh counterparts. Frozen at their peak of freshness, they can even provide better quality than fresh produce, which is bumped and bruised during shipping.

Plus, research has shown that cooking frozen vegetables in steamable microwave bags retains essential nutrients like vitamin C and antioxidants.

Check the labels and choose plain frozen fruits and vegetables without added sauces, syrup, or seasonings. Then use them:

• Steamed, stir-fried or roasted as a side dish.
• Blended into smoothies.
• Mixed into overnight oats.
• Added to soups or stews.

Use Quick Cooking Grains

Swapping refined grains for whole grains is one of the best things you can do to boost weight loss and improve your overall health.

The fiber and nutrients in whole grain foods protect your heart and gut health. Fiber-rich foods also travel slowly through your digestive system, keeping you feeling full so you naturally eat fewer calories throughout the day.

However, when it takes close to an hour to cook whole grains like brown rice, this can be easier said than done.

The good news is that microwavable brown and wild rice can be just as healthy as traditional rice options. While minute rice is partially pre-cooked before packaging, it retains all three parts of the whole grain and their nutrients.

Plus, unlike quick-cooking oats, this pre-cooking step doesn’t impact the glycemic index of minute rice, so it’s still a good choice for keeping blood sugars steady throughout the day.

Choose plain brown rice or wild rice without extra seasonings to keep sodium in check. Other quick-cooking whole grains include:

• Quinoa
• Whole Grain Couscous
• Bulgar
• Barley

Build a Meal from Bagged Salad Mix

Spare yourself from buying and chopping multiple ingredients to meal prep salads by grabbing a few bagged salad mixes.

Divide each bag into three to four portions, then add a few simple extra ingredients to make them meal-worthy. Here are some favorite combinations:

• Add avocado and black beans to a southwest salad mix.
• Add rotisserie chicken and mandarin orange slices to an Asian salad mix.
• Add quinoa and hard-boiled eggs to a light Caesar salad mix.
• Add hummus, cherry tomatoes and feta cheese to a spring mix.

Based on your calorie goals, you can portion out the included salad dressing or toss it and use your preferred dressing.

Incorporate Pre-Made Meals

Studies have consistently shown that following a structured plan, including portion-controlled meal replacement products, improves weight loss success, particularly in the first six months of making dietary changes.

These products help simplify food choices and make it easier to assess calorie and nutrient intake accurately.

Incorporating healthier frozen entrees or meal replacement shakes into a balanced plan is an easy way to build momentum toward your goals.

This practice is the basis of the Nutrisystem approach to weight loss. Nutrisystem weight loss plans are based on the nutrient exchange system and provide structured meal plans that allow you to use your own foods in combination with convenient pre-made meals.

Nutrisystem foods are made with minimal preservatives and no artificial flavors or sweeteners. All of the Nutrisystem programs are designed to align with the USDA’s recommended daily intake of 2,300 mg of sodium or less for the general adult population (Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2020 – 2025). The actual sodium level may vary based on which weight loss program you choose and which grocery food items you add to your diet plan.

Multiple plan options allow you to choose how many Nutrisystem foods you use. As you get the hang of the program, you can even transition to using more of your own foods, using the NuMi app to help you stay on track.

Key Takeaway

You don’t need to get overwhelmed trying to create the perfect home-cooked, whole food diet plan to achieve your goals. Plenty of convenience foods are perfectly healthy.

When incorporated into a balanced plan, meal replacement products like those available through the Nutrisystem programs can be an effective way to get started.

The best way to learn is by doing, so find options that will realistically help you take a first step – even if it’s a small step. These small changes will add up over time to something big.

References

• Hamrick S., Karen and McClelland, Ket. Americans’ Eating Patterns and Time Spent on Food: The 2014 Eating & Health Module Data, EIB-158, U.S. Department of Agriculture, Economic Research Service, July 2016.
• Duyff R, et al. Sodium Reduction in Canned Beans After Draining, Rinsing. J. Culin. Sci. Technol. 2011;9:106 -112.
• Zhong X, Dolan K, Almenar E. Effect of steamable bag microwaving versus traditional cooking methods on nutritional preservation and physical properties of frozen vegetables: A case study on broccoli (Brassica oleracea). IFSET. 2015;31: 116-122.
• Howarth NC, Saltzman E, Roberts SB. Dietary fiber and weight regulation. Nutr Rev. 2001;59(5):129-139.
• Look AHEAD Research Group, Wadden TA, West DS, et al. The Look AHEAD study: a description of the lifestyle intervention and the evidence supporting it [published correction appears in Obesity (Silver Spring). 2007 May;15(5):1339.

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