Quick primer - I am about 3 weeks into my weight loss journey, with the intent to lose about 60 pounds. In the first 2 weeks, I stopped drinking full sugar soda (which I drank a lot of), increase daily activity from pretty darn sedentary to at least 60 minutes/6000 steps daily. Also eating on roughly a 500 deficit on a daily basis (cutting out soda made this pretty easy, actually). I generally don't eat a whole lot anyway, I realized I was drinking way too many calories. I don't weigh every day. I usually weigh every couple weeks and measure my belly (where most of my bulk is) as well. In the first 2 weeks, I lost 5 pounds and 3 inches off my belly. That was as of a week ago.
I have been doing well with eating and not feeling deprived. However, as we all know...Christmas is a tough time for most of us. So much good stuff that is so much bad :(
I am trying not to be too hard on myself, but the closer we get to the Christmas Eve/Day celebrations and family gatherings, the harder it is getting to not just want to indulge. If I am being honest, it really is the only time of the year I am in this mindset.
I have already give myself permission to be sensible with portions, but not beat myself up, and expecting to bust my budget over the next few days. Mentally, I feel this is the best way to go.
I have run into a conundrum though that I hadn't thought about. Christmas is my wife and 11 year old daughter's absolute favorite time of year. They love making ALL kinds of sweets - candy (which I don't eat a lot of), fudge, cookies, peanut butter bars (my favorite), cheesecake, etc. This is the only time of the year they do this. Furthermore, not only do they enjoy making all this stuff, they enjoy sharing it and seeing the enjoyment of the rest of the family as well. So, this baking has already started. They totally support what I am doing in trying to lose weight, but I just realized today that they seem disappointed that I am not eating any of it and honestly I feel it is taking part of their joy out of it and I feel more terrible about that fact than I do about eating it. So, now it has suddenly gotten harder and I am not sure what to do.
And what I mean about I can have just one being a lie - each year, they try a new recipe or 2 and, of course I have to try it. I actually really like taking all the ingredients and building the nutrition facts and splitting it into servings so that I at least know what I am eating; however, this ultimately makes me feel even more conflicted than if I just blindly eat it (ignorance is bliss, after all). One of the cookies they made smelled so good and when my wife offered me one, I initially declined, and I could see her body language drop and I felt horrible, so I figured out the calories and decided I can have just one. It was SO good that now I totally want another one and I am struggling!
I haven't yet decided if I am going to actually obsess and count nutrition on Monday and Tuesday or just realize that I am going to bust my budget and that I don't plan on weighing myself again for another 2 weeks (simply because I am worried about my motivation if I see it going back up slightly).
Not sure the point of the post - it isn't really a vent, just sharing I suppose. I was totally prepared to be vigilant, but wasn't expecting how it was going to affect my family's Holiday experience, so to speak. Again, they are totally supportive and understand, but I don't want them to be sad over something ultimately trivial so long as I stick with it after Tuesday.
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