I'm 16 years old. 150 pounds. I'm not obese–Hell, technically, my BMI indicates I'm not even overweight–but I'd really really really like to lose 15-20 pounds of fat. I have a bit of a belly, so I suck in my stomach throughout the day at school. I wear a heavy sweater on a daily basis to make people think "He's not fat; it's just that sweater of his is baggy." I live on the coast, but I've always been too self-conscious to take off my shirt and go to the beach or go swimming. This insecurity has plagued me for the past two years, and I've been trying to drop to 130 for that long.
Two years?!? You've been hovering around 150 for two years? is what you're most likely thinking. No, I actually started at 165. After months of crash dieting, binge-eating, downright starving myself, and weight gain, I stopped. I stopped doing everything wrong and nothing right and started doing...nothing. Instead of consuming solely weight loss supplements (seriously), I started eating normally again, meaning I was no longer binge-eating. Naturally, I lost 10 pounds.
Fast forward to January 1st, 2019. The ball had just dropped in Times Square, and I was committed to fat loss. I wanted to go about doing so properly. And I did!
I calculated my TDEE and subtracted 500 from it. I counted calories by using an Excel sheet I made. I rarely sabotaged my deficit, and I adjusted my expectations accordingly when I did. I weighed myself weekly. I didn't lie to myself about anything. I did everything right every step of the way.
I lost five pounds by the beginning of February, and I felt electric as a result.
I pulled an all-nighter on the 3rd, and I spent the entirety of the 4th feeling disoriented and detached from reality. Nothing mattered. Including what I ate. A huge binge ensued. It lasted...five hours?
The fact it was an all-nighter that threw a wrench in my plans isn't very important and is actually comical. Since the 4th, though, I haven't been able to get back on track. My mindset is what's stopping me. I can't think long-term. My impulse control is nonexistent. I wake up wanting to diet. At breakfast time, I'm unstoppable. At lunch time, I'm considering binging. Once I get home after school, I eat and eat and eat. If I can't do the right thing for one day, how can I expect to lose any more fat?
How can I fix my frame of mind?
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