I've lost more hope than weight.

I feel like giving up on myself. On everything.

I used to be fit. Not crazy fit, but enough. I ran 4km 4-5 days a week, played badminton and swam fairly regularly in college.

I stopped everything because I was studying for an exam that would determine the course of my life. In 6 months I gained 15kg. It's all my fault, I stress ate like crazy and sat in one place to study all day. Also, depression and anxiety got me on SSRIs and that just made it worse. And PCOS, yay. I had a BMI of 23-24 throughout college, now I'm at 29.5. Doesn't help that I'm short.

I've had weight gain before but I've always lost it. Now for the first time I've been fat for more than 6 months and I'm not being able to lose it.

My clothes don't fit, all I can wear is leggings. I still have another super important exam that I'm stressed for and need to study for, so I'm not being able to focus on weight loss. I spend all day craving my stress foods and I get depressed and cranky when I don't allow myself to eat them. I feel like my whole day is consumed by worrying about my weight and my appearance. I've joined a gym and I'm trying to control what I eat, but everything is making me miserable. I want to stress eat so bad but I don't let myself. I'm just miserable.

I hate my body and I don't know what to do. It's my 24th birthday in two weeks. The dress I wanted to wear doesn't fit.

Sorry for the depressing post. I apologize if it violates the rules. I just didn't know where else to put this.

submitted by /u/catedoge282
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2GtNp60