SV: I've officially hit my first goal: Onederland! Also some lessons I've learned about getting healthy.

Long post ahead folks.

First things first – I've lost weight before. At the time I was just under the weight I reached today (196lbs to be exact) and I dropped around 40lbs in an exceptionally unhealthy way. I became very obsessive and eventually my SO convinced me that I needed to stop.

Fast forward 2 years and I stepped on the scale to find myself even heavier than I was the first time I tried to lose weight. I knew I needed to do something about it but I was also worried that I'd fall into bad patterns. So this time I promised myself I'd do it slowly. I wouldn't count every calorie but also do some intuitive eating. I wouldn't just STOP eating altogether. I'd exercise a little but not so much that I would faint in the middle of the street. You know, the basic be good to yourself stuff that doesn't always come easy to the people who've been taught they're nothing just because they take up more physical space than others.

And it has been working. I started around 6 months ago and I've lost 35lbs. Unlike last time I can actually see the change in the mirror. Like, actually see it. What's more, I believe it. I don't think the scale is lying to me or that the clothes were always this loose when they certainly weren't. I'm making progress. Seeing that I'd made it to onederland and my first tangible scale goal today made me so happy, and instead of planning out how I could loose more faster I went for a walk in the sunshine (I live in Australia), bought myself some new bras (very much needed), and had an ice cream just because I felt like it.

Onto the lessons (which are working for me and hopefully might help someone else).

1. Weight loss doesn't need to be fast. It doesn't need to be slow either, it just needs to work for you. I think the problem with fast weight loss for me is that it becomes far too much like a hurdle that I have to jump over before everything can go back to normal. That way of thinking is bad for me in many ways – the least of which is that getting healthy is a lifestyle change that doesn't have an end date. I think it's easy to look at the awesome progress people make on here and get a little caught up in it. Those achievements are amazing and you all rule! But there's nothing wrong with taking it slow. It doesn't take away from what you're doing. We're all just here trying to be better versions of ourselves.
2. Exercise isn't everything, but if you're going to do it find something you enjoy. Exercise totally helps and I've been doing it but it's not a dealbreaker. Also, you don't have to go to the gym 3/4/5 days a week if that's not your jam. I go to yoga because it helps with my anxiety and I found a studio I really like. Sometimes I only go once a week and sometimes I don't go at all because I don't feel like it. I try and treat exercise in the same way I do food, in that it's not a hurdle but something I'm incorporating into my everyday life.
3. Everything in moderation. Sometimes my calorie deficient is 600 calories for the day. Sometimes it's 200 calories for the day. Sometimes I have no idea what it is and I just trust myself. Because I love food. I actually write about it pretty often for my job. I didn't want to go back to the place where I'd made something I love the enemy. Because for me, food is not the enemy. My unhealthy eating can be traced back to plenty of mental/emotional issues and overeating is just a symptom. So, if I want pasta I eat it – but only a small portion. Or, if I want an ice cream I log it and adjust my calories for the day. Or, sometimes (but not too often), I just eat something because I want it and that's the end of it. I won't undo all my work with one burger – it's when I'm eating one secret McDonalds meal a day that I have to be worried.
4. Address the emotional stuff. I don't know about anyone else but, in some ways, I had a pretty messed up childhood. To say I eat my feelings is the simplest way to explain what I do to cope with some of my pain. There's a lot more to it than that though. And talking to someone about it, really going in deep and not shying away from the hard stuff, has helped with so much more than just the number on the scale. I highly recommend doing it even if you think you're totally fine. Sometimes it's good just to talk to someone who is completely seperate from your life.

Okay I think that's probably long enough. I guess I have to think what my next tangible goal will be now (I'm thinking 180lbs). Thanks so much for reading and I hope this helps some of you in some way!

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