Today a uni pal I hadn’t seen in a while came over, and in front of some of our friends loudly asked me if I’d lost weight. He had the best intentions, however all I felt was incredibly embarrassed and uncomfortable, and didn’t know how to respond before making a joke of it and changing the subject.
Having grown up fat, weight has always been a really sensitive subject for me, and until a few years ago I could barely stand to be part of any conversation pertaining to weight, regardless of whether mine was involved, which it almost never was. I’ve never been able to discuss my weight with anyone, jokingly or not, and it took me almost a year to say anything to my therapist.
I’ve lost about 10kg over a couple months so it’s been a slow progress and not too many people have noticed, however whenever anyone does my reaction is always the same - embarrassed and uncomfortable. I never really understood why until someone pointed out to me that essentially someone acknowledging my weight loss means acknowledging I used to be(/still am, just less) fat, and that my weight is an issue. Even though I rationally know everyone can see my body and see I’m overweight, I’m always in gentle denial due to the shame I carry over my weight.
Anyone else experience similar feelings?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2VsVZ8D
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