Going to bed hungry

Tonight and last night I stopped eating after dinner. No second helping. No dessert. No snacks while watching tv.

I often go all day without eating but the evening time my appetite comes alive. And I think it's killing my weight loss efforts.

So I'm trying this.

Yesterday I didn't eat until dinner - then one helping of dinner and I was done for the night. Today I was hungry during the day so I had lunch...and then dinner several hours later.

Also worked out both days. Drank 8 glasses of water both days.

I feel good. I feel in control. 2 days is nothing but if I can stop eating after dinner (at least 5 days a week) then Im hoping that would be enough to get the scale moving in the right direction.

Still weighing myself every day. Not planning to count calories...though I did do some rough numbers today and I think I was right around 1500.

Hoping this is maintainable and that it works.

F 5'5" cw 185 gw 135-155 (not sure if 135 is possible for me...I'd be happy to be in the 150s again though I'd love to be lower)

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I need a new suit, my old one is way too big

I'm most likely sub 300 lbs as of writing this however I haven't had my weigh in day yet (I have a schedule for this)

At my heaviest, I didn't even weigh myself, honestly I most likely around 350-360 LBs maybe even more...like my breakfast (and I'm guessing) would easily be 1,000 calories, my lunch would be 1,000 calories, my dinner would be 1,500+ calories, plus snacks, plus I would consume a lot of empty calories in the form of cokes/energy drinks/alcohol I was a big boy. When I sat in my car I could feel the side of my door and arm rest pushing into my sides just slightly (now I don't feel that anymore) I officially started my weight loss at 345. Although before I weighed myself I spent awhile watching what I eat in an effort to cut down before I stepped on the scale for the first time. Thinking back I wish I hadn't done that.

However back to the story at my heaviest I guess I was somewhere around 350-360, and very much out of shape. For work I had a suit made for special occassions. I even remember the tailor commenting on how big I was in a joking way. Anyway when I got that suit and tried it on for the first time it honestly felt a bit tight. Last time I wore that suit was back in January when I was around 345. It felt perfectly back then.

However today I had to wear it for work and when I put it on my girlfriend was like "That's way too big for you" and I looked in the mirror and she was right, it's WAY TO BIG FOR ME. Keep in mind this was a suit that was custom made for me by a tailor it wasn't something I bought off the store shelf. Took 3 weeks to have it made.

Anyway I still wore it, when I walked into the office my boss was like "PJ, that blazer is way too big for you" and I showed him the picture of last I wore it when I got an award and said "Its the same blazer" and he's like "wow" and lots of people noticed that it was way too big.

I was kinda down on myself a few days ago cause when I look in the mirror I feel like I look almost the same, but when you put on clothes that barely used to fit you and now they are way too big it feels good.

I plan on losing another 25-30 lbs and ordering another one. I don't have to wear it very often but I don't want to order one NOW and in 30-40 lbs it doesn't fit again and next time when I order it I'm going tell the tailor to make it a snug fit that way I can downsize into it as time goes on.

O another nice note, my company provides shirts for us to weigh. I used to never be able to wear them cause I was a 5x/6x and the max size they ordered in was 4x. I'm now at the point where I can wear my company provided polo instead of making them myself (I would order the proper color 5x/6x shirt and have our logo put on it)

Just feels really good.

My girlfriend pointed out too that my meals used to have as many calories as I get by comfortably on a single day. My cap on calories is 1,800 I try to aim for 1,500 but don't always hit that which is below what my app says (says I need to be at 1,998 calories to lose 2 lbs a week) it wasn't uncommon for me to consume that calorie count in one meal, little alone one day.

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Did I inadvertently develop some kind of eating disorder or is this typical with calorie restriction?

So the quick rundown is that at the start of March after noticing I weighed less then I thought I did, I figured "we'll you've been fat your whole life but you aren't as fat as you thought you were. Maybe we can take another go at this weight loss thing the cool kids are into these days"

And so the journey started, 248 pounds in March, 207 pounds as of my weigh in this morning.

Now what I'm going to say next might upset some people but at the start of the journey I didn't count calories (that's not what you'd get upset about). Once I did, i also started to do a basic 20/4 IF eating schedule, which I've adapted to fine. The problem starts when I started to cut my calories to 1000 calories a day (that's what will upset some people).

I don't have the money for a nutritionist or insurance for a doctor to monitor my progress, I just felt that at 220 ( that's around when I made the cut consciously and started to count), I was fairly certain my body could accommodate the drastic restriction with my abundant engery stores while also using protein and resistance traning to maintain as much muscle mass as possible

My problem (at least now) is not hunger or cravings, it's the opposite. As of late I've been noticing it's becoming harder to finish my meals now that I've started to incorporate more calories into my budget due to getting closer to my goal and wanting to go from focusing on losing weight to focusing more on building muscle mass.

Is this typical? Scientific study shows that the stomach does not physically shrink just because one eats less over a long period of time, regardless of the length of time. I'm obviously under eating drastically, especially from the amount of food I used to eat in the past, I used to be able to put away two big Macs and two large fries in one sitting and now I can barely finish a can of beef and vegetable soup and a open face light tuna sandwich with a slice of tomato without feeling like I ate those 2 big Macs and fries.

I'm sure I can break it by forcing myself to eat but that's the problem, I have to force myself because I know that I'm eating so little right now that I can't afford to not eat 100-200 calories when Im eating at such a deficit, but it been makimg me feel uncomfortable as hell.

So if anyone can drop some past experience, knowledge, or tell me if I fucked up in a major way. It'd be appreciated.

Thanks.

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Scale Says I'm Losing But I Can't See It

F, 5'3, SW: 184.6, CW: 147.6, GW: 120

Hi all, basically i've lost almost 40lbs since January 2020 and i am struggling. i always knew that insecurities don't evaporate as you lose weight, but i didn't expect to be almost at 40lbs down and still feel like im as big as i was 40lbs heavier. i can feel my collarbones showing, look down and see my thighs toned, and put on tshirts that are a little wider than they used to be. however, when i look in the mirror at the "full picture", i see the same person. i know im the same, but being over the halfway point to my goal weight, i thought i'd notice much more of a difference.

these thoughts have been there during my whole journey, but i think what really ignited these thoughts recently and made them more prevalent is when i hung out with friends for the first time since Fall/Winter 2019 and no one said a word about my weight loss. im a HUGE proponent of losing weight only for yourself, but it got me thinking subconsciously that maybe even when i lose weight i dont look much different.

in addition, im still wearing clothes that i wore at 184lbs+ and they fit me better, but i always thought that i would need to purchase all new items since a big weight loss would result in smaller clothes. however, that just hasnt been the case.

thankfully i took before pics, and when comparing them i can see a difference, but not that much...idk. i feel selfish since i've lost so much and should be happy, but...im not sure.

i just wanted to post to see if anyone else can relate or have any tips/advice. it would be greatly appreciated.

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The hard reality of reaching the "finish line". When is it over? And why is it still so hard?

(Preface: I've seen an M.D., R.D. and therapist! But none of these professionals can relate with me to the actual process of a great WL, for that I need yall. )

​

When I started my journey, my GW was as a 30y/o 5'9" woman was 155 (from 295 in June 2019). Over time new GW became 150...then 145. Recently I settled on being content to fluctuate between 145 and 150. I may never hit 145. I truly am so over it. And let me tell you, the last 10lbs have come off over MONTHS.

Today I clocked in at 147.5. The journey has NEVER been more difficult.My brain started freaking out from being at a calorie deficit since June of last year. So I recently started to reverse diet, since I have a history of binge eating. Some very disordered thoughts and habits are starting to bud that I am working to cease immediately.

That being said, now I've completely lost sense of what my TDEE is, how to eat without a scale, how to socialize again (eating out triggers a binge in me), HOW TO TRUST MYSELF around food. So I maintain a CICO, and while it's effectively working to get me to a normal calorie intake for my maintenance, the actual work that goes in to tracking and weighing and prepping is mentally exhausting. So I'm maintaining my weight, but there is no flexibility in my life.

I eat whole, nutritious food. I exercise 5 days a week. But the routine is rigid, strict and inflexible. I look great, I feel terrible. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I know I'm slowly healing my body from an intense trauma of weight loss, and it will take time to bounce back. But I just wanted to reach out for advice on maintenance, post WL recovery, and to share some insight that the number will never be low enough.

I felt incredible 20 lbs heavier, not just physically but because I had a goal still. Now I feel empty, tired, and spiraling from going "Now what? I struggle...forever?" Aesthetically though, I look like I've always wanted to. And that is secretly the best part. I wont post a pic now, since it's just not the space.

The grief I feel at the moment after reaching my goals is encompassing the joy and pride I should feel in my accomplishment. I'm mourning the loss of my old spirit, and feeling that this whole "ending" has been very anticlimactic.

My question is this: How do we keep control of our maintenance weight, while letting go of the strict diet behavior and mentality? How do you allow yourself to celebrate your victories without the fear of backtracking?

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