Losing Weight and Mental Health (tw: bulimia)

Hi guys, I think I need some advice here.

I'm 19, 5"6, 260 pounds and one week into my weight loss journey. The first few days I kept below 1800, and now for the past four days, I have been keeping it at 1500.

It's been difficult, but rewarding too. My days are more structured. I savour and take my time with my meals more. I feel like I'm working towards something.

However, I hit a stumble today. Both my parents are also obese. At lunch, my Dad brought home KFC. Immediately, I felt anxious as I thought about all of the calories. My Mum caught onto my pacing and nail-biting and advised me to have a small portion and leave out the chips. I did, but even so, I ended up consuming around 580 calories.

That's not much. I know it's not much. I know I have over 600 calories left for dinner later. But the problem is this: for a long time in my life, I suffered from bulimia. It was how I punished myself for my binge-eating. Now I've been clean from purging for two years. But after my lunch today, I had the strong urge to throw up that I hadn't felt in years. I still feel sick and nauseous now, even though I know I'm not sick.

I think my brain is counting my lunch as another binge, and because I'm hyperfocused on losing weight right now, its retriggered my bulimia. I have good coping mechanisms but I'm worried about my mental health. Does anyone have any good advice or experience with this? I want to be strict on myself, but if I'm too strict, I'll fall back into old habits. It feels like catch-22 - stay the way I am and be unhealthy, or keep pushing to lose weight, redevelop bulimia and be unhealthy that way too.

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I [F27 / 5'8 / 162lbs] lost 50lbs in 5 months, which means I'm finally back at my original 'starting weight' from 5.5 years ago!

The worst thing about tracking progress in MFP is realising that you now have a bank of photos of yourself at different starting weights, each one bigger than the last.

5.5 years ago, at 5'8 and 162lbs, I first started using MFP to lose weight. I had just come out of a relationship and was trying to get a "revenge body". It worked, and with a few decent looking pictures at 150lbs on Tinder, I met my current boyfriend, (now fiancé!) and so begins 4.5 years of a happy relationship without a care in the world, feeling like my lifestyle had no consequences.

Well, that didn't quite go to plan... and I skyrocketed to 221.2lbs and felt truly terrible about myself. When my boyfriend proposed, something flicked a switch in my head, and I decided that I needed to get serious about losing weight now, otherwise I wouldn't look like the bride I had always wanted to be.

I'd had a semi-successful run of dieting in 2017 through CICO, but after 4 months of tracking and probably restricting myself more than I should, I got cocky and thought I could get away without tracking. I've come to realise that I will probably always have to track calories to be accountable, but I think I'm okay with that.

This week has been huge for me and I've reached a few key milestones:

• I'm down 50lbs since January, which is when I started seriously tracking again
• I've beaten the weight loss from 2017
• I've finally reached a "healthy" BMI after years of being obese or overweight
• I've finally got back to my original starting weight from 5.5 years ago

I still have some way to go until I reach my goal weight of 140lbs, but I feel really positive that I'll not only reach that goal, but maintain it this time. I've been reflecting this week on what's different this time, and thought I'd share some of the things that I think have been key for me:

1. Tracking average calories over a week
   Rather than trying to hit my calories every day which would lead to me feeling like a failure and like I may as well give up, I'm being kinder to myself. If I'm slightly over one day, that's fine because I can be slightly under another day. If I'm going out for a birthday meal, I'll just eat a couple of hundred less for a few days and 'bank' myself a bit of a blowout meal. This is so much sustainable for me.
2. Being realistic with my calorie goal
   For me, I need to average 1,300 calories a week otherwise my body feels like I'm restricting too much. As soon as I drop my goal calories to 1,200 or less, the urge to binge kicks in and I fall back into my previous Binge Eating Disorder ways, racking up days of eating 4-5k calories. The difference is, this time I'm aware of what's causing it, so instead I'm being kind to myself and letting myself start fresh the next day, I'm not trying to make up for this binge, and I'm just trying to go back to 1,300 calories a day again (on average). I'll get there if I keep trying, but 1,200 or lower, for me, is just not sustainable.
3. Walking more
   I track calories burnt using my fitbit which I will continue to do until I reach my goal weight, but won't do forever. On the days where I only manage 2-4k steps, I really struggle to hit my calories burnt target. Simply getting out and going for a walk not only burns way more calories than I could have expected, but it's helped my mental health too. If I'm feeling down, I'll take the dog to the park and I instantly feel calmer, more relaxed, and more positive in general. If I feel an urge to binge coming on, usually it's because I'm bored. Now I'll try to put some earphones in, listen to a podcast or music and go for a walk. It's the single best way to beat the urge to binge.
4. Skipping breakfast
   Some people call it intermittent fasting, but I don't like the mindset that this can often encourage of strict rules and restricting. I simply skip breakfast because I'm not hungry in the morning, and it helps me to eat fewer calories in the day. If I'm on holiday and eat breakfast, I feel like it "wakes up" my stomach and I'm hungrier throughout the day, so I prefer not to do it. I'll have my coffee and I'll be fine until lunch. When I start upping my calories to maintenance I will still skip breakfast, and will probably introduce more afternoon snacking to get the additional calories.
5. Eating more protein
   When I'm aiming to hit 1,300 calories, if I use that up on junk food it just won't keep me full. My parents raised me as vegetarian so I've never really had a protein-heavy diet, but now I actively try and have protein shakes, Quorn or other meat substitutes throughout the day, and the difference it makes to my hunger levels and overall satisfaction with meals is insane. Everyone told me to eat more protein and I shrugged it off, but it's really really helped me stay fuller for longer.
6. Weight lifting
   When I'd previously tried losing weight, I'd mainly focused on cardio as my main form of exercise to get the biggest calorie deficit possible. I still absolutely love spin class and the feeling of a runners high, but as I'm losing weight now my body just looks so much leaner this time round than it did in 2017 at the same weight. The shape I'm seeing is more what I wanted to be, and less "skinny fat". People also say that increased muscle leads to a higher BMR, and if that means I can eat more calories when I start eating at maintenance I am all for that! I also just feel so good about myself lifting weights. It's nice to feel strong, give it a try.
7. Reddit forums
   Finally, checking in on these subreddits every day keeps me on track. Seeing all the amazing things other people post about, laughing at relatable memes, sharing successes, it all helps me to remember what I've been working for and what I'm still working towards. The support you feel even from just anonymously reading other people's stories is so incredibly valuable. I've just realised how long this post has gotten now and I'm going to have to wrap it up! If you've read this far, thank you so much, and good luck with whatever journey you're on!

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My thoughts on weight loss 7 years on (down 100 lbs)

So between the ages of 12 and 21 I was, as a doctor told me, “morbidly obese”. At 21 I peaked at 260 lbs.Over ~8 months I lost 100 lbs to the exact “healthy” weight for my height.

Ive kept the weight off for 7 years, gained muscles, run half marathons and love exercise. I’ve taken up a career in diabetes science, so I thought I’d share my personal and professional thoughts:

1) Willpower is given too much credit - Education, understanding what’s going on, why you struggle to lose and why you’re SO hungry is key.

2) Obesity isn’t just fat - obese people have majorly disrupted metabolic hormones (testosterone, insulin, leptin etc). These hormones control everything from how hungry you feel to how much fat gets stored when you eat. Your brain and body aren’t operating the same way as a slim person.

3) Fixing above is key - there are two ways to do that, losing fat (it’s a vicious cycle) and controlling what you eat, not just calorie counting.

4) Exercise helps but is only a very small part when you are heavily obese. You’ve probably been called lazy but exercise just isn’t fun when you’re big. Like me you might love it when you’re slimmer.

5) You’re not a shitty, weak willed person because you’re fat and have tried but failed too many times. The world is full of terrible dietary advice and food products designed to get you addicted.

For me the key was keto but the main reason it works is because it forces you to avoid sugar and processed food, allowing your metabolism to slowly repair. The high protein / fat content massively helps satiety too. Other more carby diets could work too.

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Weight loss is like a video game

Think of weight loss like a video game. Give yourself easy wins to start off with. Level 1 could be cutting out junk food and soda. Once you win that challenge and lose a bit of weight, you will start to get hooked and want more. As you level up, you can add some more challenging goals. As you master each level, give yourself a new healthy habit to learn and keep doing what you've already done to win those previous levels. These small incremental changes will add up to a ton of progress. You can't just skip to level 30 or you're likely to fail. And you'll be amazed at how far you've come a year from now through small sustainable changes.

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Terrified of diabetes! My mind about weight loss techniques just changed.

I’m 21F 5’4” 180lbs (down from 200lbs). In February I hit a plateau and still haven’t gotten past it. Up until now I’ve been doing intermittent fasting and a vegetarian diet. Usually on vegetarian diets, if you’re doing them poorly like me, you eat a lot of carbs and some protein with very little veggies. This is a big no! I know. I also have a really bad Starbucks addiction I’m trying to kick down to once every 2 weeks. Making progress!

This post comes from a recent existential crisis I had while in quarantine. I’ve always heard “you’re pre-disposed to type 2 diabetes, better watch out.” Or “you don’t want diabetes now, do you?” But it never hit me until I realized I’m mortal and I can actually die. Like straight up die. Even cutting the sugar from Starbucks down from once a DAY to once a WEEK I was still eating so many carbs! I didn’t even realize they turn to sugar. Like I knew they did, but it never really hit me until now for some reason. So when my vision started to blur more and I started to have constant anxiety attacks I figured I could be (pre)diabetic. I plan on going to the doctors as soon as I can safely (covid) and I’ll get tested. But today marks day 1 of vegetarian keto for me. I think it’s also time to get off of World of Warcraft and actually exercise a bit.

I know it’s not a full success story yet, but I’m down 20 pounds and I’m proud! Gotta keep pushing. If not to look good on Instagram, then to live a healthier and longer life. Hopefully this can serve as food for thought for anyone struggling with some similar internal conflicts.

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Halfway there! SW:140lbs, CW:130lbs, GW:120lbs

I'm 5'3" and 18f. I've never been overweight, but i noticed I was gaining in my stomach. I was no longer confident in my body, and decided I wanted to tighten it up. I started working out daily 3 months ago, and my first weigh in was 140lbs. I quickly lost ~7lbs, but then hit a plateau.

Discouraged, I unknowingly shifted my goal from getting a flat stomach to becoming a healthier person. I started counting my calories, and in turn began to eat healthier foods. It's not hard to stay within my net calorie goals for the day, if I want to eat more, I just work out more. And after a lot of work, today I finally hit 130lbs! My halfway mark!

I'm not only losing weight, but also saving so much money on not eating takeout and random little snacks I don't need. Don't get me wrong, if I want a price of cake, I'll have a piece of cake. But I don't crave it as much and I make sure to work it off. Being someone with a huge sweet tooth, not craving sweets anymore came as a huge surprise.

This journey so far has come with a lot of surprises actually! I found myself feeling so much better throughout the day. My sleep is deeper and my mood has improved greatly. The biggest surprise is that I finally enjoy exercising! I was so out of shape at the start, I HATED exercize. I almost had breakdowns about having to go hiking or going to do my work out at the beginning of my weight loss journey. But the other day, I found myself craving a hike! And going out to do my daily work out is no longer a chore, I actually almost look foward to it!

It was very difficult to get down 10lbs, but now I feel I'm on the right track. If I keep it up, I'll be at my goal weight in no time!

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Getting My First Sixpack at Age 33

Hey everyone,

I'm Josh, 33M/5'8 and weighed in at 149.2 lbs this morning. I'm currently on week 7 of a 12 week program to lose body fat and get the first sixpack of my life. I started at 160lbs so I've lost ~10lbs so far. Just 5 more to go!

I first had the desire to get a sixpack when I was 14 so it's taken me NINETEEN years (😳) to get here with a hell of a lot of mistakes along the way. I was about 212 lbs when I was 14 and my peak weight was about 220 when I was 19. When I look back, my current state is like a dream come true and I wish I could tell my younger self that it would all be okay and not get so down about my body.

I know that others are at different stages of their weight loss journeys so if I could pass on the most important thing I've learned, it's that your psychology is everything. I believe there is too much focus on diets and exercise to the detriment of psychology. Don't get me wrong, diets and exercise are important but they are not enough. A person on a decent diet and exercise program with the right mindset will have better long-term results than the same person with a 'better, more optimal' program with no follow through.

Let me give an example of what I'm talking about. Say you get fed up one day and decide to make changes to your body. Enough is enough. You find a diet whether it be based on calorie counting, keto, vegan, whatever, and you get started. The first couple of weeks everything is great, your morale is high, and the weight is dropping. Then one day, you step on the scale and...it's gone up? What the fuck? "But I've been working so hard!" You chalk it up to randomness and you press on.

You keep on the program and keep restricting yourself. A few days later, you step on the scale again wincing this time because you're afraid of what you're going to see. This time, the scale is...flat. You haven't gained weight but you haven't lost any either.

Now the self-talk takes over:

• "I can't beat my genetics, why bother"
• "Everyone in my family is overweight, how could I think this would work"
• "Sue can eat all she wants and looks great. I'm here busting my ass and it's NOT WORKING."
• "I've failed a million times already, just quit"

And on and on.

If I'm describing this vividly, it's because I've lived this MANY TIMES over the years. I'd hit a setback that I couldn't get past, I would quit and then forget about it until the next time I was motivated to lose weight again.

What's taken me forever to learn and what I know now is that your brain will be the toughest enemy you face in your journey. Not the diet, not exercising, not the scale, not your family and friends, nothing else. At some point your brain will betray you and that will be the moment that decides whether you will succeed or fail.

I'm re-reading this wall of text and feel like it sounds sales-y. I promise I have nothing to sell 😄 I'm a corporate lawyer and not at all connected to the health, fitness, or psychology industry. My goal with this post is to share my experience and hopefully help a few people achieve what they want faster than I did.

That's enough of a brain dump for now. I'll post photos over the next couple of weeks. If you made it this far, thank you. I wish you tremendous success in whatever goal you are trying to achieve. 🙏🏾

Let's get it!!!!

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