Hello everyone, I wanted to rant about insensitive things people do and why they do it. Especially people in my family and why they want to see me failed bad (:
Background info: I’ve been on a weight loss journey since forever, but only since March 1st 2021 have I taken it seriously. Since August 2020, I’ve been working my way from going up and down the scale, staying strict until I binge at night, or making excuses to go out to eat because it was a “special occasion”. From then until March 1st, I finally gotten used to eating better and moving around more. I intuitively eat, I stopped binging, I stopped snacking at night because I get my sleep in!!
During my trials and errors, I’ve openly spoken to my family members about eating healthier, cooking at home more, and eating out less/not at all. Since covid, they’re the only people I see because I live with them. (Guess what? Bad mistake to share all your goals with people. I’ve learned that it’s better to move in silence until you reached a milestone that you want to share.) Anyways, long story short, I’ve concluded that they don’t care. It took me about 6 months to build my willpower to finally be able to say “no” to fast food, etc, but STILL TILL THIS DAY they have the audacity to ask me to get all you can eat sushi, or McDonald’s.. and at this point I’m thinking “Were y’all even listening to my goals in the first place??”.
Some might argue that they probably are asking me so I don’t feel left out, and trust me, I thought that at first too. But I announced at the dinner table on multiple nights “I wouldn’t be offended if y’all went out to eat without me because I WILL always say no, unless I ask to tag along”. Plus, they SEE the groceries Ive been buying (mushrooms, chicken, strawberries, oranges, avocado, etc), does it look like I want fried chicken right now?! It seems like they’re mocking me sometimes, man. One of my cousins love to say “come onnnnnn, treat yourself!” I treated myself up to 202 pounds!!!!
I just get so frustrated that I don’t even talk to them about health stuff anymore because they’re not at the mindset where they’re worried about it yet. Im only 23 and I want to take care of my body early so that I can reduce any issues I may have in the future.
I was tired of self criticism. If everyone else is being mean to me, why the heck am I being mean to myself also?! It didn’t make sense. On top of that, I was stuffing myself with unhealthy junk and expected to wake up every morning feelin like a million bucks?! No wonder my back hurt, no wonder my stomach hurt. That’s not normal.
It’s hard to build willpower when you have no support system, but it IS doable. All my life, I’ve been let down, but the only consistent person that’s been there for me is myself. So by staying consistent and treating myself and my body well, it’s showed me how to be my own best friend.
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