I can do this, right?

Greetings fellow travellers,

Not for the first time I find myself on a weight loss journey. This post is to keep myself accountable more so than seeking advice. My stats are: 37M SW 135kg CW 128kg GW 99kg 193cm. Years of neglect and greed have me at a much less healthy weight than I ought to, though there is solid scaffolding underneath the crumbling temple. My goal body is more muscle than lean. Medical issues include gout and high blood pressure, but otherwise I have been described by doctors as remarkably healthy for my weight. Still, there is probably a big ticking time bomb moment lurking for me if I allow this to continue. So, not for the first time, I am following CICO and trying to lose 1kg a week. Given my build, I am consuming 150g of protein a day, and 1750 calories. Decided to put out my strengths and weaknesses here as much to have them written down as anything.

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Strengths

• I genuinely love to cook, and making recipes to a calorie limit really feels like a fun challenge to me
• I don't have a sweet tooth, and snacking has never been my jam. More likely to order a large pizza as a midnight treat than raid the fridge
• When I am motivated, I am incredibly stubborn. So long as I keep my motivation, I should stay on the path this time
• I have all the cardio and weight equipment I could want/need at my disposal, so excuses for not hitting the gym are invalid
• While I have a weekly goal, I know that its not the end of the world if I miss a week or so by a small margin

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Weaknesses

• My wife also likes to cook, and is none to keen on following recipes or sticking to limitations
• I have 2 kids under 2, which can leave me exhausted at the worst of times, and then convenience eating rears its ugly head...
• Work tends to be very sedentary, and can leave me exhausted and excusey afterwards
• Recently suffered from a longer bout of Covid than most, and not fully ready to exercise much
• I like a drink occasionally, and while I am willing to budget calories accordingly, I have a couple of big events such as weddings that will make this challenging at best. I also am a big believer in overfeeding a hangover
• If all goes to plan, I'm gonna have to be losing weight during December, which is like Christmas to me...
• In the past I have panic cut additional calories, then lost all interest in the process
• I have a tendency to make a mistake, and then bury my head in the sand, and my face in a kebab. Then be too ashamed to face the scale until I have undone all my progress

As can be seen above, I am rather fond of an excuse when I can talk myself into it, and I can be VERY persuasive! Working out has yet to work out, but I am hoping it will become an option as the weight comes off. I know this is all possible if I stick to it, but the battle is sticking with, hence my post.

Thanks for reading this far, and I wish you all the best with your own journey!!

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TLDR: Was less fat, now am fatter, planning to be less fat again

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it's hard to find motivation to exercise

Me: going from 72 to 82 in 2 months due to constant stress and overeating because "there's one spoon left! Please, eat this, so it won't stay in fridge 🙏"(meanwhile "one spoon" is, like, one full serving💀). Or "please finish this, i can't eat more".

Meanwhile my mother on her way to tell me the scale was "broken" and imply I'm just delusional to think i lost weight in the past:🚶💪👊

My will to exercise or just basically keeping my daily routine (such as washing my face or keeping my room clean):🙂✌️

I know nobody forcing me to eat after them, but man... today mother said i "grow before her eyes"(refering to me gaining from 80 to 81.6 in a week despite doing cardio almost everyday).

And i hate the fucking scales, cuz they never stand right and show different weight every time i stand on them(i weight 3 times in a row). So it could be that i placed them and they said 80 last time and i gained weight, or i still had 82 kg before starting exercising and lost 0.4 kg in a week. And i can't know! I asked several times to buy me new scales for my bday, I'm pretty sure there's scales for uneven floors already. No, fuck with those scales on this floor just so you make fool of yourself. Just putting and fixing scales drives me crazy. Let alone standing on them and not knowing if I'm in denial, or is it just scales fooling me.

I hate counting calories too, it takes too much time out of my day and doesn't pay off. I asked on cico sub some question the other day, and one dude said that we burn twice as less during exercise than stated in those calculators (like mfp), so i don't get why using it if it's that inaccurate. He said "take your calculation value, subtract that, dived that and voila - the true calories you burned"(not straight quote). And i don't understand why doing a program for counting burnt calories and just don't give a shit about exercise part. If in total exercise value there's true burned calories and calories you'd burned anyway, why not adding subtraction of general value of calories that your body would burnt anyway in the formula? As you can see, i hate math.

All this counting is not for me. The only counting i like is recounting my finances. Cico worked only short-term, when i still had patience. But then it's just boring, or i start to forget and then give up all together. Only when i started working in kitchen i started losing weight, cuz :

1) i wasn't home and wasn't forced to eat dinner or lunch with family 2) the only things i mostly ate was kid's purees and occasionally dinners for staff. 3) i was working like crazy (even overworking, to the point I'm burned out), always standing or walking, or rushing.

And that's when i broke my weight record - 71 kg. Usually reaching 72-73 kg (on cico or just serving-less diet) i start starving and overeat till i reach the weight i started with or more. And i stoped working since February 24 and i don't think i can return or start a new job any time soon due to my crippling anxiety, so no passive weight loss for me.

Idk dude my family want to do bbq today and I'm just not feeling it. I need a kind word or two just to keep exercising.

Today i have 1 min plank, 50 crunches, running in place for 15 minutes(maybe will go for 20 minutes) and 15 pushups, will go for 20.

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Lost weight but feel uglier than ever

Like a lot of people, I gained weight during covid and had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. The combination of weight gain and depression made me not recognize the person I let myself become and it took me about a year to come back. I am down 36 lbs since then (196 -> 160) and have made a lot of positive life changes (limiting alcohol, controlling portions, walking everyday) and now am at the weight I was at the beginning of the pandemic. The problem is I think I look worse than ever. I don't know if I am just more hyper focused on my looks because of my year of weight loss or what, but it is really hard to find the confidence to interact with most people (especially new people). In the back of my head I am always thinking "oh god they think I am so ugly". My bf hypes me up often and says I look great, but it is really stressing me out. I am buying new makeup and clothes and still think I look terrible. Has anyone else dealt with this before? Not sure what to do.

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NSV: No longer big, just tall.

When I was a kid my clothes came from the "husky" section then as an adult from the "Big Men's" store or the "big and tall" section. Today I shopped for size 38 waist jeans and xl shirts. The largest sizes in the "normal" section. Unfortunately I had to go to the big and tall section to switch the xl shirts for xlt shirts so I probably won't be able to escape the big and tall section entirely but going there for tall sizes is much better than going for big sizes. This was a milestone that I've been excited for, not only are "normal" sized clothes quite a bit cheaper and in better variety, this is the first time in my life that my size doesn't exclude me from some stores. Now when I don't shop at Old Navy or H&M or AE, it's because I don't want to and not because they don't have my size. (Buy good quality and ethnically sourced products when possible) Between this and a couple of upcoming SVs that I hope to hit in the next few months I'm very excited right now and motivated to finish up my second year of weight loss strong.

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Eating slower has changed my life

Growing up and until recently i really struggled with eating my food super fast , resulting in poor portion control and binges often. When i first started my weight loss journey and calculated my calorie deficit, at first i found it SO HARD to eat that ‘little’ amount of food. Recently i came across a video on TikTok about slower eating and i thought i’d give it a try , because why not! The results have SHOCKED me. I feel full after every meal now , so i hardly have the urge to snack or feel hungry at unnecessary times. I always thought i was just a big eater but this has shown me otherwise. GAME CHANGER!!!

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NSV: Fitness Is Starting To Pay Off Only A Few Weeks In — Worth It!

So this is maybe the first time I’m actually enjoying my fitness journey and feel very level headed about it. It honestly may be because I spent years bedridden from an undiagnosed autoimmune disease that’s now diagnosed and being treated, allowing me to function again. But I really got the bitter taste of what it’s like not to have control over your body or be able to move easily. When I was very sick, I said that if I ever made it to the other side, I wouldn’t take my body and the ease in which it used to move for granted again. It still took me about a year and a half after that to get on track and serious about my goals.

I’ve been adding fitness into my life. I’ve been calling it my ‘fitness journey’ alongside my weight loss/health journey. Because I have goals other than being a certain weight and being able to look a certain way (heaviest 335, starting again at 317; weighed in at 311 three weeks ago and will be weighing again in another week), I also want to be able to jog by this time next year. I just see myself jogging! And so I really want to be, and have been building my fitness up over the past few weeks. Started at 10 minutes, then went to 15, then 20, and then this AM I couldn’t workout because I felt very dizzy, but managed to get a walk in later in the day because I was feeling better.

Well, I walked up this incline that I usually do and it usually knocks the air out of me, like halfway up I feel it. Hard to breathe. Legs hurt a bit. It’s been hard on my body to do it. But today I went up it, pretty fast paced, and I was waiting to have that feeling. I was surprised because it didn’t really come! I just think that’s very cool and shows that I’m becoming fitter. That my blood and oxygen is circulating better. That’s the goal here, and even just this little bit has made a difference.

So, keep going. If you want to see progress, look for it even in the small places. Though I don’t even feel this was a small thing. It’s pretty huge that I don’t feel so winded just on a small incline!

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Should I tone it down or hold out?

(22M, 70kg/155lbs, 170cm/5'6")

After years of very slow but consistent weight loss, I recently noticed that I had unknowingly started eating more and gaining weight again, so I decided to take aggressive action.

Before (when gaining weight) I was eating ~2200 kcal a day with no exercise whatsoever. Now I'm eating ~1500 kcal a day, with 15 min cardio and weight lifting.

I tried ~1100 kcal at first, but it left me feeling sick and weak very quickly, so I upped it a bit. With 1500 kcal I no longer feel that sickness, but I do still feel hungry all the goddamn time. (My meals are protein-heavy and I drink loads of water so that isn't it). I really hate this. I've never been spiraling so much in hatred of my body as I have been lately. I haven't even been going for that long but I'm already contemplating quiting. Is this really worth it? All this misery just to be skinny? But then I also don't want to be weak and quit so easily.

I keep reading conflicting stories. One says that it's normal to feel so hungry, that the first few weeks are the worst but your body will adjust. Others say that this isn't normal, you should eat more, and will likely even see better results like this. I don't know what to belief.

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