Hello everybody. I hit a milestone in my weight loss earlier this week, and I really don't have a lot of people to share this with, so I just wanted to talk about it somewhere and maybe others might gain a little something from it
Basically I've been dealing with depression for a while, and whenever I'd get extra depressy I'd start eating away the pain. And as I gained weight, the more depressed I became, the more I ate, etc etc. Basically a year long spiral of that kinda turned me into Jabba the Hutt without me realizing it. After that before pic (245), I actually kept on gaining until I hit 259 on Christmas, but that's the earliest pic I could find because I was so embarrassed with myself I immediately removed any photos of me that had been posted.
https://i.imgur.com/LjYNGND.jpg
I remember seeing 259 and basically feeling like I'd fucked my life up beyond repair. I'd always rode a rollercoaster with my weight, but it was always up and down 10-20 pounds every now and then, and nothing like this. It was a helpless, sunken feeling. At that point, I had been so disgusted with myself that I was miserable 24/7 and I knew it wasn't the only answer, but the weight was a big part of what was fueling my depression. So away we started
I was way too embarrassed going to the gym with a lot of people around, so I found a 24/7 gym and started going at 1 at night. Most of the time, I was the only one there at that hour, and if there were other people there I'd just drive around until they were gone. The stationary bike became my best friend for a few months since I couldn't do much else, and I confined myself to a 1600 calories/day. About 5 months later, I was at 215 and I kinda stayed there for a while because I felt content. I guess after what I had lost, I felt skinny again. But that didn't last long, and reality set in that I was still significantly overweight, so I began again.
At 215, I started going to the gym 6 nights a week, I'd go at 1 AM and get in 3 AM, while maintaining 1600 calories a day. The extra calories I burned through cardio I counted as a bonus and didn't factor that into my 1600. I did this for 4 months, and as of a few days ago, I was 179.7, but I'm gonna round that back up to 180 after the pizza celebration I had.
And now, I kind of feel the same way as I did at 215. I'm pretty content, but I know I'm still kinda flabby and out of shape so I need to keep going. 180 was my goal for a very long time, but now that I'm here, I think 160 I'll finally be able to feel like myself again. Thanks a lot for reading anyone, and if anyone has any questions about anything that I found worked for me, feel free to ask!
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/u/Kttulu
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Gn4MEs
